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7/14/10

Reprogramming the Stressed Mind

We think in pictures whether aware of it or not. Whatever is manifested in the mind, the body mechanisms goes into effect to bring it into reality. For example, when you want to raise from a chair the brain takes that mind-picture and releases chemicals for the body to comply, thus muscles contract and energy is released to propel upward movement.

The mind body connection. The mind does not know the difference from what is perceived and what is reality. The body adjusts to perception. Suppose you are frightened of tarantulas and some prankster throws one on you. After you scream, run or possibly recover from a faint, you discover the spider is rubber. Your body responded according to what your mind perceived.

Belief drives behavior. Behavior consists of the thoughts one thinks, the actions taken, the emotions felt and the way the body responds. These four components work in tandem and cannot be separated one from the other. When the conscious mind is continually engaged in fighting for one’s rights or in running away from circumstances, the body remains in a constant state of stress.

Take inventory of your negative beliefs. Listen to your self talk. If it is filled with statements such as "I can't" or "I don't have", or “I’m not worthy of”, then you have limiting beliefs that render stress in the body. Why is the body stressed? Because deep down inside the unconscious mind knows the reality of “You can”, “Resources are available to you” and “You have so much worth and value and are deserving of good things.”

Awareness does not change habits. Information enlightens but does not necessarily heal. It takes calm reflection for insights to sink in and take root, thereby blooming into peace and healthier relationships. Choose to sit quietly for a few minutes each day. Take in a deep breath and hold for three seconds, focus on sending the oxygen to the tense muscles. Slowly release your breath and feel the tension leaving your body. Take in another deep life-giving breath and see it as the self-evident reality that you matter. Hold the breath for three seconds as an embrace of thanksgiving for your life. Slowly exhale through pursed lips and deliberately force out negative programming.

The mind cannot hold two opposing ideas at the same time. That is why arguing with you over pros and cons “drives you crazy”. You are not coming to a conclusion but are going around and around in dizzying circles. Take inventory of your many abilities and resources. Deliberately focus on what abundance you do have. It is interesting how things change when you change.

We welcome reprinting of articles in your newsletter or magazine, providing credit is given as follows: “This article was written by Mona Dunkin, Motivational Speaker and Personal Success Coach, www.monadunkin.blogspot.com or www.monadunkin.com.”

7/7/10

Complain No More: The Power of Appreciation

“There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so”. Hamlet, Shakespeare

We create our own meaning from life experiences. If Shakespear was right, then we give meaning to our life incidents. Since we do give them meaning, we can decide to reframe the situation to improve our quality world.

To be little is to be little. Complaining about even the most inept mate or boss makes you look worse than they. It is ineffective and brings no resolve.

Incorporate Grace. Taking an arrogant stance makes it difficult to be gracious when proven wrong – and there is always a margin for error.

Keep a complaint log. Make yourself aware of the frequency of your complaints by writing them down instead of speaking them. Not only would the silence improve the relationship, but it would also show you what a time waster complaining is. In time, you will see how petty complaining is.

Make a decision. Habits do not change by chance. Get honest about your habit of criticizing and make a conscious decision to quit. If necessary, literally bite your tongue to keep from speaking. In the long run, you will see positive results.

Be a good finder. Search to see how there could possibly be a positive outcome and focus on that. Ask yourself: “What good will my complaining do?” “Does complaining help my relationships?” “Does critizing draw people to me?”

Develop appreciation. Daily make a list of five things for which you are thankful. Continue for thirty days without repeating an item. This exercise forces you to look deep and see meaning in life and relationships. Get in touch with what you truly value and be motivated by your deepest beliefs. It helps you see the big picture. When you focus on an individual’s good qualities, you are more lenient with their flaws.

Feel the maturity level rise. Discover the wisdom of overlooking small indiscretions. Love covers a multitude of sins. Live with a gracious attitude of forgiving whether asked for it or not.

Anything that appreciates goes up in value. As you appreciate self and others the need to complain diminishes. Nurture self. The irony is - self-nurture leads to self-esteem that leads to being selfless. As one becomes less focused on self, he is not easily offended thus complaints subside.

We welcome reprinting of articles in your newsletter or magazine, providing credit is given as follows: “This article was written by Mona Dunkin, Motivational Speaker and Personal Success Coach, www.monadunkin.blogspot.com or www.monadunkin.com.”