You are going through your day when something triggers a stream of disagreeable thoughts – anger, resentment, lack, criticism, fear –or the thoughts as easily could be pining for reconciliation, preparing for an upcoming event, or taming a huge to-do-list.
How do you handle it? Do you go to a dark place? Would you like to see things differently? Would you like to identify, re-frame, resolve, and smile as you go on your productive way?
More than likely, the critical thought is something you had pushed down, maybe in fear of not knowing what to do, or dread of how long I twill take, or to abandon completely. Your creative mind brings it back to your right now conscious thinking so you can be accountable. Thoughts becomes negative and stress producing when discounted.
What to do?
Stop Immediately. Pause. Breath. Talk yourself down. Beating yourself up does absolutely no good plus it compounds your stress. Gently acknowledge the thought. Talk to the thoughts. “Thank you for reminding me of this pressing issue.” “I can handle this.” “I’ll take the high road.” “I’ll do what I can to preserve this relationship.”
Know that your Creative Mind listens in on your self-talk and gently asks, “How can I help you with that?” In that moment of pause, allow your brain chemist to organically drop calming chemicals into your system. Relax as you take pen and paper to jot down positive loving ideas as to what, when and how. You just gave your creativity a task to decipher.
“The faintest ink is better than the most retentive memory.” Mary Kay Ash
Get back to the business at hand while trusting and allowing your creative mind and wisdom heart to problem solve for you.
Next time you think you have been misunderstood, violated, have a huge to-do-list – or whatever it is you want to fix - check and see if the sky has turned cloudy or the sun has stopped shinning. If not, you will probably make it through this. Do not allow yourself to fall down the Alice in Wonderland Rabbit Hole. Lewis Carroll wrote, “She (Alice) generally gave herself very good advice (though she seldom followed it.)”
Give and follow your wisdom heart. When those shoved down thoughts jettison you into the RIGHT NOW. give yourself another thought. A calmer thought. A saner thought. A healthier thought.
DON’T COPE. OVERCOME. Think about these things.
· Give yourself room to grow
· Take yourself out of the middle
· Witness you from a balcony position – not to look down on, but to see all sides with more clarity
· Be aware of negative identity thoughts and reframe – “I’m learning.” “I used to think that way.”
· Know that you are enough - you are enough, you have enough, you do enough. Be okay with that.
· Find a way to be kind and accept regardless of rather than because of – as is, warts and all
· Find an honorable way to release your ideal caricature expectation
· Respect without dismissing, ignoring, or trying to change another’s quirks
· Be willing to make reasonable concessions
· Develop communication skills of speaking your truth as well as listening to understand
· Become aware how you may be demoralizing another to make yourself look good
· Know that being “right” gains nothing and deepens the separation