Follow Up to Follow Through

Do you think you rush to find and answer your phone because it rings? Actually, you answer the phone because you want to connect with the person on the other end. Everyone likes to hear from a friend. Make all your clients and prospects friends and get over call reluctance.

Here are a few suggestions for growing your business.

1. That’s great, now do it again. It takes a while to grow your business. When your efforts produce smaller results than expected, instead of becoming discouraged, say to yourself, “That was great. Now get out there and do it again.” As you do it again and again, results grow in direct proportion to your growth.

2. Make melody even if you can’t sing. Mary Kay Ash says everyone has a sign around his neck that says, “Make me feel important.” What better way to make someone feel important than by using his/her name. Hearing your own name is music to your ears.

3. Have an agenda of “I want to connect with you.” It is all about relationship. As you develop relationship with clients and potential clients, future calls are not to be dreaded, but embraced. After all, who does not like to hear from a friend.

4. Rekindle the lost art of snail mail. A hand written note speaks volumes, and a postcard works great. E-mails are okay, but a hand-written note is even more special because it is considered heartfelt. A hand written note is so rare, that the receiver will a) feel extra important, b) tell others or display it on a bulletin board, and c) remember you. Through the written word, though absent, you speak.

5. Rise above perceived rejection. As you follow up, some will say “yes” and some will say “no”. So what? “No” is not fatal unless you allow it to be. Someone else is waiting. Instead of seeing it as a rejection, change your focus and see it as another opportunity to have touched this person’s life.

6. Establish yearly check-ups. Dentists and Doctors do it. Lawyers and Investment Officers do it. You do it. Make a point to contact each client, contact, and potential client at least once a year. Sample dialogue: Hello, Tom! This is Mona Dunkin, I met you at Rotary in April. How are things going? I can’t believe how time has flown and I wanted to check to see how I may serve you. May I have ten minutes of your time next Wednesday? Great, see you then.”

7. Smile before making a call. It shows in your voice.

Every time you make follow up calls - on the phone or in person - and every time you go networking, repeat to yourself, “I love making calls to new people that will end up being great clients and wonderful friends.”

Then do it.

Time Takers, Time Wasters and Time Makers

At one time or another, everyone has felt like an Egyptian mummy – pressed for time. Through observation we can determine those things that are time takers (and learn to be more proficient), be aware of those things that are time wasters (and commit to better management), and weigh those things that lend themselves to being time makers (an incorporate them freely).

Time management is more about personal management than the number of minutes in a day. It is not just the way you spend the hours, but also how you relate to every aspect of life: physical and emotional, tangible and intangible.

Determine some possible culprits that contribute to your lack of enough time? What about: being overworked; inability to say “No”; lack of planning; lack of delegation, meetings, phone calls, texts, and e-mails; internet surfing; social networking; disorganization; spontaneity; routine and trivia; visitors; indecision; paperwork; mistakes; reading; boredom; not listening; gossip; complaining; laziness; priorities out of order…. What can be eliminated? What can be shortened? What can be delegated? What has lost its relevance but is hard to give up?

What are your greatest time takers? They may be necessary things that must be done, not only once but again and again. Things like payroll, reports, cleaning, maintenance, lawn work, laundry. Rather than be stressfully surprised by payroll every two weeks, recognize it as a pattern. Be pro-active rather than reactive. Stay ahead of the game rather than lag behind.

Business guru Michael Gerber says the solution is in the system. Examine your system. What needs to be eliminted for better flow? What needs to be incorporated for greater flow. What system(s) will be time makers?

· An A-Z filing system. Retrieval files are much more effective than the search and hope method. Piles of files are time wasters as well as clutter producers.
· Look at things rationally, rather than ideally. If you have not read the 2002 magazines, are you going to? If the display case is collecting dust and junk, utilize the space productively.
· Handle it once. Take care of it while it is in your hand or place it immediately in the appropriate place so you can bunch handle it at a scheduled time. The small job you put before other job bring everything to a halt.
· Employ the magic of scheduling. You will never rise above your calendar.
· Hire help! Train an apprentice. Duplicate yourself in someone else.

Prepare ahead of time for the shop to run smoothly in your absence or to expand to another location. Good managers work themselves out of a job by teaching others to do what they do. Then, they can move on up the ladder themselves.

Seconds are attached to minutes; minutes are attached to hours; hours are attached to years, years are attached to a lifetime; a lifetime is attached to eternity. Time matters. Make it count.

P.S. Don’t forget to connect with me.

We welcome reprinting of articles in your newsletter or magazine, providing credit is given as follows: “This article was written by Mona Dunkin, Motivational Speaker and Personal Success Coach, www.monadunkin.blogspot.com or www.monadunkin.com.”

The 20/80 Principle of Unequal Distributin

In 1906, Italian economist Vilfredo Praeto discovered an interesting concept that has become known as Praeto’s Law. He observed that twenty percent of Italy’s population accounted for eighty percent of the country’s wealth. From this he created a mathematical formula to describe predictable unequal distribution.

This 20/80 Principle can be a very effective management tool. Praeto’s Law states that 80% of results come from 20% of effort. Imagine that!

In other (more) words:

Twenty percent of - work, tasks, contacts, exertion, duties, responsibilities, phone calls, dealings, networking, goal setting, effort, struggles, meetings, undertakings

Produce eighty percent of – results, income, productivity, notoriety, wealth, accomplishment, meaning, importance, worth, significance

And it’s predictable.
· 20% of the committee members do 80% of the work
· 20% of employees account for 80% of the companies productivity

Think about your closet crammed full of clothing. Out of 100% of the garments you own, 20% of them will be worn 80% of the time.

The same is true of other accumulations both at work and at home. Of all the tools one has - garage or garden instruments, kitchen appliances – 20% of the items are employed to complete 80% of the chores. Of all of the bulging files and mounds of papers or magazines, 20% of the articles account for 80% of interest/relevance.
And it’s unbalanced.

Picture 100% of the above mentioned items. If (predictably) only 20% are used, by default what does the other 80% become? Clutter? Junk? Time wasters? Space takers? Dust collectors? Maybe it’s time to reduce, reuse, recycle.

It’s predictable. Check your own accounting. How are you unequally distributing your efforts? Here are suggestions for putting the biggest bang into your 20% of effort.

· “Do first things first.” Steven Covey
· Shorten work time by limiting tasks to the important
· Identify time wasters and eliminate, delegate or simplify
· Use one time management system only. Massage until it fits and stay with it.
· Review goals daily, weekly, monthly and adjust accordingly
· Keep running lists of “to do’s”, liberally mark off and cautiously add to
· Do it or dump it. Refuse to keep unfinished tasks in your energy field.
· Meditate. Spend time in the secret place and become wholly integrated.

How have you found the 20/80 principle predictable?

Please let me know anytime I can be of service to you or someone you know.

Ongoing Secrets of Success

No matter how great yesterday’s success was, today is another day and there are more mountains to climb. Here is a look at strategies for continued flight.

Receive the gift of your changing self. Life is not a constant and neither are we. To resist change makes growth difficult if not impossible. Age seems to be a major obstacle for the young as well as the more mature. I love Tom Petty’s and Mark Cuban’s take on aging:

“If you are not getting older, you’re dead.” Tom Petty to Anthony Mason

“You are the youngest you will ever be, act like it.” Mark Cuban

Refuse to plateau – continually set new goals. Moving forward necessitates courage and focus. There will be moments of fear and doubt, but recognize this as a natural process of growth. Hold on to your excitement and determination until the feeling sticks. Do not dwell on past successes or failures. Saying “Yes” to one thing sometimes means saying “No” to another, but that is not an absolute. Sometimes the “Yes” or the “No” advances endless possibilities.

Be a receiver. Give yourself credit when credit is due. Confidently tackle new challenges. Notice and accept changes in yourself as they occur? Graciously accept criticism and honestly evaluate it for truth or error. Here is a test of receivership: How do you respond to a compliment? Politely receive the kind words whether you agree or not.

Competition is good; it shows what you can become. What will set you apart is the way you love your job (joy). Learn to love what you once disliked or dreaded. How? Determine what you lose yourself in then project that stage of well-being onto the unpopular task. Find your passion and transfer it to growth areas.

Understand what your job is and what it is not. Example: My job is to make the presentation; to show the benefits of the service or product; to be friendly, not pushy; to get out the door or pick up the phone; to network, to continually be educated. My job is not to force or coerce; to manage fellow co-workers, to set someone else’s schedule; to judge intentions. It’s your turn: “My job is…” and “My job is not…”

Own your feelings. When you have a negative feeling, do not resist it. Do not nurse it, curse it and rehearse it either. You are having a bad day; it may be legitimate; receive it, feel it and move past. Own it so you can discard it. Or savor it. Or store it as a learning experience. Or use it to motivate others. Resistance is tied to habits. To feel and release is the way to prevent the “moods” from becoming habit forming.

Look at the building blocks that have brought you success thus far and build on those. Evaluate what needs to be modified, added to or discarded.

What is your strategy for ongoing success. Let us hear from you.

Invite Mona to speak to your group. Whether business, organizational, civic or faith-based, you will be entertained with her humor, challenged by her gift of uncommon insights ad motivated by her thought provoking poems.

Power Tools

All of us seek identity, significance, purpose and power. The power need is the need to feel important and to be appreciated for who we are and for what we do. The power need is met through confidence, being heard and understood, accomplishments and in the giving and receiving of service and respect.

Motivational speaker Les Brown has six "Tools to Reclaim Your Power" Here is my interpretation of Les's tools.

1. It’s possible. When you have an idea that will benefit self and mankind it is possible that you can implement it. If anyone else in the entire world has done something out-of-the-box, then it is possible that you, too, can do something beyond your current skill level, whether simple or exemplary.

2. It’s necessary. Once you begin the possible it becomes a need to carry through. Having left a place of safety it is necessary to broaden one's comfort zone. It becomes a white-heat passion that must be fulfilled.

3. It’s you. Others may in time come alongside to assist, guide or carry on but initially the weight is on your own shoulders. It is dependent upon your own unlimited belief in yourself. It is you investing your time, your energy and your resources into a fledgling concept. It is you motivating you to keep on keeping on, to continue when everything within says "Quit".

4. It’s hard. An airplane needs resistance to fly. Mechanically - as well as physically and emotionally - it is hard to overcome pull and drag in order to soar. It is hard to keep up momentum when others may think you are crazy. It is hard to get up after a seeming defeat. It is hard to push for change in a complacent, smug, self-satisfied world.

5. It’s worth it. Your second wind kicks in, the goal is in sight and nothing will stop you now. The rewards, small and no-so-small, begin to collect and grow. You are filled with gratitude to God, family, associates and the world for what you have learned and how you have grown in the journey.

6. It’s finished. This is the most beautiful part. Even before crossing the finish line, your dream has taken on a life of its own and it will succeed in spite-of-you, with or without you. Your legacy is intact and will be passed on to future generations.

Be like Tim the-tool-man Taylor and add “more power” to your dreams. When inspiration calls, answer the phone and give it directions to fine you.

I would love to hear your "power tools". Please comment.


We welcome reprinting of articles in your newsletter or magazine, providing credit is given as follows: “This article was written by Mona Dunkin, Motivational Speaker and Personal Success Coach, www.monadunkin.blogspot.com or www.monadunkin.com.”

You and the Rest of the World

All people seek a quality world in which they can experience maximum happiness and success with a minimum pain, suffering and failure. The work force is a major part of this quality world. Whether domestic, volunteer or corporate, the relationship you have with your work and the people with whom you work is invaluable in your wholeness.

All humanity: Each human being has been encoded with gifts that, when unwrapped and put into use, bless himself, his family, the community and the world. Each person has a calling, and when the call is answered, her life becomes more fulfilling.

The civic community: Thomas Friedman tells us that The World is Flat. Each person is a vital part of a larger community and his behavior has a ripple effect on others. Become a valued member of society by obeying the laws of the land (even traffic rules), respecting property, voting, taking active participation in civic matters, recycling and protecting the environment. Value the natural environment by being a good steward. The relationship you have with the community is invaluable in the quality of life passed to future generations.

The work force: In any business leverage has three equal sides: marketing, technology, and people. People vote with their feet. If they do not like a product, they quit buying it. If they do not like the service rendered, they look else where. People continue to interact with people, and continue to do business with businesses that continues to add value to their lives. Every consumer’s buying motive is twofold: 1) a benefit to be gained 2) a loss to be averted.

In business: There are two kinds of customers, internal and external. When pressure is on performance and profit, caring people can behave in uncaring ways. A caring manager can come across as uncaring when his overarching thought are on upholding the company’s bottom line of profit by taking care of the external customers (shoppers and clients). In so doing, she fails to take care of internal customers (workers).

People contact is more about attitude than action. Choose to put everyone into your quality world; want to connect with them. A friendly face with a welcoming smile and an embracing attitude is of more value than canned client information, even if you have to ask again. Caring and service flow from you, once you know whom you are, to connect with others. The law of reciprocity comes into play and caring and service are returned to you. Yes, client knowledge is important. Genuine caring is vital.

A construction site visitor observed workers and ask, “What are you doing?” He received a variety of it’s-just-a-job-and-I-have-to-be-here-replies. One man was pushing a heavy wheelbarrow filled with bricks up a third-story gangplank. He was huffing, puffing, and sweating. His reply was, “I’m building a cathedral.”

In the things you put your hands to, are you just performing a job or building a cathedral? The people with whom you interact, are they “mere mortals”, or “wonderful blessings”?
There are no lone rangers. People matter. We need people. People need us.

We welcome reprinting of articles in your newsletter or magazine, providing credit is given as follows: “This article was written by Mona Dunkin, Motivational Speaker and Personal Success Coach, www.monadunkin.blogspot.com or www.monadunkin.com.”

Life Lessons

I gave a talk for Women in Banking. Since at one point in my career I worked in a bank, I entitled my talk Life Lessons from Banking. But they are really life lessons from life.

Whatever your hand finds to do… I entered the work force directly out of high school and loved the excitement of being in a grown-up world. I was a secretary and felt so important. I answered phones and interacted with clients and solved problems. I loved it. I looked forward to Monday mornings and TGIF was not a part of my vocabulary. Then I began to listen to the office chatter; the complaints and taking extra minutes at break. My zeal began to wane. In my daily reading was the axiom, “Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might.” I learned the power of enthusiasm. I learned the power of personal accountability. This newly found work ethic served me well then and continues to do so to this day.

The creativity of uniform. We wore uniforms. They were red, white and blue and included blazers, skirt, pants and vests. I loved it. The more we dressed alike, the more individual we became; the more personalities shown through. The sameness released creativity in accessorizing. The standardized dress code saved time and energy in the morning. And in travel, it cut down on packing. This dress simplicity is a life lesson I continue to incorporate. The rewards are innumerable. The application has spread to other areas for effortless stress-free living.

A penny earned is a penny earned. When I became pregnant and wanted to be a stay-at-home Mom, we curtailed our spending and began to put every penny toward paying off our home loan. When you have purpose, sacrifice transcends and is no longer sacrifice. This principle has come in handy in situations like working through rocky patches in our forty-three year marriage. In choosing to be the caretaker for Garland’s aging Mom. When we released our growing daughter to become her own person, there was no worries for the relationship had been early solidified. With the current economic situation and downturn in the stock market, the value of frugality redeems itself.

Be a lifelong learner. The bank offered reimbursement for credit classes. I began to see how my job interrelated to other jobs in the organization, helping all to run efficiently as a whole. We are connected and what we do effect others. We live in community; happiness and success are about relationships.

I choose to live looking for the deeper meaning in every situation. And it is a choice. We can live haphazardly or we can live with intention. I want to live with conscious intention and encourage you to do the same. Together we can continually grow and bloom and blossom.

We welcome reprinting of articles in your newsletter or magazine, providing credit is given as follows: “This article was written by Mona Dunkin, Motivational Speaker and Personal Success Coach, www.monadunkin.blogspot.com or www.monadunkin.com.”

Stop Quelling Your Talent

What have you promised to do and not followed through on? Or what have you begun and stopped? Or what did you start and fail? Disappointments are tutors to test how badly you want to overcome. Following are some commonly used talent quelling excuses and the power gleaned from reframing the objection.

“They won’t like it.” They who? Are you going to allow another’s projected doubt to kill your dream? The complainers are usually those who are wasting their own talent. They want to quash your potential to lessen their bruised ego. You do not need another’s permission to live your life. Pursue your goals while maintaining a civil relationship with “them”; they’ll come over to your side and may even assume bragging rights to your success.

“I tried it once but…” or “I might be hurt again” You are right. There are few guarantees in life. How sad to be your own worst enemy by being blinded by fear of pain. Delve deep to find the lessons learned from the first failure or hurt so you can try anew with wiser vision.

“I’m afraid” Oh what? Success? I identify with that sentiment even though I find it to be an absurd reality. Remember the adage “You cannot cross a bridge before you get to it”? Possibly the fear is from mentally attempting to bridge a gap before you grow into it. Everything has a learning curve. Give yourself room to grow.

“What if it is not safe?” What if it is safer than you think? Are you willing to risk success?

“I’m not worthy.” How is worth determined? Worth is determined by the price you are willing to pay. If you go to buy jewelry and the price is out of your range, you might say, “No. It’s not worth it.” If the price is okay for your budget and you purchase the gem, you did so because to you it was worth it. Make yourself worthy by deciding what price you are willing to pay for your success. Then do it. Revel in your increasing self-worth as well as your blossoming net-worth.

“Oh, I really don’t have that much to offer.” How much is “that much”? Remember the two loaves and few fishes among five thousand people? And who invented the paper clip? How would you hold your papers together without it? Do you have a smile to share? A kind word to give? A small service to offer? A tiny product that would make life easier or more fun? Allow your little to become much.

“Who would listen to me?” Ah, playing small are we? What is the bigger issue: that you need someone to listen to you or that you have something to share? When you have a burning passion, delivery is fulfilling even when the audience is small. And as you grow, the audience grows.

“I might lose who I am…” Or, you just might find out who you really are. You really are a wonderful and unique individual with infinite worth and value, endowed with gifts and talents to offer your family and – yea verily - the world. Go ahead. Find out who you really are and lose your fear of becoming genuine.

In the principle of “like calls to like”, remember that energy-out matches energy-in. Whatever you sow is what you receive. Start plowing and planting. Increase your energy with movement. Now. Today. This minute. Pick up the phone and call. Get out your door.


NEED A MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKER: One of America's most interesting motivational speakers can be enjoyed in person in a presentation tailored to your specific need. Whether organizational, business or civic, you will be entertained with her humor, challenged with her gift of uncommon insights, and motivated by her thought provoking poems. Contact Mona at 254-749-6594 or mdunkin@flash.net.

Creating Customers For Life

People vote with their feet. If they do not like a product, they quit buying it. If they do not like the service rendered, they look elsewhere. People interact with people and do business with businesses that add value to their lives. Following are insights into improved customer service.

Check and recheck your focus of people. People are our most important assets. Businesses have to continually assess the bottom line, and I would suggest that people are the bottom line. Businesses have two kinds of customers, internal and external, or, employees and clients. How each group is treated will be a major factor in determining your success.

Develop Social Capital. Not only does a business need financial capital; it also needs social capital. Remember the old saying, “It’s not what you know, but who you know.” And you get to know people by networking, not just at networking functions, but in your everyday situations. Everyone you know, and those yet to meet, are major players in your social capital.

Understand your sense of purpose. There is a big difference in making a living and knowing how to live. You are in business because you have clients, not visa-versa. To help you better understand your sense of purpose write a mission statement and develop a code of ethics.

Embrace diversity. Author Thomas Friedman declares “The World is Flat”. Like it or not, we are living in a global society. In order to thrive in this new economy, learn to appreciate and embrace cultures, personality types and changing technology.

Develop communication skills and empathy. If you think communication is all talking, you haven’t been listening. The word origin of client is the Latin cliens that means listener. When we listen with purposeful understanding we become better able to communicate to our customers how our product will benefit their lives.

Continually take initiative. Be innovative. You can’t keep doing what worked one time because everything around you is changing. To succeed, you have to meet the challenge head on and stay in front of it.

Get customer feedback. New York Mayor Julianne was famous for asking the man on the street, “How am I doing?” Ask for input through surveys, evaluation forms, call numbers and signs inviting comments or complaints. Honestly evaluate the responses for praise and areas for improvement.

Never give up first. Persistence is paramount. It is through spaced repetition that we learn and how we become acquainted with services offered. Wait one more day. Go back one more time. Call once more.

The customer is always right, even when s/he is wrong, s/he is right. Never argue with a client/customer. Empathize with their point of view and acknowledge how your company failed in their eyes. Sometimes all a person needs is validation. When validation occurs, the customer can be extremely forgiving and willing to give you another chance.

Be Systems Oriented. Develop an operating system, hone it to be a well running machine, and train all personnel to use it effectively.

Our continuation of business depends on service rendered. Put the above principles into practice and monitor the effectiveness.

CREATING VALUE: True success involves mutual gain. Mona’s book, Creating Value, an intangible in a tangible world, deals with developing a dual bottom line of being cost-effective and people effective by balancing a three-legged stool of being, doing and having. It explores Einstein’s Theory of Relativity and applies the physics principles to human relationships. Buy it today.

My Job Is...

In our society we often define people by what they do. A common meet and greet question is, “What do you do?” In the process of doing, we fail to become. You cannot always choose the consequences, but you can choose your choices. You did not make a conscious decision to be fired, get divorced, become incarcerated, or sink into financial ruin; however, in the choices you did make you chose the difficult road.

Mrs. Brown (not her real name) was hired to be a Quality Control Specialist at – her definition – “the roach motel”. She was dreading the job. She was certain they were going to be difficult to work with because they did not really want change. We did a simple exercise to determine her responsibilities verses the business’s responsibilities and to not get the two confused.

My Job Is… My Job Is Not: Mrs. Brown’s job is to assess the current situation and make recommendations to management. Her job is to leave the decision with them and not try to force the owners to follow her sage advice.

Give up the judgmental attitude. Surface situations do not indicate intent. Looking at circumstances in a disparaging manner blocks the obvious aim of management to make improvements or they would not have put the job position into the budget or made the effort to hire a Quality Control Specialist.

Discard the “I'll-fix-it” mindset. My definition of synergy is “all of us are smarter than any of us.” It really does take a village – in child rearing, in community efforts and in business endeavors. Be open to options by co-workers and actively seek outside advice. Be willing to accept the fact that if it is working – even at a limp – management may not want it fixed.

The final decision lies with the one in authority. Hiring is a two way street; you choose to work for the company and the company chooses to hire you. When you accept a position, their goal automatically becomes your goal and the final decision lies in their hands, thus taking the stress off of you. It becomes a symbolic relationship of meeting your need to serve as well as your financial obligations and meeting the establishment’s need to provide service/products and to make a profit.

It’s all about relationship. In my younger years and in my, my-way-or-my-way attitude, I set out to correct the inefficiency in the handling of mass monthly mailings. The supervisor was set in her ways and resistaed my organizational suggestions. It became a dreaded project and tension headaches. One day I decided that since I could not control the situation anyway I might as well give up control and enjoy the lady’s company. It was a routine task so we began to exchange funny stories, recipes and dreams. The duty became enjoyable, helter/skelter though it was, as I looked forward to working with my friend. And one day she asked if I had any ideas as to how the system could flow smoother.

In our society we often define people by what they do, and the more you do the more successful you are. Only in the process of doing, we fail to get to know who we are and who we can become. Who we are determines the type of job we choose, the quality of work we perform, the attitude toward our labors and the stress level we carry.

Networking Strategies

Whether it is a planned networking event or common everyday encounters, make it a priority to meet new people. Be more concerned with the contact than the results. Always be prepared with a ready supply of business cards and/or brochures and have easy access to pen and paper on which to take important notes. Here are some other strategies to consider.

Act as a host. Unfamiliar events can be disconcerting. Acknowledge you are an invited stranger amid other invited strangers. Take the initiative to reach out to others in a welcoming way.

Approach expectantly. Smile as you move forward. Send out the aura of acceptance: you to them and they to you. Put the other person at east as you make a friendly, yet professional approach.

Wear a name badge. Write the name by which you wish to be called in large letters and include your business in smaller letters. If a nametag is not provided by the event, choose to have your own commercially made and wear it religiously.

Small talk before business. The eyes connect before the ears are engaged. If you start immediately with your name, the individual’s visual inspection lends to your voice falls on deaf ears. Use an icebreaker such as “Have you tried the wonderful cheese dip?” “How about those bears!” “How many Starbucks can be built in a two mile stretch?”

Make it stick. State your name clearly and with a tag line that makes it memorial. I extend my hand and say, “Mona Dunkin. Mona as in the “Mona Lisa” and D-U-N-K-I-N, like Dunkin’ Doughnuts – no relation to either.”

Strike up the band. A person’s name is music to his ears so let the melody flow. Repeat the person’s name in a questioning lilt as if to indicate, “Is that correct?” Ask for clarification in pronouncing. To help you remember, ask for the story behind an unusual name or interesting accent.

Listen. We have been given two eyes, two ears and one mouth. Use accordingly.

Engage. Body language speaks volumes. Show interest through eye contact, appropriate nods or gestures and an occasional sound like “m-m-m-m” or “Really?”

Actively make small talk connections. Be aware of paths conversation can lead to. If you mentioned the Baylor Bears and she responded with a bear claw and “sic ‘em”, inquire about her connection with the university. If he mentions the weather is perfect for hunting, find out his prey of choice and favorite haunt.

Discover commonalities. Find out what connects the person to this particular event then share your experience. “Is this your first time here?” “How long have you been a member of the chamber?” “How do you know Sharon?”

Be discrete. Show interested without being intrusive. Do not interrogate or overstep your bounds. I find it irritating when a too friendly grocery checker verbally inventories my purchases or makes assumptions about my going to have a party.

Give your “elevator speech”. Business Networking International encourages individuals to have a poignant thirty-second spiel introducing your business and its benefits.

Have we met before? In those instances where I am unsure if I should know the person, I will approach pleasantly with a quizzical look and say, “Do I know you?” If I recognize, but do not remember the connection, I will ask, “Please refresh my memory. How do I know you?” To be on the safe side, I am careful to end with “Good to see you” rather than “Nice to meet you.”

Let others in. Be aware of another approaching, step aside to make room for him to join in, smile and direct conversation to him. Make introductions as needed: you to him, or he the one with whom you are conversing.

Graciously move on. If you approach a small group and they fail to make way for you to join the huddle, do not become offended. Smile politely and go refresh your drink.

Aspire to remember. We teach ourselves what we need to know. The use of mnemonic or association tactics can be helpful, but be careful. Remembering that “Mr. Harrison has no hair” may result in you calling him Mr. Baldwin. A concrete reference made on a business card and frequently reviewed solidifies the information with the person.

Want to connect. We need people. Barbara Strisand sang that “people who need people are the luckiest people in the world.” One of my philosophies is that I want to connect with everyone I meet. Whether for a moment, a season or a lifetime, I choose to put the person into my quality world.

Networking is a necessity in finding and retaining customers and resources. Relax and enjoy yourself. Go with the attitude of making friends and let the positive results just happen.