Perception and Emotions

Aaron Beck, a cognitive behavior therapist, said, “emotion follows perception.” Meaning that the way you feel about something is based on the way you see it. Since the human condition leans to the negative, if one sees the situation as difficult, he might also feel it is hopeless and that he is defeated even before trying.

This does not have to be a permanent condition. All have experienced a time of being caught up in a flurry of emotions, only to have them instantly dissipate when new information presents itself. We can learn to monitor our perceptions before engaging emotions and thus have a more pleasant outcome.

Our brains store all information received through our many senses. The brain continually seeks patterns by evaluating new sensory information over and against previous sensory input. When patterns appear, the brain attached “meaning” to it and creates expectations for the future. Thus, emotions follow these perceptions.

Over a lifetime, this storage unit becomes full and the brain becomes confused in sorting through all the messages. The childhood reaction of fear “meaning” to seeing a spider should not control the adult response to the insect. Emotional arousal fixates on what happened in the past and clouds the reality of what is happening now.

From another’s point of view. How might your feelings toward an individual soften if you see him as a fellow human being with struggles and fears? Realizing that each person is doing the best he can with his limited resources and with his imperfect insight can transform your emotions toward him from frustration or anger to caring.

Input of perspective. When another gives their opinion, choose to see the comments as perspective rather than a personal attack. Listen to the words and filter out a supposed hidden agenda. Monitor that you are responding to the information, not the person’s rotten personality. After all, when do you want to know that the boat won’t float? When it is in the middle of the lake or while still on the shoreline? This will allow you to reflect and answer in a calm manner.

Acquisition of skills. When something happens “again”, rather than reverting to an emotional outburst, ask yourself, “What can you do now that you couldn’t do before?” Consider the abilities you have at your disposal and use them, such as improved communication, self-defense, enforcement of boundaries, outside resources, financial reserves, reasoning capabilities and personal power.

Locus of control. When you tense at another’s attempts to control your decisions, how might peace come when you consider that their unwelcomed input might be motivated by their concern for you? Regardless of their input or your response, you are self-determining in attitude as well as in actions taken.

As you see situations based on what is transpiring now, rather than dredging up similar past events, internal positive results will automatically happen. You will be pleased with the emotional shift to a mature perspective. Although the spider may not be adopted as a pet, you are in a position to take effective measures for pest control.