There's A Song In the Air

The Holidays are here. Makes you want to sing, doesn’t it.

What a wonderful season, full of love, joy, peace and busyness and mystery. A one-time event that is cyclable, filled with diversity, yet yearly offering us something we hadn’t noticed before.

If we are paying attention.

In Sunday’s comics of LuAnn by Greg Evans, she was preparing her classroom for the Holiday Season by writing “Merry Christmas” on the white board. A child entered and said, “We celebrate Hanukkah”. Luann added Hanukkah to the board. Another mentioned, “We celebrate Kwanzaa”. The conversation continued - as well as additions to the board - to include Omisoka, Muslim festivities, Winter Solstice and Seasons Greetings.

Luann’s final entry was “PEACE!!!”.

Does the above-mentioned comic strip bring peace to you? Or do you identify with the bold print and the three exclamation points? What is this world coming to?

I find peace. Wait! Before you quit reading, let me explain.

The Christmas message IS peace. And love and joy. But how do we find those attributes if we don’t understand the meaning of the words? I think of Jacob, our founding spiritual forefather, and his life trials and weird dream of a ladder with angels ascending and descending. When he awakened, he was afraid and confused. He looked around and said, “God was here all the time and I didn’t know it.”

Then Jacob did something even more weird. He anointed a rock and proclaimed that dream holy and that place holy. Then he rolled up his stuff and continued his known, yet unknown journey. (Genesis 12)

Jacob transcended. He began to think different thoughts about his family and his God and his complicated life-journey. Does God really love a cheat like me? Can I have peace even though I have an angry brother who wants to kill me? Is truth actually written on my wisdom heart? Is joy possible when I am only concerned about me and my? What else do I know that I don’t know that I know?

In watching Christmas movies and seeing advertisements, they seem to be more about Santa and gift than the Christ child. Yet in the background there is a song in the air. A song of a Holy Night. A Song of Joy to the World. Music moves us in mysterious ways. I find the message of a God who IS love - unconditional love. The God who birthed a son like Himself. One who loves us for no good reason. One who loves us with no expectations in return

One who empowers us to transcend, to grow, to love, to rise above.

What a wonderful season, full of love, joy, peace and mystery. A one-time event that is cyclable, filled with diversity, yet yearly offering us something we hadn’t noticed before.

Pay attention. Listen to the music. Harken to the short messages from your heart. Love. Forgive. Be kind. Overlook snarks. Move past regrets. Let it go. Sing.

We are in the midst of who we are and who we are becoming. As we are open to love and forgiveness, the Christmas message of peace and love is birthed in our hearts.

Christmas Traditions

 

We had a wonderful Christmas and I am excited about 2017 being the best year yet.  I say that every year and it keeps happening. Life just gets better and better. 

For the first time this Christmas we went to our daughter's in DeSoto. In thinking about it ahead of time it seemed a little sad to break tradition and not have she and John and our five grandchildren here.  I love a full house brimming with laughter and activity.

It turned out wonderfully.  On the 24^th I had the privilege of helping her cook and host a sing for family and neighbors.  We ate and sang Christmas songs from A-Z while my grandson played the piano.  Christmas morning was church then we - as a family - delivered meals - 11 total - to the home bound in the Dallas  inner city.  It was wonderful. And the start of a new tradition. 

Old memories are wonderful and new ones keep adding to the joy of a growing family.  

Improved Relationships

May these Improved Relationship suggestions add to the holiness of the Holiday Season.

“But I’m doing the best I can.” Even though tempted to use that excuse, my self-awareness, social understanding and spiritual consciousness prods me until I get honest in defining my part of the problem and seeking effective solutions. Though we may think we are doing the best we can in the moment,on honest reflection we can see improvements for the next time.

Look at your own history. Do you have a string of rocky/broken relationships, unsatisfactory jobs, contention with authority, stressful living and overall lack of happiness and success? Do not joust at windmills trying to fix everyone else. Look at the common denominator – you.

As the TV commercial suggests, pointing out a problem is not enough. Look for your underlying motive through reflection and find solutions through trial and error. The path includes honest thought, sincere planning, decision making, willingness to sacrifice and unassuming action.

Questioning your hidden agenda is a good place to start. There is faith in honest doubt. Will you meet your belonging need by following the crowd or be true to your authentic self by heeding your the still small voice? And you must become quiet to hear it.

Conscious is an inward knowing of right from wrong with a compulsion to do what is right. One’s life purpose includes doing what is best for you and, by default, it is also best for others. We are all connected and our lives enter-twine.

Be responsible for your thoughts and your actions. Placing blame somewhere else puts the situation outside yourself and causes one to think the fix is up to him/her. When we identify our part of the problem and take responsibility for our thoughts, our attitude and our actions, then we have something we can work with.

That is not to say that we work independently. I/we messed this us. I/we are each responsible to some degree. I/we need course correction. The thing is, the only one over whom we have control is the “I” portion, not the “we” factor(s). To take personal responsibility results in empowerment. You have found the one and only locus of control.

life is about need verses need. Once you make the decision to quit blaming and to take responsibility for your part, the atmosphere mysteriously softens and the seeming opponent is placed in a more comfortable position to follow your lead.

The greatest threat to taking back your own life is comparing yourself with others and deeming self as having fallen short. This leads to following the crowd and participating in group think. It becomes a self-depreciating way that leads to stagnation and conflict (with you more than them).

Understand the necessity of self-imposed limits. I define responsibility as “having ability to determine how to respond”. It is through discipline that we move from dissatisfaction to hopeful. Placing limits leads to fulfillment.

Don’t Cope, Overcome: Flourish and overcome by really doing the best you can. Think it through, make a choice, act upon your decision and relish the feel good results. Your life is a gift worth receiving (or taking back).

Overcoming Holiday Stress

We are a nation of stressors and the holidays seem to exacerbate the condition. My definition of stress is “living outside your resources.” Use these thoughts to keep your balance and enjoy the festivities of the season.

Maintain structured routine. Mental and physical involvement in the tasks of the day can keep your mind off worries and provide a feeling of accomplishment. Keep the to-do list within the scope of your energy and resources.

Build your faith. Numerous studies show the connection between religious practices and the positive impact on health. Belief in a Higher Power boosts spirits and gives life purpose and meaning. Find the true meaning of the holiday celebrations – family, thanks, relationship, joy, goodwill and peace.

Do something absurd and out of the ordinary. Laugh. Make yourself smile and give a few forced “ha ha’s”. Works doesn’t it. Keep it going by remembering an amusing incident and relate it to a friend. Read the comics out loud in a dramatic fashion with made-up voices.

Make room for moments of joy and pleasure. Listen to music; sing along and dance. Take a short brisk walk and revel in the beauty of the outdoors. Savor a small bite of a forbidden treat. Look through a picture album and relieve cherished memories. Spend time with a child and really listen to his/her magic wishes.

Get things in perspective. Imagine that everything is gone. You are all alone in the middle of nowhere. You have no family, no home, no job and nothing to celebrate. Do you have the picture? Do you feel sad and empty? Now, all of a sudden, you get everything back. Don’t you feel rich? Don’t you feel loved? Aren’t you glad for the holidays?

Find the magic of pets. Pets have been proven to be stress reducers. They make understanding companions, help combat loneliness, reduce blood pressure and their playful antics bring smiles. So stroke the cat, pat the puppy or watch the fish and allow you stress to melt away.

We are made for community and we have a need to serve. Keep the entertaining simple. Keep spending within your income. Bask in the comity of family and friends. Make time for quiet reflection. Allow the joy of the holidays to embrace you and see the revelry of by-gone days become afresh.

Our U. S. Heritage and Thanksgiving

I visited with a Russian immigrant and mentioned our upcoming Thanksgiving Holiday. He attested that America is special in so many ways and how appropriate for her citizenry to have a yearly holiday devoted to being thankful.

Of all the holidays, Thanksgiving is my favorite as it is the only one that remains unmarred by crass commercialism. It is a special time for us as a nation to pause and reflect on the things for which we are thankful. In spite of the recent destruction life and property by storms and other issues of unrest, there is much to be thankful for.

With the exception of the American Indian, all of us have our roots in other soil. We are all children of immigrants from oppressed countries who came to this land in search of freedom. One of the greatest freedoms sought is religious freedom.

The Pilgrims withstood hardships and seemingly insurmountable odds to come to a land and establish freedom of worship. The freedom to worship. The freedom to worship God according to the convictions of your one’s own heart, not according to the dictates of a church state.

Still today there continues to be a mass worldwide exodus of people leaving established homes in search of freedom. The freedom to be safe. The freedom to be educated. The freedom to worship.

As a child I learned Emma Lazarus’s poem that is inscribed at the base of the Statue of Liberty.

                   “Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breath free.
                     Send these, the homeless, tempest tossed to me.
                     I life my lamp beside the golden doors.”

In spite of the destruction of life and property in recent storms we can always be thankful for what we have left. We can renew our appreciation for what has been, what is and what is yet to come. Renew an appreciation to value people and our homes as never before. A renewed appreciation to value the wonderful gift of life and to take nothing - and no one - for granted.

A renewed love for our neighbor – no matter the color, age, size or cultural. And to realize our neighbor is global. A renewed appreciation for the infinite worth and value of each individual - including yourself.

O Lord, that lends me life, lend me a heart replete with thankfulness.

William Shakespeare

A thankful heart is not only the greatest virtue, but the parent of all other virtues. Cicero

NEED A SPEAKER: Mona Dunkin is a Motivational Speaker, Corporate Trainer and Personal Success Coach. Contact her at mona@monadunkin.com 254-749-6594

America, Bless God

We have just celebrated another of America’s birthday with song, festivities and fire works. Most of us chime in with “God Bless America”, verbally as well as in chorus. And he has. And he does. And may he continue to bless our great country.

Francis Scott Key ended all four stanzas of The Star Spangled Banner with either a question of or a declaration for “the land of the free, and the home of the brave.”

Advertisers are apt at turning a phrase so a different slant sheds different intent. Or insight, as the case may be. I love the flag magnet on my refrigerator with the saying “Home of the free because of the brave.” I equally love the poster proclaiming “Home of the brave because we are free.” All three statements have a ring of truth. All three slants are meaningful.

All things in life are mysteriously, albeit intricately connected.

Being blessed is contingent upon blessing; blessing is subject to being blessed, and so forth and so on over and over again. Our forefathers blessed America as a country hallowed for freedom of religion, a place in which free enterprise can flourish, where all people are to be treated equally and established a government in which all of her citizens have a voice.

What if we, as Americans, on this “land that we love” and “from sea to shining sea” were to make it our mission to bless God? How can we, individually and collectively, bless God?

We bless God through acts of human kindness:
To self. Take care of you; it’s a very loving thing to do.
To others. Everyone is carrying a heavy load.
To those we know. They really are pretty special and need a little TLC.
To strangers. We are more alike than we are different; compassion goes a long way.

We bless God by choosing to be respectful to others while simultaneously behaving in a way that earns respect from them. Respect looks different to each of us. Focus on earning respect rather than deserving it.

We bless God by welcoming the “huddled masses yearning to breath free,” by valuing diversity and having a willingness to appreciate and incorporate differences. Most of us American born citizens have our ancestral roots in other soil.

We bless God by respecting planet earth. Go green. Reduce. Reuse. Recycle. Live within your income. Conserve natural resources. Replenish fallow land. History confirms that a broken land begets a broken people.

We bless God by having a thankful spirit. Being thankful in all things. Being thankful for all things. Not because on the surface all things are worthy of thanks, but because we become a happier and more productive person when we look for something in the situation for which to be thankful.

Be thankful, because of and in spite of.

IN SPITE OF…

Life, in spite of difficulties, is good.

Parents, in spite of their flaws, are honorable.

Mates, in spite of their differences, are blessings.

Children, in spite of the frustrations, are rewards.

Work, in spite of the hassle, is a gift.

Victory, in spite of the defeats, is sweet.

© Mona Dunkin 1986

America, in spite of her flawed inhabitants, is “the land that we love.”

A Progressive Holiday Blessing

The Christmas Season is a time for joy and peace and goodwill to all men. Unfortunately for some it is a time of sadness; not only on a personal scale but also with family tension of togetherness. May these thoughts bless you, not just today, but progressively, on and on, again and again, forever.

Life is too short to hold on to grudges, stress or anything that weighs heavy on your mind and heart.

And too long.

We live in a fast paced society and seem to want everything instantly. Yet character is developed over time and by going through difficulties. Struggles have the ability to forge qualities in us such as patience, compassion, humor and moral fiber. 　

Lower emotions such as fear, anger or stress damage your nervous system. Higher emotions such as love, courage and forgiveness repairs, heals and energizes every system in your body.

Prepare your heart – or a special place of your choosing – to be the location where you exchange and transform lower emotions into higher ones. 　Make this special spot internally as your emotional recycle center. Give permission to your body, mind and soul to be the healing place it is designed to be.

Light dispels darkness. Truth weakens the shadow side. Breathe in the white light of truth and feel it permeate every cell, tissue, system and muscle in your body. Let the white light of truth goes as deep, as broad and as expansive as you can imagine.

Expose darkness to the light and be healed physically, emotionally, relationally and spiritually. The quality of your thoughts determines the quality of your actions.

Allow the following Progressive Blessing to be instrumental in effecting transformation.

May you awaken each morning filled with excitement over a new day.
May you eagerly taste the deliciousness of life.
May you revel in challenges presented and humbly triumph.
May heaven shower you with love, joy, mercy, compassion and faith to overflowing.
May you be overcome by the awe of a sacred moment.
May you embrace change and see it as the life-giving force that it is.
May you be healed of poverty, lack, intimidation, or anything that keeps you bound.
May you be released from unforgiveness, anxiety, or whatever that may keep you stuck.
May you allow God to love you and to bless you.
May you receive the gift of yourself.
May you be free from fear, doubt, scarcity and be empowered to risk success.
May you be encompassed by peace in the midst of turbulence.
May you experience restful sleep and pleasant dreams.
May your last thought of the day be one of profound, yet simple, “Thanks”.
© Mona Dunkin 2008

Thanks Be To God

Life is filled with tension. What to do, not to do? What is too much, not enough? Knowing, not knowing, not caring. Emotional highs and lows and joys and disappointments – all at the same time.

Thank be to God for this Holy Easter Holiday that teaches us to die to live.

At the risk of being self-righteous, I share my Lenten sacrifice. This is a first for me. I am sad to say it had never seemed that important in preparation for Easter. How blind I have been. We must choose to be awake to receive the Son-rise.

At the risk of being petty, I choose to forgo the 2PM-4PM-half-price-drinks-run to Sonic. This is a habit I have fallen into that has taken on a life of its own. At 1:30 in the afternoon – I don’t want to miss it - my attention is drawn to the senses.

Everything is spiritual. How is it that denying the self can be as fulfilling as satisfying the self? Lent is not about the ego-self (edging God out) but the true-self (centering God in). Self-control is an essential part of the spiritual life. As the appetite is tamed the soul flourishes.

This iota of surrender is making an enormous shift in my thinking. My afternoon attention is being refocused from Dr. Pepper to the Great Physician. My thirst is being translated from soda pop to Living Waters. And in the process every sense is becoming sharper. God’s silence speaks volumes and my stillness listens and my wisdom heart hears.

How many times does God speak and we do not hear for our spiritual ear is dulled by the illusionary pleasures and pains of life? In The Liturgical Year, Sister Joan Chittister relates the story of a disciple who heard a voice calling, “Who is there?” Sensing a holy moment, she replied, “It is I, Lord.” But there was only silence.

Years later she again heard the voice and again she answered, “It is I, Lord. It is I.” But there was only silence.

In later years, the voice called a third time, “Who is there?”

This time she answered, “It is You, Lord, only You.”

Apostle Paul expressed it as decreasing so that God might increase. Diane Bardwell sings, “Ever dying into You am I, until there is only You.”

Living, dying; growing, overcoming, it's all, "Thanks be to God." 

mona@monadunkin.com

Waiting for Christmas

December – the ending of the old year and awaiting the new-year; anticipating 2013 to be filled with new dreams, new goals and new hopes. Even while we celebrate newness, a new year means another birthday. We grow older but not necessarily wiser. We grow physically but not necessarily spiritually.

In the Christian tradition, December is the season of Advent. A time of waiting and a time of preparing ourselves to celebrate, not just the event of Christmas, but the revelation of God’s amazing love given to mankind in the simplicity of a babe in the manger.

“Let every heart prepare him room…” Isaac Watts, Joy to the World

Christmas makes innkeepers of all of us by asking us to make room for the King of kings.

In addition to “Joy to the World”, Isaac Watts (1674-1748) is credited with having written 750 hymns, scores that continue to be sung today and have been translated into many languages. The message of his lyrics is deep and mystical. It has been said of his work that “many know not the meaning of the words they sing.”

Advent is a time to consider the wisdom of the ages handled down in tradition and celebration. To see how the story of hope and joy and peace is played out in our holidays (holy days). It is a time to use outward preparation as a springboard to reflect on internal meaning and significance.

Listen to the words of our songs and the melody of our hearts for continuity.

It came without ribbons. It came without tags.

It came without packages, boxes or bags.

And he puzzled and puzzled ‘till his puzzler was sore.

Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn’t before.

“What if Christmas” he thought, “doesn’t come from a store?

What if Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more?”

Dr. Seuss, The Grinch Who Stole Christmas

Let us today make room for the true meaning of Christmas, by welcoming the Christ-child into our lives and our homes.

I took me awhile to warm to the idea of getting spiritually ready for Christmas. I hesitate to admit that I thought I was spiritually ready. Getting ready started the year I heeded the conviction to remove all secular reminders from my decorations, cards and speech. I gladly admit now that each season is a time to further ponder that Christmas “means a little bit more”.

Although there may still be much to do – cleaning, baking, decorating, gifting, celebrating – ‘Yes’ as a matter of fact I am ready for Christmas. At lease spiritually, which is, after all, what the season is about.

Let me hear from you. mona@solutionprinciples.com

The Mystery of Christmas

The Christmas holiday celebrates yet another difficult-to-understand-concept of God’s working in human affairs. Famed newscaster Paul Harvey told a story of the incarnate Christ that is worthy of reflection.

A man did not believe in all the hum-bug of Christmas. He reasoned that if God was so powerful why visit planet earth in human form at all, much less as a weak baby.

One bitter cold Christmas Eve the man’s family went to a local church to worship. The man sat home in front of his warm fireplace as the lights from their Christmas tree shown through the plate glass window. He was startled by a crashing sound against the window.

Going outside, he found a little bird dead in the snow. Apparently the bird was attempting to fly into the warm room and met his fate against the cold glass. The man saw other birds shivering in the nearby trees and got an idea.

He opened the garage door so the bird could fly inside and be out of the gusty wind. The man waited. The birds did not come inside. He beckoned to the birds that it was safe. The birds still did not come in. He sprinkled bird food leading from outside into the safe garage. Still, the birds did not come inside.

The man thought, “If somehow I could just become a bird for a few minutes, I would fly among them, chirp their language and then show them that the garage is a safe haven.”

As the man was thinking these thoughts, the Christmas bells chimed to celebrate the birth of baby Jesus. He fell to his knees. “Oh God, now I understand. You spoke from heaven and the people thought it was thunder. You sent prophets and they did not heed. You choose to become man to show the way.”

As a human being, what capabilities did the man have? If he could have become a bird, what limitations would he have? Human knowledge may have been retained, but as a bird the range of abilities were severely constrained.

When things are hard to understand, human nature comes up with something even more difficult to comprehend – a fat man in a red suit visiting every home in the world in one enchanted evening. May you embrace the life-changing love and mystery of Christmas.

Please share your thoughs. I love hearing your insights.

We welcome reprinting of articles in your newsletter or magazine, providing credit is given as follows: “This article was written by Mona Dunkin, Motivational Speaker and Personal Success Coach, www.monadunkin.blogspot.com or www.monadunkin.com.”

Building Memories

 

 

“The memories we share today become more magical tomorrow.”

Infinity car commercial

 

Memories evoke scattered pictures of the past – some pleasant, some not so much so. Although memories are emotionally based, they take hold serendipitously; out of those times spent together.   

 

Our memories are selective. My siblings and I are so dissimilar my sister-in-law declares we each must have been reared in different families.  Before death claimed two brothers, the four of us, plus our spouses, gathered together monthly to dine, reminisce and enjoy each other’s company.  Regardless of who shared a memory, there seemed to be four distinct responses to said account:

• One viewed it as a cherished moment, giving grand details and quoting dialog
• One saw it as a source of irritation and was ready to debate the topic or dismiss it
•  Another could not remember the incident at all
•  And yet another remembered it happening but it was no big deal.

 We are masters at constructing the boundaries of our reality. According to Psychiatrists William Glasser, all we can ever receive from our environment is information. Information gets into our brains through a filtering system comprised of our five senses. When information passes us by, it is because it did not merit our filter test as being important. When the information is received it activates a response of pleasant, unpleasant or neutral. 

 

Memories come to bear in random fashion activated by current information received by one or more of our five senses. When I walked into Mrs. Mathias’s dining room of cherry mahogany, I was instantly transported back to my wonder years of Sunday dinners at grandmother’s huge table.  Since memories are random events set in motion through sight, sound, smell, taste and touch, I have chosen not to organize my collection of pictures and memorabilia but to view them unsystematically.   

 

The teaching that life is an illusion is a mystical principle. We can lose our power by believing something is “real” or “unreal” when, in fact, it is one’s perception of the matter. Be careful about programmed memorable times together so they do not become too stressful. When tension is there to force making a pleasant memory, it may backfire.

Although we are complicated individuals, truth be told, life is simple. It is about enjoying the moment and one another. Now that is a memory builder. (9/23/12 388)

 

Contact Mona at 254-749-6594 or mona@solutionprinciples.com