Realistic Thinking

We live in the limits of our own thinking. Your perception is your reality; only it may not be really real. The answers you give are not necessarily facts; they are simply your interpretation of the situation as you see them. However, your perceptions and beliefs have a powerful impact on both the present and your future. Your direction is dependent upon your perception. Here are some thoughts on how to reframe pre-conceived perceptions.

It’s Fixable. I am all for positive thinking and make it a continual practice. However, it takes more than seeing the glass as half full as opposed to half empty. Realistic thinking sees the glass not as either-or, but as capable of being filled to the brim or completely emptied as the need dictates.

Be Thankful Thus Far. Soren Kierkegaard observed that “life is lived forward and understood backward”. It has taken the trials, triumphs and tragedies thus far to get you where you are now. Use every experience as a learning tool to see what needs to be repeated and what needs to be adjusted or avoided.

Address it with compassion. In trying circumstances, have compassion on those difficult people. The crucified Jesus prayed, “Father forgive them, they do not know what they are doing.” You may wish to argue that he does most certainly know what he is doing. But do we really know the extent of our actions? Adopting an attitude of caring – for them and for you – gives grace to handle the situation with calm.

Yes, You Can. A life-long slacker in transitional housing was forced to get a job or be kicked out. After rejection and discouragement, he honestly looked at how he was presenting himself to prospective employers. On the fifteen-day-deadline, he was hired.

Two weeks later he was a changed man. He said, “All my life I have been a screw-up. You made me get a job and now I have a ‘can do’ attitude.” And you can too.

Grow into the New. Studies show that practicing grateful thinking makes people more energetic and enthusiastic. At the above-mentioned transitional housing residents are tested for drugs. Some are incensed. Change your view. Instead of seeing it as a controlling act, view it as your opportunity to prove you are living a clean life. See any accountability – forced or not - as a way to show you are responsible.

The importance of the way you perceive life is that people seek out experiences that reinforce their beliefs. If you believe yourself to be stupid you will see a wise choice as a fluke. Regardless of what you are facing it is within your power to choose your responses. You have 100% control over your thinking and attitudes. You can be grumpy, miserable and hateful or you can reframe to see things in a different light.

Mona Dunkin, Motivational Speaker, Corporate Trainer and Personal Success Coach of Solution Principles, specializes in maximum people development. Contact Mona at 254-749-6594 or mdunkin@flash.net Read past articles at www.monadunkin.blogspot.com