An Attitude Shift

In Science 101 we learned the structure of atoms. The nucleus of the atom contains a mix of positively charged protons along side of neutrally charged neutrons. Surrounding the nucleus of the atom is a cloud of negatively charged electrons.

Everything inside the nucleus of the atom is positive or neutral. Everything swirling around the nucleus of the atom is negative. I suggest the core of our God-given humanity is to be positive or neutral. But, like the atom, the world-swirl surrounding us is negatively charged.

The negatively charged electrons affect the structure of things. Science continually discovers new mysteries of the atom; seeing as true things never imagined (i.e. an atom can occupy two spaces at the same time).

Insight is a mysterious function that makes a huge difference in the way we view things. Insight can transform the negative into neutral or positive. Insight gives meaning in the midst of the negative swirl of life.

You are not as unhappy as you might think you are. You are in charge of your own happiness. Trying to parlay it to others is futile – as in expecting someone else to make you happy. They can contribute to your enjoyment of life, but you alone make yourself happy. It is done through finding inner joy even in the midst of difficulties.

Not all my needs have gone unmet. From the day of my birth until this present moment I have been surrounded by love (whether I recognized it or not). I have been nurtured and cared for. I (we) have had adequate - actually more than adequate - food, shelter, protection, supplies, money; the things we often mistake as necessities of life. How about you? Are your needs as unmet as your down-days project?

All we can give or receive is information. Receive information at face value without construing hidden agendas. Only give information that is truthful, respectful and for the good of all.

It is okay to not know. We are finite individuals and the scope of information is unfathomable. The more we learn about humanity, technology, space, minerals and on and on the greater the knowledge disparity grows. Over and above what we know is the expanse of our imaginations.

Choose to not be offended by disagreements. In any given exchange one brings to the table the totality of his life experiences. Are there UFO’s? What about life after death? How did they build the pyramids? There are too many variables – real and imagined - to be upset by one’s slant of the subject. Regardless of the view taken, his worth as a human being is neither diminished nor added to. When one is right or wrong, that is all s/he gets to be (not superior or inferior).

Be open to life. In childlike wonder embrace shifts with “Oh, yeah, I don’t know why I didn’t see that before?” Epiphany is an intuitive leap of understanding brought about through ordinary but striking occurrence. Epiphany is the awareness of the Divine at work in and through the mundane of life.

The law of gravity holds sway over all of us. Drag is the force that opposes movement through water or holds you down from jumping. It takes lift and thrust to overcome pull and drag. Not only can it be triumphed in aviation but also in our thinking.

Have a shift in attitude by attending Take Charge of Your Life Seminar at Central Texas College, Killeen, TX.  Take Charge of Your Life, Fall 2016, Page 6

Getting Our Needs Met

Relationships are about need vs. need. Healthy relationships give and receive for the good of the whole. When your need is being frustrated by his need (and vice-versa) the key to maintain harmony is in learning to be responsive rather than reactive. 

 

You may ask, "But HOW?"

 

I love when people ask the question. If we try to give an answer before the question is being asked, no matter how wise our words, it falls on weak ears.  Let's start with the solution before we address the problem. 

 

Solution:  Start your day by choosing to invest time to set yourself up to have a great rest of the day. Making time to 'pray it forward' is enough to guarantee that you will be in charge of your thoughts throughout the day.  And, after all it is our thoughts that produce our emotions. A few minutes of sincere meditation/prayer gives you a different nervous system for the entire day.

 

Problem:  The content of our thinking produces our receptivity. The cells of our body have two modes, and one and only one mode operates at a time. Our cells are either open for growth or closed for defense.  By going into defense mode one compromises the optimal function of his/her nervous, endocrine and autoimmune systems.  Not only does defensiveness harm relationships, it harms you physically, emotionally and spiritually. 

 

Our thoughts produce our emotions.  So listen to what you are thinking because that is what is stirring up your emotions.  When you set the condition of me against you, you ironically set the conditions for you to be against yourself. It’s called “destroying your own house”.  

 

It is more about you than it is about them. There may be some truth to thinking that the situation will get better when the other person changes but it is not an absolute truth. How so? A person may genuinely be making strides (clumsy and inept) to cooperate but as long as we look at their actions through our angry glasses, we will fail to appreciate their effort and misjudge their intent and disregard their point. Even if our basic need is being met we neglect to notice.   

The progress s/he makes is in keeping with his innate gifting which is often different than the way we would do things.  Irony: opposites attract. We are drawn to someone whose strength compliments our weakness. We are repelled by that same someone when she does not measure up to our expectations.

But what if he never changes?  Then we have to decide if it is a deal breaker or not. If it is a not a deal breaker then look inside for your own answers.  Sometimes for the good of the whole we have to lower our expectations.  That is not to throw a wet blanket on hope; it is to dampen unrealistic expectations.  Assertive is making a request without demanding it.  

Honesty with self promotes personal growth. Every day you have a chance to set into motion positive changes in your relationships. It’s like the disgruntled office worker said when she began to appreciate her job and her co-workers, “These people around here sure have changed!” 

Maybe the Golden Rule really does work.  Respond to others in a respectful manner and give room to grow into reciprocating in kind out of their own human dignity.  Negotiate – give and receive - for the good of the whole. 

Again, you may ask, “But HOW?” 

Answer: Graciously. In the Bible verse, "God's grace is sufficient" the verb "is" is a past/present/future reality. As in…

        Past: God's grace was sufficient yesterday I just chose to say, "No thanks, I'll handle this myself, thank you anyway!" 

 

        Present: God's grace is sufficient today (right this second) and is a reality awaiting my acceptance and employment. 

 

       Future: God's grace will be present tomorrow or next week or whenever it is needed. 

 

There is always a current supply of grace to us and through us; grace can be refused or used but it cannot be horded or stored up. Like the manna in the wilderness saved grace becomes stale. Grace is delivered fresh, toasty warm and sweet smelling from God's outpost within you.  Receive it. Share it. Bask in the needs-fulfilling nourishment it gives in all relationships. 

 

Needs, Needs, We All Have Needs

 

“Go internal to find the eternal.”  Sargent Shriver

 

All of us are searching for the spiritual qualities of meaning, significance, and purpose.  We use tangible things as a way of determining that we have found these illusive intangibles. But you cannot compare apples to oranges. They are alike – both fruit - but are not the same – succulent and acidic.    

 

We are spiritual beings on a human journey. The limitations, demands and perceptions of this human life often cause us to lose sight of just how spiritual we are. 

 

So who are you? We are the columniations of generations past that came together into one tiny embryo to make you, you. Certain needs have been encoded into us. Among those is the need to survive; to live and keep on living. This is the need for food, air, light, water, shelter, protection, exercise and other things that keep us alive and healthy. It is done by obeying the rules of the road and staying safe.

 

We also have psychological needs, not just to survive but also to thrive. They include:

 

Love and Belonging: This is the need to fit in and to get along well with others, especially the people important to you. This is done through family, friends, cooperation, and involvement, caring and connecting.

 

Purpose: This is the need to feel important and to be appreciated for what we do. It is done through confidence in who you are, using your gifts and talents to benefit mankind,  being heard and understood, accomplishments, service and in giving and receiving of respect.

 

Enjoyment:  This is the need to laugh and be happy. This is done through learning, relaxing, appreciating and looking for the good in all situations. Being entertained plays a small part in enjoying life.

 

Freedom: This is the need to make your own decisions and to feel good about the outcome. It is done by thinking things through and making a wise decision.

 

Spiritual: This is the need for a connection with others-past and present - and with a higher power. It is that something that makes your heart soar. This is done through meditation, worship and in finding meaning and purpose in life.

 

And it is okay to have those needs met.  Only sometimes they are pacified - not genuinely met – in ways that are detrimental to us physically as well as spiritually. The spiritual part of life is what makes the material part of life take on meaning. Go internal to find the answer to that riddle; it’s there. 

 

Need a Life Coach?  Contact Mona at 254-749-6594 or mona@monadunkin.com   

 

May your spirituality bloom and grow.

An Attitude Shift

In Science 101 we learned the structure of atoms. The nucleus of the atom contains a mix of positively charged protons along side of neutrally charged neutrons. Surrounding the nucleus of the atom is a cloud of negatively charged electrons. Everything inside the nucleus of the atom is positive or neutral. Everything swirling around the nucleus of the atom is negative. I suggest the core of our God-given humanity is to be positive or neutral. But, like the atom, the world-swirl surrounding us is negatively charged.

The negatively charged electrons affect the structure of things. Science continually discovers new mysteries of the atom; seeing as true things never imagined (i.e. an atom can occupy two spaces at the same time).

Insight is a mysterious function that makes a huge difference in the way we view life. Insight can transform the negative into neutral or positive. Insight gives meaning and purpose in the midst of the negative swirl of life.

You are not as unhappy as you might think you are. You are in charge of your own happiness. Trying to parlay it to others is futile – as in expecting someone else to make you happy. They can contribute to your enjoyment of life, but you alone make yourself happy. It is done through finding inner joy even in the midst of difficulties.

Not all my needs have gone unmet. From the day of my birth until this present moment I have been surrounded by love (whether I recognized it or not). I have been nurtured and cared for. I (we) have had adequate - actually more than adequate - food, shelter, protection, supplies, money; the things we often mistake as necessities of life. How about you? Are your needs as unmet as your down-days project?

All we can give or receive is information. Receive information at face value without construing hidden agendas. Only give information that is truthful, respectful and for the good of all.

It is okay to not know. We are finite individuals and the scope of information is unfathomable. The more we learn about humanity, technology, space, minerals and on and on the greater the knowledge disparity grows. Over and above what we know is the expanse of our imaginations.

Choose to not be offended by disagreements. In any given exchange one brings to the table the totality of his life experiences. Are there UFO’s? What about life after death? How did they build the pyramids? There are too many variables – real and imagined - to be upset by one’s slant of the subject. Regardless of the view taken, his worth as a human being is neither diminished nor added to. When one is right or wrong, that is all s/he gets to be (not superior or inferior).

Be open to life. In childlike wonder embrace shifts with “Oh, yeah, I don’t know why I didn’t see that before?” Epiphany is an intuitive leap of understanding brought about through ordinary but striking occurrence. Epiphany is the awareness of the Divine at work in and through the mundane of life.

The law of gravity holds sway over all of us. Drag is the force that opposes movement through water or holds you down from jumping. It takes lift and thrust to overcome pull and drag. Not only can it be triumphed in aviation but also in our thinking.

Thanks for reading. Please leave a comment.

Addressing Anger Issues

Encounters with others is always need vs. need that can result in anger producing situations. The primary need in addressing anger is to be responsive rather than reactive. Respond to the need rather than react to the imposition (demand, offensive behavior, rotten personality).

Be proactive by investing time each morning to set yourself up for a great day. Personally, if I do not invest meditation time in the morning I am much less capable of being the person I want to be for the rest of the day.

There is an endless supply of all that is necessary to become whole. Take five minutes and pray it forward. Five minutes in the morning spent in meditation is enough to guarantee that God will be in charge of your thoughts throughout the day, to convince or to commend but never to condemn. Serious meditation in the morning gives you a different nervous system for the entire day; a nervous system that exchanges and transforms alchemy.

Anger is not necessarily situational. The situation triggers a stuck emotion and goes directly to the ego where the false sense of self takes over. Anger emerges at inappropriate times when issues have not previously been addressed and settled. Wayne Dyer defines ego as “Edging God Out”. To the ego, pain is a peak experience. Emotions are powerful; powerfully destructive when ego driven.

What you are angry about is really something you want to cry over. Or something you want to be protected from (something that scares you). Anger manifests when ones nervous system does not have an area for lower emotions to be transformed into higher emotions. Just as the lungs inhale carbon dioxide and exhales carbon monoxide, so too the heart can be prepared to be an exchange system from acting out in anger to assertively setting appropriate boundaries.

Light dispels darkness. Truth weakens the shadow side. Recognize what takes you to anger, fear or cynicism. Look behind that. Look for: “What am I really scared of?” “What is behind my sadness? “What is the issue behind my self-doubting?”

Failure to take darkness to the light is a failure to survive. Taking the darkness to the light is a very spiritual journey. When light dispels the darkness you are in a compassionate position to “be angry and sin not”. Light strengthens the immune system. You can get angry enough not to take it anymore and to stand up for self (and others) in a meek yet powerfully loving way.

"Be angry and sin not. Do not let the sun go down on your wrath,

neither give place to the devil." Ephesians 4:26-17

“The devil is in the detail.” The proverb above seems to suggest that you have twenty-four hours to settle it. Otherwise the devil gets involved and the anger simmers and thickens and gets hotter and hotter. Settling is multi-faceted. We’ll look at that in future articles.