Random Acts of Faith

There is universal encouragement to perform Random Acts of Kindness. Do something nice for someone that is unexpected and unplanned. Make their day. Or at least add a little joy. 

I suggest we also incorporate random acts of faith. As in trusting that your child does respect you. Believing that your life choices were based on good reasoning. Imagining that ‘we the people’ are getting it (kindness, love, appreciation of differences). 

Civil Rights leader, John Lewis, said the question he was asked the most is, “How did you do it? How were you peaceful and kind in the face of so much violence?” 

John Lewis’s reply? “Faith. Faith has power. It often does not become meaningful until it is tested by a challenge that we may not survive. It is then that we experience how transformative our capacity to believe truly is.” 

Do you want a transformed life? Practice random acts of faith. When stripped down to the core, life becomes simple. Things that did matter, matter less and things that do matter, matter more.

When looking for corrective measures, it benefits us to look first at self. 

There was friction between me and a co-worker. She said, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to do that.” 

My response was a perfunctory, “Okay”. 

As I walked away, I noticed my critical  thoughts – “if she had only listened, she doesn’t care”. I was placing blame, not letting my okay really be okay. I was not holding her in high regard. 

I turned back to her and said, “You know what. I’m going to believe you. I believe you didn't mean any harm.”

I chose to believe she truly was sorry for her actions and that she did not intend the error.

In a small way I experienced the power of transformative faith. It enabled room for both of us to grow. It allowed me to respond kindly. Overtime I developed a Trifecta of Faith that proves itself over and over. 

Desire + Belief + Awareness = Faith.

Faith is looking forward to something that has not happened yet. And yes, you do have faith. (Have you ever bought a lottery ticket?) Holy Scripture says everyone has been given a ‘measure of faith’. A measure. How much is a measure? Enough. 

Everybody has enough faith to listen to their wisdom heart. You have heard it. It is the guidance that directs you to do the right thing. The gentle voice that does not yell, does not condemn, and does not lead astray. 

Desire + Belief + Awareness = Faith. 

Search your wisdom heart to see who you truly desire to be. Lock into belief that as God planted that desire within you, you can be it. Become aware of hints that the faith seed is growing. Recognize that all encounters are a two-way street. What will you receive from another and what will you leave behind? We mirror each other. Somewhere inside us is their pain. Equally true, somewhere inside us is their joy and their competency. Love yourself and touch everyone with random faith

“Always be on the lookout for the presence of wonder.” E. B. White 

DON’T COPE. OVERCOME. We can never be certain of absolutes. Perception is what we think we see. To us that perception becomes a reality, only it may not be real. Often it is more assumption than viewpoint. Find your true north. In driving, you set your GPS for where you want to go, then follow the directions as they become available. So too by faith. Live by compass, more than a roadmap.

Being a Blessing

Our topic today is being a blessing.

Being in the grammatical sense is a gerund. Which simply means that any time you add ing to a word – any word – it brings it into present tense – the NOW – right this second - that expresses a generalized or uncompleted action. As in “I’m going to the store.” You understand what is happening, but it is an uncompleted action.

I love ironies. One of which is, we cannot give out of an empty basket. We cannot give what we have not received. What have we received? Life. Breath. Gifts. Talents. Love. Because of these free gifts from God, we are able to give and to bless others.

In the book of Acts we have the story of Paul and Silas traveling around telling people about the one true God and his marvelous blessings bestowed on all of us, whether we give him credit for it or not. This God is the one who is always near to us, leading us, guiding us, directing us, loving us, comforting us. In trying to paint a picture of this wonderful invisible God, in poetic form, Paul said, “In Him – in this one true God – we live and move and have our being.” You are an animation of God.

We are all human beings. Beings
• Being - the quality or state of having an existence
• Being - qualities that constitute essence

All of that tells me that we’re not done yet.

You bake a cake for the recommended time and on the surface it looks done, but you stick a toothpick in it, and it’s a little gooey inside. That’s us. No matter how many years we have been in the oven, we’re not done yet.

But, no worries, we are human beings and we’re still learning.

Psychologists tells us that we are most open to learning when we are in love. When we are in love – with a person, a hobby, an adventure - we are open to new information and we willingly take it in and try it out. Being a blessing is not only being thankful and gracious and appreciative; it’s also being and staying in love with life and people and God and yourself.

Who will you re-fall in love with today? Or you could start from scratch and pretend it's for the first time.

Science and technology are discovering many new things daily. But they are not really new. King Solomon said, “There is nothing new under the sun.” There is nothing new under the sun because at creation everything that was destined to be was pre-programmed into the mystery of this universe to come forth “in the fullness of time.” Just like the birth of Christ. Just like the birth of you.

Becoming a Blessing is synonymous with becoming yourself – your true self, your essence - your DNA God-Code self. It’s that simple, and it’s also that difficult. It’s difficult because we too often second guess our self. We listen to our ego instead of our wisdom heart. Wayne Dwyer suggests that ego means “edging God out”.

When I have a not so gracious feeling toward me - and Jesus said I am to love me as I love you, my neighbor - I pause and evaluate: “Even though I burned the pie, I’m still a pretty good cook.” Likewise, when I have a not so gracious feeling toward someone else - and Jesus said I am to love my neighbor as much as I love me - I pause and evaluate: “Just like me, that person is doing the best they can.”

Loving attributes acknowledged. Grace restored.

The Heart-Math Institute says that our heart sends out more neuro transmissions than our brain does. Sadly, those transmissions don’t always reach our brain -- until we prepare our mind to receive the wisdom from our heart. Our heart’s invisible transmissions expand up to a three-feet circumference outside our bodies. It is something we unknowingly transmit whether positive or negative.

So how do we attune our mind to receive the heart’s wisdom? My go-to is the holy language of Scripture.

In the Sermon on the Mount (Matt 5:43-48) Jesus contrasts what we think or what we have heard with what he says. “You have heard it said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate our enemy’, but I say, ‘Love your enemies, do good to them that hate you and pry for them which despitefully use you and persecute you.” He goes on to talk about how good God is to everyone; sending sunshine and rain equally on the righteous as well as the unrighteous. Sending drought and tornados equally on the righteous and the unrighteous – no respecter of persons.

Jesus completed the thought with “Be perfect even as your Father in heaven is perfect.”

A long-time friend of mind has a delightful habit of smiling and giving a nodding approval and openly says “God love it” when someone does something special. She is not speaking to anyone in particular, but the heart-math translation is there.

When someone acts out, she gives an understanding nod and openly says – to no one in particular – “You gotta love ‘em”.

I may want to say, “I most certainly do not ‘gotta love ‘em.” And God gently speaks to my wisdom heart, “Yea, you do. That is, if you really want my kingdom to come to earth, that as above so below.”

Me? Perfect? How? One definition of perfect is “just right for the stage of growth”. An apple seed is a perfect apple, for its stage of growth. The goal is to keep on growing.

I suggest we attune to our wisdom heart by meditating daily for divine favor through the Lord’s Prayer (Luke 11:1-4). “Our Father” …. Pause and think about people groups all over the world, diverse socio economic, intelligence and abilities. Yet they are all our neighbors, and God is their Father. Even if you don’t get past the Our Father part, that can be enough.

We grow into our true essence by realizing that we have enough. “Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof” (Matt 6:31-34) Enough. We have enough. Sometimes we try to be thankful, but it seems difficult because we really focus on lack. I didn’t get enough sleep last night, not enough time, not enough money, not enough energy. …I’m not enough. What we focus on is what we draw to us. Begin to proclaim, "I have enough for today." That mysterious portal of ‘enough’ overflows into natural abundance through creativity, repurposing, thankfulness, generosity, appreciation, celebrating, blessings, accomplishments, good-will.

A wonderful measuring rod of being is III John 2, “May you prosper and be in health even as your soul prospers.” May you prosper – mentally, emotionally, physically, financially, spiritually, relationally – even as your soul prospers. Pause and evaluate. Content yourself by having enough.

All through the book of Philippians, the Apostle Paul admonishes us to be happy, glad and content (enough). This is not Paul in the Penthouse speaking, but Paul in the jailhouse. In all things give thanks. For all things give thanks. “Rejoice in the Lord always….” I can just see him pacing around the prison writing or dictating and searching to bring it to a powerful conclusion…. “And again, I say ‘Rejoice’.” Enough.

I examine my own life and how to be more thankful.

• I am thankful for misunderstandings, because they teach me to strive to be a better communicator
• for criticism, for it forces me to examine actions and attitudes and leads to repentance for failures
• for adversity, because it is in the winter that roots grow deepest to find fresh nourishment
• for financial reverses, because it helps me to be grateful for what we have.
• I am thankful for challenges that taxes every fiber of my being forcing me to grow in new directions.
• I am thankful for dreams, for ideas and for goals, for they keep me active and energetic and alive.
• I am thankful for a contented mind and a grateful heart.

Some may say, “but I don’t have that kind of faith.” Au Contraire! The Scripture says that everyone has been given a ‘measure of faith’. A measure. How much is a measure? Enough.

Everyone has enough faith to listen to their wisdom heart. You know what that is. It’s the inner guidance that directs you to do the right thing. It is the gentle inner voice that does not yell, does not condemn and does not lead astray. Just as everyone of us has been given life, so too have we been given breath for a certain number of days. Breath that breaths us.

God is sometimes seen as being too big, too powerful, too holy, too far away to have anything to do with me. Maybe we have a longing to serve God and others, but first we have to clean our self up.

Don't Cope, Overcome. About 45 years ago God spoke to my confused mind, “Just let me be your friend.” It resonated. I needed a friend. Out loud I said a faint, “okay”. No big deal. But it was a big deal. The friendship took and continues to grow.

May it do the same for you.

Building Families of Strength

I originally entitled this article Strong Families. While writing, I began to see that being strong is an end product, the result of something well-built; the robustness and durability of something nurtured and cared for.

Strength implies potential. Building indicates an ongoing, continuous process that could include remodeling if necessary. Having a solid foundation on which to fall and rebuild upon. Being supportive; not necessarily agreeing with actions but always accepting the individual.

Families of strength are team players. A universal concept of team is a number of people working together on a common task for the good of the whole.

The word origin of team, originally spelled teem, is English meaning offspring. A team is a number of related animals or people (related by working or playing together), and to teem means to be full to overflowing, as with children in a house.” Readers Digest, Family Word Finder

A team participates in giving and receiving. They appreciate differences, enjoy each others company and have fun together.

Families of strength have a faith foundation. They acknowledge a power outside themselves greater than present circumstance that gives purpose to their existence. They play together, work together, worship together, pray together, laugh together, cry together and become involved in helping others.

Families of strength are consistent. There may be rare exceptions, but rules apply across the board, evenly for everyone. The atmosphere of the home is accepting and learning. Disruptions are dealt with in a mature manner. They disagree, get mad, and move past the hurt.

“Our house changed. Our neighborhood changed. I went to a new school. But nothing important really changed…. Though we moved a lot, our essential life stayed the same. Regardless of where we lived, Mom sat by me at night listening to Dick and Jane stories… home and my sense of my family and my place in it were always the same. Mother and Daddy saw to that.”

Naomi Griffith, Red Clay and Vinegar

Families of strength develop open and honest communication. There are no hidden agendas and truth is told even if it hurts or puts self in a bad light. Families of strength listen for understanding rather than to prematurely jump to conclusions and pass undue judgment.

Communication begins at birth with a parent differentiating a hungry cry from an in-pain-cry and continues for a lifetime. Communication is expressed through more than words; tone of voice, facial expressions, body stance and manner of dress speaks volumes.

Families of strength understand that pain is a part of life. Their lives are not disrupted by upheavals. Painful situations are accepted and dealt with. They embrace it as an opportunity on which to learn. Problems are viewed as a challenge in which to grow individually and to grow together corporately.

Suffering is inevitable; transcend it by not being surprised when it happens. Like the Phoenix, families of strength rise from shattered foundations. They adapt. Families of strength overcome with the unit intact.

Families of strength build history together. Successes and failures are uniquely influential in building character. Become aware of the strength of your own family. Notice how well-built it is. Appreciate its robustness and durability as you continue to nurture and care. Embrace the love. 　

For success coaching, counsel or speaking engagements, contact Mona at 254-749-6594 or mona@solutionprinciples.com

Our U. S. Heritage and Thanksgiving

I visited with a Russian immigrant and mentioned our upcoming Thanksgiving Holiday. He attested that America is special in so many ways and how appropriate for her citizenry to have a yearly holiday devoted to being thankful.

Of all the holidays, Thanksgiving is my favorite as it is the only one that remains unmarred by crass commercialism. It is a special time for us as a nation to pause and reflect on the things for which we are thankful. In spite of the recent destruction life and property by storms and other issues of unrest, there is much to be thankful for.

With the exception of the American Indian, all of us have our roots in other soil. We are all children of immigrants from oppressed countries who came to this land in search of freedom. One of the greatest freedoms sought is religious freedom.

The Pilgrims withstood hardships and seemingly insurmountable odds to come to a land and establish freedom of worship. The freedom to worship. The freedom to worship God according to the convictions of your one’s own heart, not according to the dictates of a church state.

Still today there continues to be a mass worldwide exodus of people leaving established homes in search of freedom. The freedom to be safe. The freedom to be educated. The freedom to worship.

As a child I learned Emma Lazarus’s poem that is inscribed at the base of the Statue of Liberty.

                   “Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breath free.
                     Send these, the homeless, tempest tossed to me.
                     I life my lamp beside the golden doors.”

In spite of the destruction of life and property in recent storms we can always be thankful for what we have left. We can renew our appreciation for what has been, what is and what is yet to come. Renew an appreciation to value people and our homes as never before. A renewed appreciation to value the wonderful gift of life and to take nothing - and no one - for granted.

A renewed love for our neighbor – no matter the color, age, size or cultural. And to realize our neighbor is global. A renewed appreciation for the infinite worth and value of each individual - including yourself.

O Lord, that lends me life, lend me a heart replete with thankfulness.

William Shakespeare

A thankful heart is not only the greatest virtue, but the parent of all other virtues. Cicero

NEED A SPEAKER: Mona Dunkin is a Motivational Speaker, Corporate Trainer and Personal Success Coach. Contact her at mona@monadunkin.com 254-749-6594

A Progressive Blessing

May you awaken each morning filled with excitement over a new day.

May you eagerly taste the deliciousness of life.

May you revel in challenges presented and humbly triumph.

May heaven shower you with love, joy, mercy, compassion and faith to overflowing.

May you be overcome by the awe of a sacred moment.

May you embrace change and see it as the life-giving force that it is.

May you be healed of poverty, lack, intimidation, or anything that keeps you bound.

May you be released from unforgiveness, anxiety, or whatever that may keep you stuck.

May you allow God to love you and to bless you.

May you receive the gift of yourself.

May you be free from fear, doubt, scarcity and be empowered to risk success.

May you be encompassed by peace in the midst of turbulence.

May you experience restful sleep and pleasant dreams.

May your last thought of the day be one of profound, yet simple, “Thanks”.

© Mona Dunkin 2008

Developing A Spending Plan

　

“A budget feels like a diet. It curtails your freedom.

But with a spending plan, the choices are yours.” Deena Katz Moral

With the holidays upon us what better time to become spending conscious. Preparing for and living within one's budget contributes to peace on earth, good will to mankind.

1. Determine monthly income. Income is the money you bring in on a consistent basis and includes, but is not limited to, the following: regular income from primary job(s), regular overtime, tips, public assistance, child support, pension, social security, disability, commissions, bonuses, etc. If some of the regular income is flexible, choose a smaller amount but do include it in the total.

2. Determine monthly expenses. Expenses are things you spend money on/for and includes housing (rent/mortgage), utilities, telephone, car payment(s), car repair and maintenance, gasoline and oil, insurance, medicals, groceries, eating out, clothing, snack items, doctor visits, pet supplies, etc. Include small expenditures as well as large ones. Calculate yearly car repairs and maintenance (gas/oil/washes) and divide by twelve to arrive at the monthly expense. Do this on other items also that are not spent on a given date, such as groceries and clothing. Relegate the new school clothes purchases to a monthly expense. This way you will not be caught unawares and be in crunch time.

3. Know where your money goes. For the next two months, record all of your purchases. Record what you bought, the amount, the date and time, whether you used cash, check/debit or charge card, and your emotions at the moment. Note the impulse buys. Become aware of emotional purchases. Buying to feel good is a temporary false fix and makes you feel worse in the long run. Think and reason before buying. Remember, stuff does not bring happiness.

4. Look at other expenses and rank them in order of importance to you. Are you spending too much on fast foods? Where are you wasting money?

“Don’t worry that you’re going to lose your dignity. Engrave this motto on your mind,

‘Wherever I am, whatever I do, there is a way to do it for less’.” Mary Hunt

5. All successful spending plans require trade-offs. When you determine your core values and have something worth sacrificing for, it transcends the situation and sacrifice is not a sacrifice. “I choose to live within my budget; I will buy cool aid instead of more expensive soft drinks.” “We can rent movies rather than going to the movie house.” “I choose to live within my budget, so we can do without cable for a while.”

6. All successful spending plans require trade-offs. When you determine your core values and have something worth sacrificing for, it transcends the situation and sacrifice is not a sacrifice. “I choose to live within my budget; I will buy cool aid instead of more expensive soft drinks.” “We can rent movies rather than going to the movie house.” “I choose to live within my budget, so we can do without cable for a while.” Give up about keeping up with the neighbors. Make relationships more important than stuff.

7. Discipline yourself to paying by cash, debit card, or check. If the money is not in the bank, do not stress yourself by extending credit.

8. Limit yourself to one credit card and pay the balance each month. If you have existing credit card debt, pay off the high interest cards first, then use the extra amount to reduce the next highest, etc. This is also an excellent strategy to apply to reducing mortgage and car loans.

Have a Blessed Thanksgiving.

Make STRESS Work FOR You

Make stress work FOR you! Surely you jest!

Yes, we can make stress work for us by...
· Using stressful situation as a motivator to move – exercise or rest.
· Allowing stress to cause you to refocus on your priorities and values.
· Using stress as a springboard to develop new attitudes and habits.

Here are eight strategies for instant stress relief.

1. BELIEVE - Believe that life has a purpose. Believe that things will work out. Believe in God. Believe in yourself. Believe in others.

“My search led me to try to define what is meant by the word stress and its many uses. Then I turned to the world of anatomy and medicine to develop an understanding of how the body reacts to stress…. From my study I discovered the magnificent stress coping mechanism we have been given…. My conclusion is that stress is essentially a spiritual problem.” Dr. Lloyd J. Ogilvi

“There’s pressure every day in coaching. But pressure can be good. It can be a motivating factor to strive for excellence, unless you let it become fear. Because my faith is where it all starts, that pressure is not fear.” Kevin Steele, Former Baylor Head Football Coach

2. Make everything your choice. Even if it is a seemingly “have to” situation, refuse to be put upon by choosing to accept the task as a part of character development.

"Dr. Bernie Siegel, MD shocks his cancer patients when he asks them ‘Why do you need this illness?’ He claims our bodies break down to give us a message… and many times it is a message that we have been ignoring.” Pain, the Gift Nobody Wants, Dr. Paul Brand and Philip Yancey

3. Develop good communication skills. Be specific. Avoid the stress of repeating yourself.

4. Spend quality and quantity time with your family – and approach it with the right attitude.

“I tell my patients to release the work day and surrender to ‘kid time’. It’s a time when we can breath more deeply, laugh spontaneously, and just take in the natural loving energy that children bring to us.” Naomi Swanson, Ph.D.

5. Live one day at a time, and appreciate that one day for what it is and for who you are.

“Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it? – Ever? Every minute?” Thornton Wilder, Our Town

6. Determine “Who owns the problem?” If it is not your problem, do not make it so. Take yourself out of the middle so you can see more clearly.

7. Play and have fun. A playful mind is a de-stressed mind.

“Good mental health is the ability to work and play.” Sigmund Freud


8. Hurry less and relax more.

“Hurry, but don’t rush.” Coach John Wooten

Don't Cope. Overcome. Put these strategies in to play daily. They Work.

For success coaching, counsel or speaking engagements, contact Mona at 254-749-6594 or mona@solutionprinciples.com

Thanks Be To God

Life is filled with tension. What to do? What not to do? What is too much? What is not enough? Knowing. Not knowing. Not caring. Emotional highs and lows. Joys and disappointments. All at the same time!

Thank be to God for this Holy Easter Holiday. When rightly observed, Easter can teach us to die to life's tension in order to live abundantly. With the approaching of Ash Wednesday, I wish to share my last year's Lenten experience with you.

Although I have celebrated Easter all my life, I had never observed the 40-day Lenten fast. 2014 was a first for me. I am sad to say it had never seemed that important in preparation for Easter. How blind I have been.

We must choose to be awake to receive the Son-rise.

My Lenten fast was actually pretty petty. I choose to forgo the 2PM-4PM-half-price-drinks-run to Sonic. This everyday 44oz drink habit I had fallen into had taken on a life of its own. At 1:30 in the afternoon – I don’t want to miss it - my attention was drawn to my senses. Like Pavlov's dog, I salivated just thinking of the treat.

Everything is spiritual. How is it that denying the self can be as fulfilling as satisfying the self? Lent is not about the ego-self (edging God out) but the true-self (centering God in).

Self-control is an essential part of the spiritual life. As the appetite is tamed the soul flourishes. This iota of surrender made an enormous shift in my thinking. My afternoon attention is being refocused from Dr. Pepper to the Great Physician. My thirst is being translated from soda pop to Living Waters.

And in the process every sense is becoming sharper.

God’s silence speaks volumes and my stillness listens and my wisdom heart hears. How many times does God speak and we do not hear for our spiritual ear is dulled by the illusion of pleasures and pains of life?

In The Liturgical Year, Sister Joan Chittister relates the story of a disciple who heard a voice calling, “Who is there?”

Sensing a holy moment, she replied, “It is I, Lord.” But there was only silence.

Years later she again heard the voice and again she answered, “It is I, Lord. It is I.”

But there was only silence. In later years, the voice called a third time, “Who is there?”

This time she answered, “It is You, Lord, only You.”

Apostle Paul expressed it as decreasing so that God might increase.

Diane Bardwell sings, “Ever dying into You am I, until there is only You.”

Everything we learn in life, it is all Thanks Be To God.


For counsel or speaking engagements, contact Mona at mona@solutionprinciples.com

Be Your Best Self

Can you believe it is March already, and spring?  So, how are you doing on your New Year’s resolutions?  Not to worry, any month, any day is a good time for fresh starts - to begin something new or to make changes.  

In a past issue of Waco Today, Kat Nelson asked prominent community leaders to give hope for the coming year.  Rosemary Mayes of Scott & White Health Plans shared a poignant insight: “Every New Year people make resolutions to change aspects of themselves they believe are negative. A majority of people reverts back to how they were before and feels like failures. This year I challenge you to a new resolution: I challenge you to just be yourself!”

 

Which begs the question: Do you know how to be yourself?

 

I suggest that most of us only know who we are by hearsay. What they want for us, who they want us to be, where they want us to go, how they want us to behave. Having heard other’s dreams for our lives (that does not match our passion) or pronouncement of our character flaws (that seems so innate) or being prodded to action (that is not in keeping with our temperament), we peg ourselves a loser.

 

You were not born that way.  Family, friends and peers did not see you that way either. You were bragged about as being the smartest and cutest kid ever. Siblings were jealous of your awesomeness. Everyone saw so much potential in you – and maybe hung their star on your ascending stairway.

 

Needing to be loved and to belong, we went along with the charade. Allowing others to define you causes one to lose his/her true identity. It also thwarts growth and discovery. So accept Rosemary’s challenge and “be yourself”. 

Or, go back a few centuries and accept Shakespeare’s challenge: 

 

“This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day,
thou canst not then be false to any man.” Shakespeare – Hamlet

 

Do not misunderstand; there is much room for improvement. Accepting truth about oneself can be quite difficult. But truth really does set one free. Truth gives you the humility to come to terms with weaknesses (those pesky negatives). Speak the truth in love – to yourself (without condemnation) and – when need be - to others (without accusation).

 

Truth recognizes strengths - and you do have strengths or you would have never resolved to bring them into reality in the first place. Truth gives boldness to set boundaries and courage to be empowered to manifest those strengths. 

 

“This above all…” Being you is an imperative. Unless we can be true to ourselves first, we cannot be true to others.  It is impossible to be honest when hiding secrets.

 

How surely does night follow day?  Seems as though daylight and darkness have faithfully occurred every twenty-four hours since the beginning of time.

When we are true to ourselves first, we cannot be false with others. We become real. Genuine. Authentic. Lovely. The best you ever. 

 

Need a trainer or speaker?  Call me 254-749-6594; you’ll be glad you did.

 

Forgiveness: You and the Past

 

How can something from the past continue to be so hurtful?

It continues to be hurtful because it is not really over. Even though it may have happened weeks or years ago - if it has not been settled in your mind and heart and emotions - then it is still a fresh wound today. You are reliving yesterday today. The burr is still there. Although the person may be gone - through separation, divorce or death - the unfinished business looms in your present-day reality.

 

Why is it so difficult to be willing to forgive? Could it be the mistaken idea that to forgive the offender lets him off the hook?  Choosing to forgive lets you off the hook of being the one who is responsible for his punishment. Choosing to forgive is giving all consequences to a higher authority - civic, federal, God. Giving the judgment phase to a higher authority may include your reporting and testifying.

 

Some feel guilty because - having proclaimed forgiveness - the memory and the pain linger. There are some offenses that, although forgiven, would be egregious to forget. There are some offenses that, once forgiven, are no longer worth remembering.   

 

My mom had been deceased six years before I made my peace with her. The reasons for my wounds are irrelevant. I had held on to them so they were still fresh. They were also affecting my current relationships. 

 

Psychologists say that our raw emotions react to someone. What we don’t know is that the person against whom we are reacting is - in reality - a mirror reflecting us to us.  The tender spot is trying to awaken us to something we have done (present or past; deed or thought) to someone. This nightmarish insight is our friend. It is a manifestation of something within us that has come to show us what we are like so we can take care of it. So we can make friends with our humanness. So we can be healed.

 

Are there some things you wish you could move past? Allow the pain to remind you that your evolution isn’t finished yet. That you are being call to a place of offering forgiveness so you can find healing.

 

There are two types of guilty people.  There are the guilty who acknowledge their wrongs, make restitution, are forgiven, redeemed and are restored. There are the guilty that fail to see anything wrong with their actions. We all fall into this category.

 

Ho'oponopono is a beautiful Hawaiian prayer that helps one take personal responsibility for whatever shows up in life.  “I’m sorry. Please forgive me. I love you. Thank you.” 

 

“I’m sorry.” This expresses compassion for you. I am so sorry that while doing the best I could, something happened to hurt me and I created this reactionary behavior as a coping mechanism. I am so sorry this has become my default-handling-hurts position.

 

“Please forgive me.” Please forgive me for those whom I have hurt or harmed in thought, word or deed. Please forgive me for harboring unkindness and hurt toward those who have hurt or harmed me in thought, word or deed. Please forgive me for forgetting how much God loves me - and you. 

 

“I love you.” (This portion is directed mutually to you, to the offender and to all humanity.) I love you for being the person God is creating you to be. I love you for recognizing the need to explore this area for your continued growth. I love you for the gifts you are bringing to the world.

 

“Thank you.” Thank you for showing me that I am ready to release anger and unforgiveness. Thank you for the challenges that propel us to awaken to the beauty of the world and of people. Thank you that when I release me, I also release those who offend me so they, too, can be healed. 

 

It is easier to choose to forgive another when we receive the reality that we are forgiven and that we are loved and loveable.

In Every Thing Give Thanks

 

In all things give thanks for this is God’s will for you. Apostle Paul

Even though the day set aside to celebrate Thanksgiving has past, It is always good to give pause to count our blessings.

I am thankful for being born an American where we have certain unalienable rights and where we are free to exercise them, or to take them for granted, or to ignore them.

I am thankful for the Pilgrims who braved an angry ocean and withstood seeming insurmountable hardships to blaze a country with freedom to worship.

I am thankful for our forefathers and their foresight and wisdom of our Constitution and the many freedoms afforded us. Even though it has been abused and taken to extremes, I am thankful for free speech.

I am thankful for my family of chance: For parents who lived godly values and taught me character, integrity and an appreciation for work. I am thankful for my sister who begged for a sibling and then mothered me to a fault. I am thankful for my brothers who taught me to be tough and tender.

I am especially thankful for my family of choice. I am thankful for my husband of 45 years; a gentle man who is secure enough in himself to give me the freedom to be who I am. I am thankful for our daughter and her special love, laughter and inspiration. I am thankful for our son-in-law for being so good to us, to our daughter and to our grandchildren. I am thankful for our four beautiful, funny and delightful grandchildren. I am thankful for the fifth grandchild on the way.

I am thankful for assorted relatives who have touched my life in various ways – some good, some bad – but all uniting us as a family. I am thankful for friends, neighbors, acquaintances and for those special comrades, who laugh with me, cry with me, grow with me. I am thankful for each person who has touched my person in a unique way.

I am thankful for less obvious reasons.  I am thankful for misunderstandings, because they teach me to strive to be a better communicator; for criticism, for it forces me to examine actions and attitudes of self-righteousness, and leads to repentance; for failures, because they make me appreciate successes; for adversity, because it is in the winter that roots grow deepest to find fresh nourishment; for financial reverses, because it helps me to be grateful for what I have.

I am thankful for challenges that tax every fiber of my being, for it forces me to grow in new directions. I am thankful for dreams, ideas and goals, for they keep me active and energetic and alive. I am thankful for a contented mind and a grateful heart.

When it may seem difficult to be thankful in those trying times, may you receive understanding through the insights of Author Oswald Chambers:

weaknesses that show our need for His strength

difficulties that can keep us close to Jesus

hardships that keep us hidden in Him each moment

earthly disappointments that set our hearts on eternity.

Need a Life Coach? Contact Mona at 254-749-6594 or mona@monadunkin.com

The Mystery of Quiet Reflection

"Time is at once the most valuable and the most perishable of all our possessions."
Oliver Wendell Holmes

Do you compete with time? Or complain there is not enough of it? Are you guilty of bragging about how much you have to do? Or how long it has been since you have had a vacation? Or even a day off?

What is your reaction when another tells of their hectic life? Do you feel the need to one-up? Do you regard busy-ness as proof of self-worth?

Everyone has been given twenty-four hours in a day, yet some seem to make better use of it than others. Effective use of time is not magic, but it is a mystery. It starts with the wisdom of self-evaluation.

Redeem the time. Suppose you use a pizza coupon. The size and quality of the pizza remains the same but the financial outlay to you is less. Through use of a coupon the pizza proprietor gave you more bang for your buck. Quiet time stretches your spending. It is not another item on your “to do” list; it is actually a time maker.

Attune your heart and mind to inner peace. Did you know that noise comes from the same root word as nausea? For a few minutes deliberately shut out the noise of your surroundings. Push all the brain chatter aside and focus on the rhythm of your breath. According to brain science, as you focus on calm, the frontal lobes turn down the brain volume and ushers you into a place of serenity.

Listen to the still small voice inside. Conscious is defined as “an inner knowing of right from wrong, with a compulsion to do right.” Begin to listen to you; the answers are within. Brain scan of people meditating takes them to what scientists call “the God spot.”

Practice makes permanent. I have been told that runners reach a high to which they become addicted. Energy is released when the position is assumed on the runner’s block. I don’t know about exercise yet, but I can vouch for the longing for meditation. Assume the position and peace enfolds. Meditation is the silent language of creation.

Whether for a few minutes or an hour discover the mystery of quiet time and find the enchantment of wonderland. When you think you do not have time for quiet time is when you need it most. Taking a few moments of quiet reflection to realign thoughts and release pent up emotions helps you sort out true priorities vs. the tyranny of the urgent. Quiet time allows one to temporarily disengage from the rat-race to find your humanity.

Sacred Contracts

"The strongest need in the human personality is our need to act consistently
with how we define ourselves." Psychologist Robert Cialdini

With what do we identify more than with our name. I did not have a vote in “Mona” being my name but, unknowingly, I agreed to it. Whatever we agree to meshes with and become a defining part of our unique and distinctive personality. The demonstration of my agreement is manifested in the fact that, still today, when “Mona” is spoken, my otherwise rapt attention is drawn toward the sweetness of the sound.

The identity associated with one’s name goes hand-in-hand with mankind’s need to love and belong. Dale Carnegie gave top billing to speaking and remembering a person’s name in his profoundly influential book “How to Winning Friends and Influence People”.

In the Biblical book of Genesis, God changed the names of Abram and Sarai to Abraham and Sarah. The nuance expanded definition of their life purpose and spoke into existence sacred covenants. They were given instructions on how to bring about this manifestation: “Live in my presence. Be devout.” (Genesis 17)

Whether eagerly or reluctantly, they agreed to this phenomenon and began to speak it into existence. Before others called them Abraham or Sarah, they needed to pronounce themselves, “I am Abraham.” “I am Sarah.” As they lived up to their changed persona, the family, the community and even the world today, recognizes them as “Father of Many Nations” and “Mother of Many Kings”.

There is a lot of teaching today about walking the talk. Tommy Malone gives a tongue-twister twist to a touchy truthful truism: “Our walk talks, and our talk talks. But, our walk talks louder than our talk talks.”

Inscribed above the Supreme Court Building in Washington, D.C. are powerful words of justice: “You shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free.”
Only knowing truth is not so easily know. Truth is not found through knowledge, but is revealed through trial and error. At least the kind of truth that sets one free to be whom s/he is created to be. It has to be an inward knowing, not a head filled with information. A knowing that is agreed to, either eagerly or reluctantly. A knowing that is spoken into existence through goals and actions and public pronouncements. A knowing that proclaims either boldly “I am strong” or timidly asserts, “I am stronger than I once was.”

Whether one identifies self by his/her certified birth name, a contradictive nickname or a self-imposed moniker, one’s reputation is inextricably connected with his personal contracts. We are not static individuals but are in continual position for growth or stagnation. Early agreements can be jettisoned or modified in light of truth. Truth that is real and freeing. What sacred covenants do you need to explore?

Your Relationship with God

There is something about the human condition that wants truth or consequences. This reality is evidenced in the outpouring of literature and movies with the theme of good vs. evil, including Star Wars, Zane Grey and Harry Potter. Good always wins in the end. It is not a matter of relativity. Some things are right. Some things are wrong.

America, our wonderful free-enterprise country was founded to promote the freedom of worship. Right and wrong, good and evil are moral facts, and without God, or a supreme being, no basis exists for morality. We are spiritual beings on a physical journey.

I love the Twelve-Step philosophy founded by Bill W. and Dr. Bob and currently used by a numerous life-controlling self-help groups.

Step One: We admitted that we were powerless over alcohol and that our lives had become unmanageable. Any life-controlling issue can be inserted such as alcohol, drugs, food, anger, gambling, work, greed, pleasure, power or any compulsion. If you cannot think of a specific life-controlling issue, simple insert the word pride or stress.

Step Two: We came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. In striving for our self-evident truths of “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness,” we can incorporate the antonyms of wellness such as careless, underhanded or unethical. Instead of wholeness we become divided, broken and unhappy. There is a source outside of our self that can bring restoration.

Step Three: We made a decision to turn our wills and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him. I love this concept. We do not have to understand the supernatural to enjoy the benefits. We do not have to know how God or faith or goal setting or positive attitude works, we just decide to give it a shot.

Someone reduced the three steps to a simple: I can’t. God can. I’ll let Him. These three steps are not magical but they are a mystery.

We welcome reprinting of articles in your newsletter or magazine, providing credit is given as follows: “This article was written by Mona Dunkin, Motivational Speaker and Personal Success Coach, www.monadunkin.blogspot.com or www.monadunkin.com.”

Flawed and Fabulous

You are fabulous. Regardless of what Jane/John says (fill in appropriate name) you are great. You are a being of infinite worth and value. You are a unique and special one-of-a-kind individual, a work of art with a designer label.

You are flawed. Regardless of what ego trip you may take, you are imperfect. To determine your authentic fabulous self from a generic-follow-the-crowd-brand starts with asking and answering some difficult questions.

Nothing shapes relationships and success like the picture you have of you. The trouble is that we often assume our identity based on hearsay, and therefore, give too much weight to what others say. Or to what you think others think. Although you are a product of your environment you can choose to not be victimized by it. Disillusionment sets in when you feel you are not good enough.

When you think about you what do you say? What is your self-talk? Do you feel you are not capable? That you do not live up to another’s expectation of you? That you do not deserve the position or the accolades?

Do you feel anxious when you make a mistake? Do your actions testify that on some level you believe that your mistakes make you a bad person? Listen to your self-talk. Although you may disagree intellectually, doesn’t insignificance feel true on some gut level?

A mistake is a mis-take (miss take). “Back up the trolley” and give yourself a do-over.

Should vs. could. “I should have” is weighty. “Shoulds” brand you emotionally as an idiot. “I could have” is empowering, giving new insight to do the do-over with more wisdom, grace and accuracy. The “I should” take up wasted space for “I could” action.

Should is past tense, focusing on doing something yesterday that is virtually impossible. Or “I should” can be used to placate being lazy or refusing to take action. They add to your self-view of being flawed. It is also stress-producing.

Could is present tense; look at the reality of now and the ability of you to do or to learn to do. Determine what you could do and enhance your self-view of being fabulous. Decide what you could do, do it and disassociate with should. Enough said.

Speak up. Assertive is a freeing way to live. It is learning to be able to speak up for fabulous you without undue anxiety. It is learning to say "No" or "Yes" only when it is in your own best interest. Say "No" and feel good about it. Say "Yes" when you have the energy, time and resources to do so without depleting you. You cannot give out of an empty basket; assertive is taking care of you so you can joyfully give to others.

Assertive is easy to learn and effective in making life better and improving relationships. It is becoming your own person so the wonderful, fabulous person God has created you to be shines through those pesky flaws.

Share with us how you are fabulous inspite of flaws.

Forgiving and Being Forgiven

As we enter spring and the Easter Season there seems to be two things that go hand in hand. The beauty of spring causes us to participate in planting and growing. The reality of Easter causes us to get personal with Jesus. Easter brings us face-to-face with how we feel about our family member Jesus.

On the cross Jesus cried, “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.” Although transcribed only once in the Gospels, Bible scholars tell us the verb tense indicates the phrase was repeated over and over.

As the crowd jeered along the pathway, Jesus prayed, ““Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.” As the spikes tore into his flesh, Jesus begged, “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.” As the soldiers gambled for his royal robe, Jesus urgently entreated, “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.”

One might posture that the unbelievers knew what they were doing. Yes and No. It was a knowing-not-knowing. A knowing that your emotions are angry and filled with hate. A knowing that one wants to lash out and hurt another - maybe the one seen as causing the pain. A knowing of the lie behind “revenge is sweet”. A knowing of the immediate actions, but a not-knowing of the long range effects. A not-knowing of the hurt afflicted on others by default. A not-knowing of the burden of guilt of a selfish act.

Since Jesus ever lives to make intercession for us, even yet today he intercedes on behalf of you and me, “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.”

Forgive and forget. People are often reluctant to forgive, mistakenly thinking the offender is off the hook. Some feel guilty for not forgiving. Some have tried to forgive but think they have failed because they cannot forget. Forgiving does not mean forgetting. Forgiveness often makes things not worth remembering. There are thing that are completely forgiven that we would never want to forget.

Did God forget the cross? Jesus interceded for those crucifying him. Does that mean it was over and he forgot the whole incident? Certainly not! He transformed it from a thing of hurt into a thing of grace. God remembers the cross; not to strike back but to give salvation. He would never want to forget it because it was a hard-fought victory of mercy.

Are there some things you wish you could forget? Allow the pain to remind you that God’s work isn’t finished yet. That he is calling you to a place of offering forgiveness so you can find healing. Let it call you into the arms of Jesus, the one who truly understand pain, rejection and injustice. Allow beauty to spring forth from the scars. Allow God to transform your memories into a testimony of his grace.

It is easier to choose to forgive another when we receive the reality that we are forgiven.

You and the Rest of the World

All people seek a quality world in which they can experience maximum happiness and success with a minimum pain, suffering and failure. The work force is a major part of this quality world. Whether domestic, volunteer or corporate, the relationship you have with your work and the people with whom you work is invaluable in your wholeness.

All humanity: Each human being has been encoded with gifts that, when unwrapped and put into use, bless himself, his family, the community and the world. Each person has a calling, and when the call is answered, her life becomes more fulfilling.

The civic community: Thomas Friedman tells us that The World is Flat. Each person is a vital part of a larger community and his behavior has a ripple effect on others. Become a valued member of society by obeying the laws of the land (even traffic rules), respecting property, voting, taking active participation in civic matters, recycling and protecting the environment. Value the natural environment by being a good steward. The relationship you have with the community is invaluable in the quality of life passed to future generations.

The work force: In any business leverage has three equal sides: marketing, technology, and people. People vote with their feet. If they do not like a product, they quit buying it. If they do not like the service rendered, they look else where. People continue to interact with people, and continue to do business with businesses that continues to add value to their lives. Every consumer’s buying motive is twofold: 1) a benefit to be gained 2) a loss to be averted.

In business: There are two kinds of customers, internal and external. When pressure is on performance and profit, caring people can behave in uncaring ways. A caring manager can come across as uncaring when his overarching thought are on upholding the company’s bottom line of profit by taking care of the external customers (shoppers and clients). In so doing, she fails to take care of internal customers (workers).

People contact is more about attitude than action. Choose to put everyone into your quality world; want to connect with them. A friendly face with a welcoming smile and an embracing attitude is of more value than canned client information, even if you have to ask again. Caring and service flow from you, once you know whom you are, to connect with others. The law of reciprocity comes into play and caring and service are returned to you. Yes, client knowledge is important. Genuine caring is vital.

A construction site visitor observed workers and ask, “What are you doing?” He received a variety of it’s-just-a-job-and-I-have-to-be-here-replies. One man was pushing a heavy wheelbarrow filled with bricks up a third-story gangplank. He was huffing, puffing, and sweating. His reply was, “I’m building a cathedral.”

In the things you put your hands to, are you just performing a job or building a cathedral? The people with whom you interact, are they “mere mortals”, or “wonderful blessings”?
There are no lone rangers. People matter. We need people. People need us.

We welcome reprinting of articles in your newsletter or magazine, providing credit is given as follows: “This article was written by Mona Dunkin, Motivational Speaker and Personal Success Coach, www.monadunkin.blogspot.com or www.monadunkin.com.”

People in Your Quality World

Somewhere in our brain is a picture of a quality world: the people, places and things that comprise our ideal. Our life is spent trying to develop the quality world pictures into a reality. This includes family relationships and those with co-workers.

Life success is dependent upon the over-arching principle of the intrinsic value of people and the needs of each to love and to serve. All people are searching for identity, position, purpose and significance. It is through integritious giving and gracious receiving of friendship and service that we are fulfilled and find purpose.

There are two types of networks, internal and peripheral. Co-workers come with the job. Neighbors move in and out. With the exception of your mate, families are by chance, not choice. In one sense we all live in blended families; valuing diversity is vital for harmony. Choose to make the by-chance people a part of your quality world. Relate to them in a caring manner. Become involved and seek to understand. Spend quality time together having fun and openly communicate.

Value people and their potential. People in your internal network are there by chance, not choice, but that does not diminish their value and importance. Make a conscious, deliberate, continual, on-purpose choice to see their intrinsic value and importance. Appreciate each one’s unique contribution to your life and work. Help in the development of talents and be encouraging. Anything that appreciates goes up in value. The relationship you have with your family is invaluable in building overall success and in your legacy to future generations.

This includes you. You did not choose to be born, yet life and family is the greatest gift God and your parents gave you. Honor self and be true to you.

Peripheral people. The human condition places too much emphasis on peripheral people and thereby tends to be on stage and give top performance for them. It may be easier to be patient with the rude customer than to be kind to your difficult mate. It may be easier to be more longsuffering with a peripheral person, than with your cranky child or your irritating in-laws. It may be easier to be polite to those on the peripheral than those who contribute most to your happiness and success. Get a new perspective. Nurture the individuals in your internal network as you nurture a love-interest. Court them as you would your boss or a new account.

The beauty of your internal network is the ready availability for frequent interaction. Look for ways to show appreciation. Be aware of their unique talents and give specific praise. In your dealings with those in your quality world, be open and forthright with no hidden agendas. Be faithful to keep them in the loop through the power of information.

Family, co-workers and community all contribute to our quality world. The healthier the relationship we develop with them – individually and corporately – the greater our life success and happiness.

We welcome reprinting of articles in your newsletter or magazine, providing credit is given as follows: “This article was written by Mona Dunkin, Motivational Speaker and Personal Success Coach, www.monadunkin.blogspot.com or www.monadunkin.com.”

Forgiving and Being Forgiven

As we enter spring and the Easter Season there seems to be two things that go hand in hand. The beauty of spring causes us to participate in planting and growing. The reality of Easter causes us to get personal with Jesus. Easter brings us face-to-face with how we feel about our family member Jesus.

On the cross Jesus cried, “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.” Although transcribed only once in the Gospels, Bible scholars tell us the verb tense indicates the phrase was repeated over and over.

As the crowd jeered along the pathway, Jesus prayed, ““Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.” As the spikes tore into his flesh, Jesus begged, “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.” As the soldiers gambled for his royal robe, Jesus urgently entreated, “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.”

One might posture that the unbelievers knew what they were doing. Yes and No. It was a knowing-not-knowing. A knowing that your emotions are angry and filled with hate. A knowing that one wants to lash out and hurt another - maybe the one seen as causing the pain. A knowing of the lie behind “revenge is sweet”. A knowing of the immediate actions, but a not-knowing of the long range effects. A not-knowing of the hurt afflicted on others by default. A not-knowing of the burden of guilt of a selfish act.

Since Jesus ever lives to make intercession for us, even yet today he intercedes on behalf of you and me, “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.”

Forgive and forget. People are often reluctant to forgive, mistakenly thinking the offender is off the hook. Some feel guilty for not forgiving. Some have tried to forgive but think they have failed because they cannot forget. Forgiving does not mean forgetting. Forgiveness often makes things not worth remembering. There are thing that are completely forgiven that we would never want to forget.

Did God forget the cross? Jesus interceded for those crucifying him. Does that mean it was over and he forgot the whole incident? Certainly not! He transformed it from a thing of hurt into a thing of grace. God remembers the cross; not to strike back but to give salvation. He would never want to forget it because it was a hard-fought victory of mercy.

Are there some things you wish you could forget? Allow the pain to remind you that God’s work isn’t finished yet. That he is calling you to a place of offering forgiveness so you can find healing. Let it call you into the arms of Jesus, the one who truly understand pain, rejection and injustice. Allow beauty to spring forth from the scars. Allow God to transform your memories into a testimony of his grace.

It is easier to choose to forgive another when we receive the reality that we are forgiven.

Challenge Your Beliefs

Everyone has something that represents the center of his being – a career, a relationship, a dream, a concept – and that something determines his priorities and attitudes.

Concepts become a part of your life only through agreement, and once you agree, you believe. Once you believe, you act in keeping with the belief. Your beliefs become who you are. Sometimes the concept agreed to is not truth, and the things believed are faulty and the values adopted are in opposition to the freedom sought.

A person will believe what he believes until he believes something different. The values you have been taught influence who you are. The values you choose to ascribe to determine whom you become. We are not static individuals. We have been given a mind with which to reason and a free will with which to make choices. When we see the validly for change, we can make new agreements.

For example, suppose a person is taught that “plaid” people are not to be trusted, and he agrees because he values the culture that taught him this concept. When he agrees that plaid people are unreliable then his actions follow suit, and he shunned them. In time he encounters plaid people at work, in the neighborhood and at civic events. This continued exposure would either affirm or disavow his belief about plaid people. If the concept holds true, he is a much happier man for he has discovered truth. But, if the original concept proves to be faulty, value conflicts arise and he becomes an increasingly unhappy and angry man, even though he may hold on to the negative belief about plaid people.

I encourage people to challenge their beliefs. If you challenge what you believe and it begins to crumble, then you are in a position to look for truth. If you challenge the belief and it holds true, you become a stronger and more settled person. Warning: If your challenged conception proves to be genuine, allow that truth to motivate you toward compassion for the one still deceived, rather than being judgmental.

We, as fellow human beings, are more alike than we are different. Ethics cannot be legislated, however, there are universal laws of human conduct, and to violate them brings choas. There is a wide spectrum of what constitutes value, there also are standards that people around the world, and that all major religions, adhere to. Webster’s Dictionary defines conscious as, “as inner knowing of right from wrong, with a compulsion to do right.” Psychiatrist Carl Jung calls it “the collective unconscious,” meaning an inner knowing whether you heed it or not.

If your life becoming more glorious? Are all your important relationships becoming more loving? Is every aspect of your success more enjoyable? Is your overall well-being becoming healthier? Is your sleep sweet? If the answer to any of these is questionable, perhaps it is time to challenge your beliefs. Listen to the still small voice inside, and heed it.

We welcome reprinting of articles in your newsletter or magazine, providing credit is given as follows: “This article was written by Mona Dunkin, Motivational Speaker and Personal Success Coach, www.monadunkin.blogspot.com or www.monadunkin.com.”