My sister is elated with her Pain Management classes and promising results from her chronic discomfort.
The teacher had the class to imagine cutting, smelling and tasting a lemon. My sister was delighted how real the feel, aroma and acidic tang seemed.
The teacher then had the students measure their pain.
She took them through a mind movie of visiting a pleasant and passive place for relaxation and enjoyment. Again they were to measure their pain. Once again my sister was delighted with the results.
She mentioned how nice it was but lamented that “it’s only temporary as you can’t do something like that all the time.”
Ah, contraire, dear sister and dear friends, it can become permanent. Here’s how:
1. The initial exercise was an adventurous trek into uncharted brain matter.
2. Each repeated mental work-out wears the path a little deeper.
3. Eventually the brain is trained to think that way.
Remember, practice makes permanent. So when you become aware you have wandered back onto an old highway of pain… at those junctures we have a choice. Slide back to the former habitual - although painful ways - or employ the newly discovered discipline to build inroads into the possible.
Your choice to living in possibilities consists of two essentials. One is the initial training and two is scheduled daily meditation. Daily. Same time. Same method. Same practice repetition. Those dedicated moments in the morning sets the pattern for your brain to follow the rest of the day.
As the mind is trained to pay attention to a possible interloper, you will find yourself growing in strength and resiliency. You will be able to handle challenges with grace and ease. You will become resourceful, creative and pain free.
In Practice of the Presence of God, Brother Lawrence, a Carmelite monk (1640) spoke of making himself spend time in quite reflection each morning. To his surprise, the previous mundane chore of peeling potatoes and washing dishes became a joy.
Life being what it is, there will be times when you just do not want to do it or you just do not feel like doing it. Since it’s all about the rest of the day, your conscious decision to mentally overcome your feelings comes into play.
That is when it’s “Niki Time”. Just. Do. It.
Do the math. Put too much distance between the lethargic mood and the solution and you have regret. Start the day in a good mood with an active pain reducing mode and have up to 18 hours to enjoy it.
Need trainer? Mona Dunkin leads individuals and companies to greater levels of success. Contact her at mona@solutionprinciples.com View training topics at www.monadunkin.com
Showing posts with label Wellness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Wellness. Show all posts
1/27/15
Understanding Your Story
"Tell me I have led a good life. Tell me I am a good man." James Ryan in Saving Private Ryan
Everybody has a story. Each person is a unique individual conjoined with generations past. Everyone has a storyline uniquely his own, yet with commonalities to the whole. Through stories (history) we form our identity. The quest for identity, position, purpose and significance encompasses our lifelong journey.
Children love to hear accounts of their birth or antics over and over as a way saying, “Confirm to me again who I am and that I matter”. Whether the exploits are accurate or not is not germane to its influence. They need to know that the fairy tale doesn’t change.
As life nears the end many query, as did aging James Ryan in the movie Saving Private Ryan, “Tell me I have led a good life. Tell me I’m a good man.” Confirm to me that my life has had purpose.
The irony remains that most of us know ourselves only by hearsay. Hearsay - through stories told to us about us when we were younger (forgotten or were unaware), through current communication of what others say to us about us (whether we agree, disagree or are yet unaware), or through what we presume (correctly or incorrectly) that others say or think about us.
A fish does not know he is in a cocoon of water. Likewise, we are born into a culture cocoon of sorts; neutral - neither good nor bad - they just are. They include beliefs, creeds, rules and regulations by which we order our lives. These bonds surround and define us. This is who we are, what we believe, what we stand for and what we do.
Yet we are too unique to have a cookie-cutter identity. People reorganize their stories according to how they imagine their lives should be. Do not foolishly discard your story as that would leave you open and venerable. To disavow your cocoon boundaries is to cease to exist. Yet to hold on too tight stifles and prevents growth. The cost is your true identity.
We are a composite whole with many dimensions. You are who you are while at the same time fulfilling different roles, such as child, parent, sibling, neighbor, co-worker, leader, follower, golfer or gardener. When one is primarily in any of these roles, he is still all of himself only in a combined way specific to that situation.
No matter the cocoon in which one is reared (or are still swimming), no matter the current conditions economically, politically, socially or religiously, no matter one’s race, color, or creed, internal greatness is already within you. Although there is a lot to be said for the safety, nurturing and identity of culture, we limit our growth as individuals by remaining in any group-think environment. Holding loosely to one’s story can be a blessing. In traumatic situations such as war camps, those who shed their former identity are more likely to survive with resiliency mechanisms intact.
Perhaps we are the closest to the reality of who we are when our story unravels. We become authentic. We begin to see and understand things as closely to what is and what was and what will be. Look at today’s product in light of your storyline-to-date and with open vision to undeveloped potentialities. Allow this inward outlook to nurture wisdom and goodness.
Through meditation seek to become the person you are created to be. Find your greatness. Live your personal story to the blending and inner twining of an enjoyable and meaningful life.
For success coaching, counsel or speaking engagements, contact Mona at 254-749-6594 or mona@solutionprinciples.com
3/17/13
Real Age - Chronology or Biology
Drs. Michael Roizen and Mehmet Oz are on a campaign to help Americans determine their Real Age. Not chronological years, but health years. Improved health results in the very real reality of extended chronological years. Or at least better quality of life for the remaining number of years we are on planet earth. I had the opportunity to come face-to-face with my internal health issues.
Dr. Richard Couey is a cellular biologist with Baylor University in Waco, TX. He has a unique way of counseling clients. A tiny drop of one’s blood is put under a microscope that projects the image to a computer screen. On the wall are pictures of healthy blood cells and also of blood cells in various degrees of maladies. The individual is allowed to make his/her own diagnosis as to the health of one’s cells.
My husband and I were allowed to see for our self the decay of our cells. Reality of what was hidden to our eyes. My cells were thick (matches my heavy body) and clumped together. My husband saw rampant arthritis flecks and decaying cells. Both blood systems had puffs of stress.
For three months we followed Dr. Couey’s suggestions for eating and moving. Very simple things like fresh fruits and vegetables. Baked chicken and fish and reduced amount of red meat. Walk around the block twice a day. When sitting, lift your legs up and down and roll your shoulders and ankles for improved range of motion. We also took enzymes and vitamins.
On my own, I recommitted to daily quiet time and meditation. At the end of ninety days, the blood tests were re-administered. I was amazed. I had lost six pounds and had more energy.
But the proof was in the blood. The cell walls were appreciably thinner and the clumping was reduced, with a few flowing freely. And no puffs of stress.
It’s all about movement. When my last HDL cholesterol was not optimal, the nurse said the most effective way to increase those numbers was through exercise. Walking speaks to the body in powerful ways. So I am choosing to not make exercise into a four-letter word and have retitled it "energizing". Quality calories in and quality movement out.
We need community. We need movement. Seems our bodies are hard wired for exercise and to care. The caring part comes easy for me. Not so the physical fitness. But that is all changing and I eagerly anticipate the daily transformation. As my chronological age increases, with a positive change in activity and eating habits, my biological age can stay consistent – or reverse.
How about you?
7/29/12
The Mystery of Quiet Reflection
"Time is at once the most valuable and the most perishable of all our possessions."
Oliver Wendell Holmes
Do you compete with time? Or complain there is not enough of it? Are you guilty of bragging about how much you have to do? Or how long it has been since you have had a vacation? Or even a day off?
What is your reaction when another tells of their hectic life? Do you feel the need to one-up? Do you regard busy-ness as proof of self-worth?
Everyone has been given twenty-four hours in a day, yet some seem to make better use of it than others. Effective use of time is not magic, but it is a mystery. It starts with the wisdom of self-evaluation.
Redeem the time. Suppose you use a pizza coupon. The size and quality of the pizza remains the same but the financial outlay to you is less. Through use of a coupon the pizza proprietor gave you more bang for your buck. Quiet time stretches your spending. It is not another item on your “to do” list; it is actually a time maker.
Attune your heart and mind to inner peace. Did you know that noise comes from the same root word as nausea? For a few minutes deliberately shut out the noise of your surroundings. Push all the brain chatter aside and focus on the rhythm of your breath. According to brain science, as you focus on calm, the frontal lobes turn down the brain volume and ushers you into a place of serenity.
Listen to the still small voice inside. Conscious is defined as “an inner knowing of right from wrong, with a compulsion to do right.” Begin to listen to you; the answers are within. Brain scan of people meditating takes them to what scientists call “the God spot.”
Practice makes permanent. I have been told that runners reach a high to which they become addicted. Energy is released when the position is assumed on the runner’s block. I don’t know about exercise yet, but I can vouch for the longing for meditation. Assume the position and peace enfolds. Meditation is the silent language of creation.
Whether for a few minutes or an hour discover the mystery of quiet time and find the enchantment of wonderland. When you think you do not have time for quiet time is when you need it most. Taking a few moments of quiet reflection to realign thoughts and release pent up emotions helps you sort out true priorities vs. the tyranny of the urgent. Quiet time allows one to temporarily disengage from the rat-race to find your humanity.
Oliver Wendell Holmes
Do you compete with time? Or complain there is not enough of it? Are you guilty of bragging about how much you have to do? Or how long it has been since you have had a vacation? Or even a day off?
What is your reaction when another tells of their hectic life? Do you feel the need to one-up? Do you regard busy-ness as proof of self-worth?
Everyone has been given twenty-four hours in a day, yet some seem to make better use of it than others. Effective use of time is not magic, but it is a mystery. It starts with the wisdom of self-evaluation.
Redeem the time. Suppose you use a pizza coupon. The size and quality of the pizza remains the same but the financial outlay to you is less. Through use of a coupon the pizza proprietor gave you more bang for your buck. Quiet time stretches your spending. It is not another item on your “to do” list; it is actually a time maker.
Attune your heart and mind to inner peace. Did you know that noise comes from the same root word as nausea? For a few minutes deliberately shut out the noise of your surroundings. Push all the brain chatter aside and focus on the rhythm of your breath. According to brain science, as you focus on calm, the frontal lobes turn down the brain volume and ushers you into a place of serenity.
Listen to the still small voice inside. Conscious is defined as “an inner knowing of right from wrong, with a compulsion to do right.” Begin to listen to you; the answers are within. Brain scan of people meditating takes them to what scientists call “the God spot.”
Practice makes permanent. I have been told that runners reach a high to which they become addicted. Energy is released when the position is assumed on the runner’s block. I don’t know about exercise yet, but I can vouch for the longing for meditation. Assume the position and peace enfolds. Meditation is the silent language of creation.
Whether for a few minutes or an hour discover the mystery of quiet time and find the enchantment of wonderland. When you think you do not have time for quiet time is when you need it most. Taking a few moments of quiet reflection to realign thoughts and release pent up emotions helps you sort out true priorities vs. the tyranny of the urgent. Quiet time allows one to temporarily disengage from the rat-race to find your humanity.
12/1/11
Becoming Whole
Everyone searches for identity, purpose, satisfaction and significance. We long for love, self-worth, meaning, fulfillment and happiness. We often come up short.
Life must be lived to be realized. Wholeness does not take place in a vacuum. Inner wholeness is expressed through relationships, work ethics, love and commitment. By God’s design, we were placed in community to rid us of the illusion that we are self-sufficient.
Only separate beings can engage in healthy relationships with family, friends, career, community responsibilities and civic duties. Whole individuals interact without becoming enmeshed. Without individuation, true relationship does not happen.
Take yourself out of the middle. Someone cannot put you in the middle of a situation without your consent. And no one can keep you from taking yourself out of the middle. Unless you are a trained negotiator that can analyze sides with impartial unemotional perspective, remove yourself from this middle position immediately. Minimizing your role in the drama.
Realize that you are neither the rescuer nor the protector. Yes feelings may be hurt. Yes blame may be placed on you. Interfere (i.e. justification and rationalization) keeps negative energy going and delays rational thinking that can resolve misunderstandings. A recovering client remarked: “Who knew that I needed to learn to say ‘NO’?”
Scarred yet whole. On a nature walk I found a pretty white rock. It looked as though a mower thrashed it, knocking out pieces. Even though it was scarred, it was pretty. The broken places showed its inner beauty and solid structure. I made the parallel to life issues. Although scarred, the individual has inner beauty; brokenness reveals inner substance and character.
Substance not stuff. When you do not need “stuff” or externals to prove your value, you shift to “I am enough.” This insight gives way to being thoughtful of self and others. As you respect yourself, you generate respect for you in others.
Emotions denied. Emotions can be so strong the only way to handle them is through denial. Denial is refusing to acknowledge facts. Think back on a hurtful situation and observe it from a place of detachment. See the offense from a place of disengagement. Truth hurts only when it is supposed to. Observe and let go. When we come to terms with truth – the good, the bad and the ugly – we are well on the way to wholeness.
Give serious thought to ways in which you may be your own worst enemy. Are your actions bringing relationships closer and more meaningful? Examine your attitude see if is the path of happiness and success or unhappiness and failure. Practice these suggestions first with those you are not so emotionally attached. As you become comfortable with your newfound behavior and attitude, begin dealing with family members in your new assertiveness
Mona Dunkin is a Motivational Speaker, Corporate Trainer and Personal Success Coach. Read past articles at www.monadunkin.blogspot.com. Contact her mona@monadunkin.com
Life must be lived to be realized. Wholeness does not take place in a vacuum. Inner wholeness is expressed through relationships, work ethics, love and commitment. By God’s design, we were placed in community to rid us of the illusion that we are self-sufficient.
Only separate beings can engage in healthy relationships with family, friends, career, community responsibilities and civic duties. Whole individuals interact without becoming enmeshed. Without individuation, true relationship does not happen.
Take yourself out of the middle. Someone cannot put you in the middle of a situation without your consent. And no one can keep you from taking yourself out of the middle. Unless you are a trained negotiator that can analyze sides with impartial unemotional perspective, remove yourself from this middle position immediately. Minimizing your role in the drama.
Realize that you are neither the rescuer nor the protector. Yes feelings may be hurt. Yes blame may be placed on you. Interfere (i.e. justification and rationalization) keeps negative energy going and delays rational thinking that can resolve misunderstandings. A recovering client remarked: “Who knew that I needed to learn to say ‘NO’?”
Scarred yet whole. On a nature walk I found a pretty white rock. It looked as though a mower thrashed it, knocking out pieces. Even though it was scarred, it was pretty. The broken places showed its inner beauty and solid structure. I made the parallel to life issues. Although scarred, the individual has inner beauty; brokenness reveals inner substance and character.
Substance not stuff. When you do not need “stuff” or externals to prove your value, you shift to “I am enough.” This insight gives way to being thoughtful of self and others. As you respect yourself, you generate respect for you in others.
Emotions denied. Emotions can be so strong the only way to handle them is through denial. Denial is refusing to acknowledge facts. Think back on a hurtful situation and observe it from a place of detachment. See the offense from a place of disengagement. Truth hurts only when it is supposed to. Observe and let go. When we come to terms with truth – the good, the bad and the ugly – we are well on the way to wholeness.
Give serious thought to ways in which you may be your own worst enemy. Are your actions bringing relationships closer and more meaningful? Examine your attitude see if is the path of happiness and success or unhappiness and failure. Practice these suggestions first with those you are not so emotionally attached. As you become comfortable with your newfound behavior and attitude, begin dealing with family members in your new assertiveness
Mona Dunkin is a Motivational Speaker, Corporate Trainer and Personal Success Coach. Read past articles at www.monadunkin.blogspot.com. Contact her mona@monadunkin.com
10/20/11
How To's of Meditation
Meditation is not another thing to do. It is an invitation to stop doing. It is an invitation to be true to you. Unfamiliar things seem strange, new things seems awkward and anything untried remains foreign. Here are suggestions for the practice of meditation.
Find a focal point. Concentrate on something constant and easily accessible - like your breath. Inhale deeply through your nose, taking the air all the way down into your diaphragm. Hold the breath for 2-3 seconds then exhale through pursed lips. This simple act promotes mindfulness of the moment. It releases the trauma of yesterday without rehearsing the tension of tomorrow. It also changes the chemical compounds in your body.
Picture it. We breathe in oxygen and breathe out carbon dioxide. Imagine the fresh oxygen circulating through every cell in your body picking up toxins and being released with an exhale. Put color into it. Breathe in relaxing blue and breathe out grey stress. Breathe in sunshine yellow and breathe out blackened depression. Direct the breath to an area of tension and – like WD40 – imaging it releasing the hold and setting free.
Find the secret place. The human condition regrets yesterday and worries about tomorrow, thus failing to live in the present. For a few minutes deliberately set aside the noise around you – people talking, the buzz of traffic, a ringing phone. For a few minutes deliberately set aside the noise inside you – the to-do list, the looming deadline, the guilt. Go inside yourself; to your interior. Go to the God-spot within you, the one placed there at the moment of your conception.
Melt tension. Meditation has been clinically proven to reduce levels of cortisol in the body. Cortisol is the culprit that holds negative stress in the body. It is the “fight-flight” chemical that keeps one revved up, unable to flow. Cortisol is also the hormone attributed to “cravings” as well as the storage of food into belly fat.
Discover serenity. Meditation has been shown in studies to decrease stress and increase production of endorphins, the brain’s “happy drug”. When endorphins are activated through quiet reflection a spirit of thankfulness overtakes stress; an over-all-good feeling settles in.
Become wholly integrated. We are a composite whole and cannot divide ourselves from ourselves. Through consistence practice of meditation the mind’s irrational rationalizations and judgmental justifications begin to slip away and truth becomes real. You made an unwise decision, you are not stupid. It is a difficult situation, it is not horrible. He made a bad choice, he is not the devil personified. She was harsh, she is not evil incarnate. With frequent times of quiet reflection, the mind chatter is calmed. You learn to just be, and that is enough. You learn to let frustrations float away.
As with exercise and healthy eating, meditation results are not as immediate as one might wish but they do work. And it is well worth the effort; paying off like compound interest.
Invite Mona to speak to your group. Whether business, organizational, civic or faith-based, you will be entertained with her humor, challenged by her gift of uncommon insights ad motivated by her thought provoking poems. mona@solutionprinciples.com
Find a focal point. Concentrate on something constant and easily accessible - like your breath. Inhale deeply through your nose, taking the air all the way down into your diaphragm. Hold the breath for 2-3 seconds then exhale through pursed lips. This simple act promotes mindfulness of the moment. It releases the trauma of yesterday without rehearsing the tension of tomorrow. It also changes the chemical compounds in your body.
Picture it. We breathe in oxygen and breathe out carbon dioxide. Imagine the fresh oxygen circulating through every cell in your body picking up toxins and being released with an exhale. Put color into it. Breathe in relaxing blue and breathe out grey stress. Breathe in sunshine yellow and breathe out blackened depression. Direct the breath to an area of tension and – like WD40 – imaging it releasing the hold and setting free.
Find the secret place. The human condition regrets yesterday and worries about tomorrow, thus failing to live in the present. For a few minutes deliberately set aside the noise around you – people talking, the buzz of traffic, a ringing phone. For a few minutes deliberately set aside the noise inside you – the to-do list, the looming deadline, the guilt. Go inside yourself; to your interior. Go to the God-spot within you, the one placed there at the moment of your conception.
Melt tension. Meditation has been clinically proven to reduce levels of cortisol in the body. Cortisol is the culprit that holds negative stress in the body. It is the “fight-flight” chemical that keeps one revved up, unable to flow. Cortisol is also the hormone attributed to “cravings” as well as the storage of food into belly fat.
Discover serenity. Meditation has been shown in studies to decrease stress and increase production of endorphins, the brain’s “happy drug”. When endorphins are activated through quiet reflection a spirit of thankfulness overtakes stress; an over-all-good feeling settles in.
Become wholly integrated. We are a composite whole and cannot divide ourselves from ourselves. Through consistence practice of meditation the mind’s irrational rationalizations and judgmental justifications begin to slip away and truth becomes real. You made an unwise decision, you are not stupid. It is a difficult situation, it is not horrible. He made a bad choice, he is not the devil personified. She was harsh, she is not evil incarnate. With frequent times of quiet reflection, the mind chatter is calmed. You learn to just be, and that is enough. You learn to let frustrations float away.
As with exercise and healthy eating, meditation results are not as immediate as one might wish but they do work. And it is well worth the effort; paying off like compound interest.
Invite Mona to speak to your group. Whether business, organizational, civic or faith-based, you will be entertained with her humor, challenged by her gift of uncommon insights ad motivated by her thought provoking poems. mona@solutionprinciples.com
4/28/11
Investment in Wellness
What does it mean to invest?
What does wellness or wholeness mean?
What are some synonyms of wellness?
If I could take all of these questions and boil them down to one concept that embodies the totality of wellness, it would be relationship. We meet all of our needs -directly or indirectly- through our relationships with others. The irony is that when we are out of sorts, we attack the very people we need.
It’s all about relationship. From the cradle to the grave, two universal human needs are to love and to serve. No matter the venue – home, family, workforce, salesmanship, community involvement, volunteer work, government, law enforcement, or breakthrough sciences like Albert Einstein’s Theory of Relativity, it is all about the state or quality of relating.
Relationship is about people skills. The foundation of people skills is about valuing the individual. Everything requires people. Everything is about people. We never get anything in life without having someone we need to thank. Psychiatrist William Glasser suggests that except for abject poverty, incurable illness or living under tyranny all human misery is a result of failure to have a good relationship with those people important to us.
Four great relationships of a lifetime. The four relationships include self, God (higher power), people in our quality world and the rest of the people in the world. All of these relationships are interconnected and affect each other.
Shakespeare had Hamlet to proclaim: “To thine own self be true and it follows as surely as night follows day thou canst not be false with any other man.”
What we give into the life of others comes back into our own. As we are true to self, we will be trustworthy in all our dealings with others. As we invest in determining self-motives, we will lessen judgments of others. As we genuinely assess our human flaws we become less critical of others. As we understand our humanity, we will have compassion for those weaker and appreciation of those stronger.
Anytime we are improving one relationship, by default we are improving all our relationships. Anytime we are destroying one relationship, by default we are destroying all our relationships. Even though circumstances change, all categories of relationships have value. All are worthy of investment of time and energy.
We welcome reprinting of articles in your newsletter or magazine, providing credit is given as follows: “This article was written by Mona Dunkin, Motivational Speaker and Personal Success Coach, www.monadunkin.blogspot.com or www.monadunkin.com.”
What does wellness or wholeness mean?
What are some synonyms of wellness?
If I could take all of these questions and boil them down to one concept that embodies the totality of wellness, it would be relationship. We meet all of our needs -directly or indirectly- through our relationships with others. The irony is that when we are out of sorts, we attack the very people we need.
It’s all about relationship. From the cradle to the grave, two universal human needs are to love and to serve. No matter the venue – home, family, workforce, salesmanship, community involvement, volunteer work, government, law enforcement, or breakthrough sciences like Albert Einstein’s Theory of Relativity, it is all about the state or quality of relating.
Relationship is about people skills. The foundation of people skills is about valuing the individual. Everything requires people. Everything is about people. We never get anything in life without having someone we need to thank. Psychiatrist William Glasser suggests that except for abject poverty, incurable illness or living under tyranny all human misery is a result of failure to have a good relationship with those people important to us.
Four great relationships of a lifetime. The four relationships include self, God (higher power), people in our quality world and the rest of the people in the world. All of these relationships are interconnected and affect each other.
Shakespeare had Hamlet to proclaim: “To thine own self be true and it follows as surely as night follows day thou canst not be false with any other man.”
What we give into the life of others comes back into our own. As we are true to self, we will be trustworthy in all our dealings with others. As we invest in determining self-motives, we will lessen judgments of others. As we genuinely assess our human flaws we become less critical of others. As we understand our humanity, we will have compassion for those weaker and appreciation of those stronger.
Anytime we are improving one relationship, by default we are improving all our relationships. Anytime we are destroying one relationship, by default we are destroying all our relationships. Even though circumstances change, all categories of relationships have value. All are worthy of investment of time and energy.
We welcome reprinting of articles in your newsletter or magazine, providing credit is given as follows: “This article was written by Mona Dunkin, Motivational Speaker and Personal Success Coach, www.monadunkin.blogspot.com or www.monadunkin.com.”
Investment in Wellness
What does it mean to invest?
What does wellness or wholeness mean?
What are some synonyms of wellness?
If I could take all of these questions and boil them down to one concept that embodies the totality of wellness, it would be relationship. We meet all of our needs -directly or indirectly- through our relationships with others. The irony is that when we are out of sorts, we attack the very people we need.
It’s all about relationship. From the cradle to the grave, two universal human needs are to love and to serve. No matter the venue – home, family, workforce, salesmanship, community involvement, volunteer work, government, law enforcement, or breakthrough sciences like Albert Einstein’s Theory of Relativity, it is all about the state or quality of relating.
Relationship is about people skills. The foundation of people skills is about valuing the individual. Everything requires people. Everything is about people. We never get anything in life without having someone we need to thank. Psychiatrist William Glasser suggests that except for abject poverty, incurable illness or living under tyranny all human misery is a result of failure to have a good relationship with those people important to us.
Four great relationships of a lifetime. The four relationships include self, God (higher power), people in our quality world and the rest of the people in the world. All of these relationships are interconnected and affect each other.
Shakespeare had Hamlet to proclaim: “To thine own self be true and it follows as surely as night follows day thou canst not be false with any other man.”
What we give into the life of others comes back into our own. As we are true to self, we will be trustworthy in all our dealings with others. As we invest in determining self-motives, we will lessen judgments of others. As we genuinely assess our human flaws we become less critical of others. As we understand our humanity, we will have compassion for those weaker and appreciation of those stronger.
Anytime we are improving one relationship, by default we are improving all our relationships. Anytime we are destroying one relationship, by default we are destroying all our relationships. Even though circumstances change, all categories of relationships have value. All are worthy of investment of time and energy.
We welcome reprinting of articles in your newsletter or magazine, providing credit is given as follows: “This article was written by Mona Dunkin, Motivational Speaker and Personal Success Coach, www.monadunkin.blogspot.com or www.monadunkin.com.”
What does wellness or wholeness mean?
What are some synonyms of wellness?
If I could take all of these questions and boil them down to one concept that embodies the totality of wellness, it would be relationship. We meet all of our needs -directly or indirectly- through our relationships with others. The irony is that when we are out of sorts, we attack the very people we need.
It’s all about relationship. From the cradle to the grave, two universal human needs are to love and to serve. No matter the venue – home, family, workforce, salesmanship, community involvement, volunteer work, government, law enforcement, or breakthrough sciences like Albert Einstein’s Theory of Relativity, it is all about the state or quality of relating.
Relationship is about people skills. The foundation of people skills is about valuing the individual. Everything requires people. Everything is about people. We never get anything in life without having someone we need to thank. Psychiatrist William Glasser suggests that except for abject poverty, incurable illness or living under tyranny all human misery is a result of failure to have a good relationship with those people important to us.
Four great relationships of a lifetime. The four relationships include self, God (higher power), people in our quality world and the rest of the people in the world. All of these relationships are interconnected and affect each other.
Shakespeare had Hamlet to proclaim: “To thine own self be true and it follows as surely as night follows day thou canst not be false with any other man.”
What we give into the life of others comes back into our own. As we are true to self, we will be trustworthy in all our dealings with others. As we invest in determining self-motives, we will lessen judgments of others. As we genuinely assess our human flaws we become less critical of others. As we understand our humanity, we will have compassion for those weaker and appreciation of those stronger.
Anytime we are improving one relationship, by default we are improving all our relationships. Anytime we are destroying one relationship, by default we are destroying all our relationships. Even though circumstances change, all categories of relationships have value. All are worthy of investment of time and energy.
We welcome reprinting of articles in your newsletter or magazine, providing credit is given as follows: “This article was written by Mona Dunkin, Motivational Speaker and Personal Success Coach, www.monadunkin.blogspot.com or www.monadunkin.com.”
2/3/11
Memory Boosters
No matter one’s age, all have periodic memory glitches. Can’t find your keys? Is it that you are losing your mind or that you were preoccupied as you rushed to a task? Stop and refocus. Take a deep breath and mentally retrace your steps. As you designate a home for frequently used items your automatic pilot will put them where they belong.
Reduce the stress. Worry and rushing tax the brain and constricts the ability to think. When you do not have time it becomes imperative that you take time to slow down and relax. Take a minute of quiet meditation to allow mind and body to reconnect. Whatever calms the body also clarifies the mind. It also becomes imperative that you say “No” when it is in your own best interest.
Obtain restful sleep. Lack of sleep hinders concentration and logical thinking. Sleep is the brain’s accounting system, taking information gathered during waking hours and placing it into long-term storage. Sleep categorizes it for easy retrieval. Seven to eight hours per night is recommended for adults and may require a healthy dose of self-love to train yourself to nurture you. Adding just thirty minutes per night on a regular basis can enhance your memory, increase your alertness and improve your overall health.
Do one thing at a time. Multitasking is the enemy of concentration. Answering an e-mail while listening to your mate's problem is not only self-defeating, it is also destroys relationship. Ego makes us think we can juggle many things but research shows we are kidding ourselves. And become less effective in the process. We forget promises made, redo tasks already completed, fail to recall where items are stored, disregard commitments, ignore purpose and neglect self-care. The secret to concentration is elimination.
Be present. Failure to pay attention produces sloppy results. Routine tasks often cause one to go into auto pilot, thus doing things without awareness. This is handy for such things as brushing your teeth but deadly when driving a car. Mindlessness is a contributor to dysfunctional relationships.
Get moving. Physical activity increase blood flow and oxygen to the brain for clearer thinking. An active lifestyle also generates the formation of new neurons and connectors. Although thirty minute spurts three or more times a week is ideal, some is better than none.
Enjoy brain foods. Our bodies need good fuel to produce maximum results. Brain foods include omega-3 fatty acids (salmon, soybeans, flaxseed), antioxidants (berries, green veggies), folate (orange juice, leafy vegetables) and water.
Yes, we are getting older and there is some truth to age affecting memory. Everyone forgets things at times but when it is time to seek professional help? Here are danger signs for you or someone you love:
• consistently forgetting common words or confusing the names of people or things
• one becomes disoriented in familiar surroundings such as your own home or neighborhood
• persistent foggy thinking or trouble concentrating
• difficulty performing common tasks such as grooming or running the microwave
• mood swings, erratic behavior or dramatic personality changes
NEED A MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKER: One of America's most interesting motivational speakers can be enjoyed in person in a presentation tailored to your specific need. Whether organizational, business or civic, you will be entertained with her humor, challenged with her gift of uncommon insights, and motivated by her thought provoking poems. Contact Mona at 254-749-6594 or mdunkin@flash.net.
Reduce the stress. Worry and rushing tax the brain and constricts the ability to think. When you do not have time it becomes imperative that you take time to slow down and relax. Take a minute of quiet meditation to allow mind and body to reconnect. Whatever calms the body also clarifies the mind. It also becomes imperative that you say “No” when it is in your own best interest.
Obtain restful sleep. Lack of sleep hinders concentration and logical thinking. Sleep is the brain’s accounting system, taking information gathered during waking hours and placing it into long-term storage. Sleep categorizes it for easy retrieval. Seven to eight hours per night is recommended for adults and may require a healthy dose of self-love to train yourself to nurture you. Adding just thirty minutes per night on a regular basis can enhance your memory, increase your alertness and improve your overall health.
Do one thing at a time. Multitasking is the enemy of concentration. Answering an e-mail while listening to your mate's problem is not only self-defeating, it is also destroys relationship. Ego makes us think we can juggle many things but research shows we are kidding ourselves. And become less effective in the process. We forget promises made, redo tasks already completed, fail to recall where items are stored, disregard commitments, ignore purpose and neglect self-care. The secret to concentration is elimination.
Be present. Failure to pay attention produces sloppy results. Routine tasks often cause one to go into auto pilot, thus doing things without awareness. This is handy for such things as brushing your teeth but deadly when driving a car. Mindlessness is a contributor to dysfunctional relationships.
Get moving. Physical activity increase blood flow and oxygen to the brain for clearer thinking. An active lifestyle also generates the formation of new neurons and connectors. Although thirty minute spurts three or more times a week is ideal, some is better than none.
Enjoy brain foods. Our bodies need good fuel to produce maximum results. Brain foods include omega-3 fatty acids (salmon, soybeans, flaxseed), antioxidants (berries, green veggies), folate (orange juice, leafy vegetables) and water.
Yes, we are getting older and there is some truth to age affecting memory. Everyone forgets things at times but when it is time to seek professional help? Here are danger signs for you or someone you love:
• consistently forgetting common words or confusing the names of people or things
• one becomes disoriented in familiar surroundings such as your own home or neighborhood
• persistent foggy thinking or trouble concentrating
• difficulty performing common tasks such as grooming or running the microwave
• mood swings, erratic behavior or dramatic personality changes
NEED A MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKER: One of America's most interesting motivational speakers can be enjoyed in person in a presentation tailored to your specific need. Whether organizational, business or civic, you will be entertained with her humor, challenged with her gift of uncommon insights, and motivated by her thought provoking poems. Contact Mona at 254-749-6594 or mdunkin@flash.net.
10/6/10
Benefits of Getting Your Z's
Every parent knows that a cranky child is more pleasant after her “beauty sleep”. It works for adults too. If your life has become so busy that you have decided to give up on sleep, please reconsider. There are numerous benefits. Here area few.
Sleep aids in the processing of emotions. REM is when sleep experts say dreaming takes place. Supposedly we start by reviewing the events of the day and trying to make sense of them. Thus the right-brain/left-brain battle brings on some weird images or nightmares. As the night progresses these issues are settled and dreams become more positive, going into the realm of problem solving and goal setting type of daydreaming. What a shame to get too few hours sleep and miss out on this beneficial imagery.
Sleep helps to balance perspectives. Research says that because of the right-brain, left-brain switch over during sleep, one’s dream state gives more input and creativity than one’s awakened state. Also, in the relaxation of sleep, the intuitive side willingly receives new insight from the logical side.
The old recommendation to “sleep on it” bears a lot of truth. While your body is being reset through the restful mechanics of sleep, the mind is fully active, exploring through buried files unhindered by conscious thought. The engaged mind reviews and sorts and categorizes and comes to conclusions. Even though it happens frequently, I am still impressed when I awaken with the answer to last night’s cross-word puzzler.
Sleep helps elongates short term memory. Harvard University studies taken from different angles, has impressive research showing sleep improves information storage. Students that study intensely followed by sleep then awaken to testing, scored consistently higher than students who studied intently then immediately was tested while “it was still fresh on their mind.” There is something mysterious about sleeping that allows the mind to better understand information, associate it with prior knowledge, store it and easily retrieve it later.
Experts say the amount of regular sleep effects one’s overall weight. Too little restful sleep the more pounds on the frame and the more difficulty in losing weight.
Sleep resets our systems. As a person who functioned well on only a few hours of sleep, I was reluctant to stay abed longer. All of these benefits have been motivators to me to and have definitely improved my life and health. It may take a while to learn new sleep habits and it is well worth the effort.
We welcome reprinting of articles in your newsletter or magazine, providing credit is given as follows: “This article was written by Mona Dunkin, Motivational Speaker and Personal Success Coach, www.monadunkin.blogspot.com or www.monadunkin.com.”
Sleep aids in the processing of emotions. REM is when sleep experts say dreaming takes place. Supposedly we start by reviewing the events of the day and trying to make sense of them. Thus the right-brain/left-brain battle brings on some weird images or nightmares. As the night progresses these issues are settled and dreams become more positive, going into the realm of problem solving and goal setting type of daydreaming. What a shame to get too few hours sleep and miss out on this beneficial imagery.
Sleep helps to balance perspectives. Research says that because of the right-brain, left-brain switch over during sleep, one’s dream state gives more input and creativity than one’s awakened state. Also, in the relaxation of sleep, the intuitive side willingly receives new insight from the logical side.
The old recommendation to “sleep on it” bears a lot of truth. While your body is being reset through the restful mechanics of sleep, the mind is fully active, exploring through buried files unhindered by conscious thought. The engaged mind reviews and sorts and categorizes and comes to conclusions. Even though it happens frequently, I am still impressed when I awaken with the answer to last night’s cross-word puzzler.
Sleep helps elongates short term memory. Harvard University studies taken from different angles, has impressive research showing sleep improves information storage. Students that study intensely followed by sleep then awaken to testing, scored consistently higher than students who studied intently then immediately was tested while “it was still fresh on their mind.” There is something mysterious about sleeping that allows the mind to better understand information, associate it with prior knowledge, store it and easily retrieve it later.
Experts say the amount of regular sleep effects one’s overall weight. Too little restful sleep the more pounds on the frame and the more difficulty in losing weight.
Sleep resets our systems. As a person who functioned well on only a few hours of sleep, I was reluctant to stay abed longer. All of these benefits have been motivators to me to and have definitely improved my life and health. It may take a while to learn new sleep habits and it is well worth the effort.
We welcome reprinting of articles in your newsletter or magazine, providing credit is given as follows: “This article was written by Mona Dunkin, Motivational Speaker and Personal Success Coach, www.monadunkin.blogspot.com or www.monadunkin.com.”
6/11/10
Pictures of You
Nothing shapes relationships and success like the picture you have of yourself. The trouble is we often assume our identity based on hearsay, and therefore, give too much weight to what others say. Although you are a product of your environment you can choose to not be victimized by it. When you feel valued for being yourself, a healthy body image comes naturally.
Allow the following questions to aid in your search for self-discovery.
What identity have you assumed without giving thought to? Even positive labels can be difficult as it sets up always trying to meet someone else’s standard of you. (You will never amount to anything? You are the smart one.)
How have you been victimized by your environment? (Men are the boss. A woman is supposed to make everyone happy. Kids are to be seen and not heard.) Your turn.
Learn to love you. Get to know the wonderful being you are. Listen to your own heartbeat and be willing to follow your dreams. Make friends with your conscience and heed its guidance. Experiment with your talents and creativity. Fine tune your unique personality and sense of humor. What innate gifts and talents have you been ignoring?
Process of elimination. Figure out who you are by figuring out who you are not. When you know who you do not want to be or what you do not want to do, you are ready to chart your own course. Focus on who you want to become and it is easier to relinquish the thought habits that are keeping you bound. List at least three things that you are not. (I am not a push over. I do not use fowl language. I am not a play thing to be used.)
Send fear packing. When fear of becoming who you are knocks on your door, allow faith to answer. Instead of inviting him in, put your hand up as if to block entrance while firmly saying “Stop” aloud. Embrace the seed of hope that plants. Determine five things you will say “stop” to.
Live in integrity and within your unique calling, personality and style. Be the best you possible, not a makeover of someone else, not the embodiment of another’s ideal of you, but the you that you were created and gifted to become. Grooming has its place, but you are more than your hair, or your grades, or your job, or whatever limited label you have ascribed to you. What have you labeled yourself as that you are more than? (I am more than my education… my family… my associates… my past…)
Decrease harmful materialism. Do not use stuff as proof of your self-worth. Putting material things in their proper place increases personal satisfaction, contentment, creativity and community. It also improved psychological health. What have you been using to prove your self-worth? (Wardrobe? Car? Home? Job? Education? Athletic kids? Mate’s success?)
Foster a healthy selfishness. It is okay to take care of you. What you want matters. Follow the airlines suggestion and “put on your oxygen mask first” before helping another. As you take care of you, it becomes easier to be selfless. How are you neglecting you? (I go to work even when I am sick. I put my others wants/needs above mine. I do whatever my mate wants and never voice my opinion. I agree with others even when I do not agree.)
Discover the foundation of happiness. It is more internal qualities than external beauty. Happy people are less self-centered and more loving, helpful, forgiving, trusting social, involved, decisive and energetic. What internal foundation of happiness have you been ignoring? (I enjoy gardening. I like to read.) What foundation of happiness have you been fostering and feeling guilty over because it does not meet another’s standard? (I choose to be a stay-at-home parent. I choose to drive an older vehicle to remain debt free.)
People overcome negative influences every day and you can too. You are a product of your environment, but can choose to not be victimized by it. Enjoy the exciting adventure of discovery – a journey that never ends. Give three specifics ways in which you will overcome.
(I will speak up even when I feel intimidated. I will not say “Yes” when it is not in my best interest.)
Allow the following questions to aid in your search for self-discovery.
What identity have you assumed without giving thought to? Even positive labels can be difficult as it sets up always trying to meet someone else’s standard of you. (You will never amount to anything? You are the smart one.)
How have you been victimized by your environment? (Men are the boss. A woman is supposed to make everyone happy. Kids are to be seen and not heard.) Your turn.
Learn to love you. Get to know the wonderful being you are. Listen to your own heartbeat and be willing to follow your dreams. Make friends with your conscience and heed its guidance. Experiment with your talents and creativity. Fine tune your unique personality and sense of humor. What innate gifts and talents have you been ignoring?
Process of elimination. Figure out who you are by figuring out who you are not. When you know who you do not want to be or what you do not want to do, you are ready to chart your own course. Focus on who you want to become and it is easier to relinquish the thought habits that are keeping you bound. List at least three things that you are not. (I am not a push over. I do not use fowl language. I am not a play thing to be used.)
Send fear packing. When fear of becoming who you are knocks on your door, allow faith to answer. Instead of inviting him in, put your hand up as if to block entrance while firmly saying “Stop” aloud. Embrace the seed of hope that plants. Determine five things you will say “stop” to.
Live in integrity and within your unique calling, personality and style. Be the best you possible, not a makeover of someone else, not the embodiment of another’s ideal of you, but the you that you were created and gifted to become. Grooming has its place, but you are more than your hair, or your grades, or your job, or whatever limited label you have ascribed to you. What have you labeled yourself as that you are more than? (I am more than my education… my family… my associates… my past…)
Decrease harmful materialism. Do not use stuff as proof of your self-worth. Putting material things in their proper place increases personal satisfaction, contentment, creativity and community. It also improved psychological health. What have you been using to prove your self-worth? (Wardrobe? Car? Home? Job? Education? Athletic kids? Mate’s success?)
Foster a healthy selfishness. It is okay to take care of you. What you want matters. Follow the airlines suggestion and “put on your oxygen mask first” before helping another. As you take care of you, it becomes easier to be selfless. How are you neglecting you? (I go to work even when I am sick. I put my others wants/needs above mine. I do whatever my mate wants and never voice my opinion. I agree with others even when I do not agree.)
Discover the foundation of happiness. It is more internal qualities than external beauty. Happy people are less self-centered and more loving, helpful, forgiving, trusting social, involved, decisive and energetic. What internal foundation of happiness have you been ignoring? (I enjoy gardening. I like to read.) What foundation of happiness have you been fostering and feeling guilty over because it does not meet another’s standard? (I choose to be a stay-at-home parent. I choose to drive an older vehicle to remain debt free.)
People overcome negative influences every day and you can too. You are a product of your environment, but can choose to not be victimized by it. Enjoy the exciting adventure of discovery – a journey that never ends. Give three specifics ways in which you will overcome.
(I will speak up even when I feel intimidated. I will not say “Yes” when it is not in my best interest.)
2/2/10
Health Issues: Factual and Actual
In a recent Upper Room devotional, the following plea was included: “God show me what to do to help You help me.”
I like that.
Factual Causes of Death
Heart Disease
Cancer
Stroke
Lung Disease
Accidents
Diabetes
Pneumonia/Flu
Actual Causes of Death
Tobacco
Alcohol
Diet/Activity Patterns
Microbial Agents
Toxic Agents
Motor Vehicles
Firearms
Sexual Behavior
Illicit Use of Drugs
The “Factual” cause of death is what is listed on the death certificate, whereas the “Actual” cause of death is lifestyle factors. Five of the nine actual causes are directly within our control. Here are some things I am doing to motivate me to be disciplined in the area of physical wellness.
Just do it. It’s Nike time! Exercise in the AM and I don’t dread it the rest of the day.
Some is better than none. A short walk is better than no walk. Stretching helps. A few bites can stave off the binge. Small portions are filling when eaten slowly.
Keep moving. I recently observed a teen maneuver his skate board up an incline merely by twisting his hips. This small action propelled him forward. I wondered if a little shake would stimulate my sluggish metabolism. So now I twist while brushing my teeth. And on other non-observable occasions.
It is not “to die for”. Since adopting this mantra it is becoming easier to say “No” to tempting treats, second helpings, chips and late night snacks.
Practice makes permanent. Practice makes perfect only when we are practicing correctly. Brushing my teeth is a habit. Just as a fuzzy mouth motivates me to use my toothbrush, I have heard, and look forward to, the day when lethargy will spur me into action.
Habits are changed through insight and commitment. How about we do it together.
We welcome reprinting of articles in your newsletter or magazine, providing credit is given as follows: “This article was written by Mona Dunkin, Motivational Speaker and Personal Success Coach, www.monadunkin.blogspot.com or www.monadunkin.com.”
I like that.
The problem in my life is not so much a lack of knowledge, as much as it is a lack of application. It is not not knowing, but not doing.
Dr. Mark DeHaven, founder of the GoodNEWS wellness program, compiled the following information.
Dr. Mark DeHaven, founder of the GoodNEWS wellness program, compiled the following information.
Factual Causes of Death
Heart Disease
Cancer
Stroke
Lung Disease
Accidents
Diabetes
Pneumonia/Flu
Actual Causes of Death
Tobacco
Alcohol
Diet/Activity Patterns
Microbial Agents
Toxic Agents
Motor Vehicles
Firearms
Sexual Behavior
Illicit Use of Drugs
The “Factual” cause of death is what is listed on the death certificate, whereas the “Actual” cause of death is lifestyle factors. Five of the nine actual causes are directly within our control. Here are some things I am doing to motivate me to be disciplined in the area of physical wellness.
Just do it. It’s Nike time! Exercise in the AM and I don’t dread it the rest of the day.
Some is better than none. A short walk is better than no walk. Stretching helps. A few bites can stave off the binge. Small portions are filling when eaten slowly.
Keep moving. I recently observed a teen maneuver his skate board up an incline merely by twisting his hips. This small action propelled him forward. I wondered if a little shake would stimulate my sluggish metabolism. So now I twist while brushing my teeth. And on other non-observable occasions.
It is not “to die for”. Since adopting this mantra it is becoming easier to say “No” to tempting treats, second helpings, chips and late night snacks.
Practice makes permanent. Practice makes perfect only when we are practicing correctly. Brushing my teeth is a habit. Just as a fuzzy mouth motivates me to use my toothbrush, I have heard, and look forward to, the day when lethargy will spur me into action.
Habits are changed through insight and commitment. How about we do it together.
We welcome reprinting of articles in your newsletter or magazine, providing credit is given as follows: “This article was written by Mona Dunkin, Motivational Speaker and Personal Success Coach, www.monadunkin.blogspot.com or www.monadunkin.com.”
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