Dr. Laura’s theme song shouts, “Get a new attitude.” Can a negative thinker refocus and become more positive? From personal experience as well as the progress of my clients, I believe it is possible to change one’s outlook. Here are suggestions for the transformation from negative to positive.
Reason your way out of negativity. Reevaluate your assumptions. How many times have you looked for the worse and it did not happen? Things actually turned out okay. Were you dismayed or thankful? Keep track of your inaccurate downer predictions. Be thankful for being wrong. Be thankful for being right but still surviving.
Develop new pictures. We think in pictures and unconsciously replay the mind’s photo album. Force yourself to conjure up positive scenarios. Instead of projecting what could go wrong, focus on what is right. When things are less than perfect, use your pre-disposed downer attitude to see how bad it could have been. Be thankful things are as good as they are.
Acknowledge lack of control. Misery comes from the failure to accept what is. Concede to those things over which you have no control or little control. Things like another person, the weather, the stock market, down turn in the economy, war, crime, loss, tragedies…. If you cannot do anything about it anyway, why fret. Through the intentional development of a positive view you put yourself in a position to become a problem solver, an encourager or a helpful influence.
Do what comes unnaturally. Go against the grain and choose to do what does not come naturally. In routine situations where you would normally spout criticism, pause to deliberately keep your mouth shut and to intentionally - with conscious effort – look for something good. This implies work, focus and resolve. Be persistent and do not give up.
Become positive in seeing the positive.
Be aware. Notice how a positive attitude will serve you well. In frustrating situations ask yourself the following questions. Deep thinking about these questions will help you find solutions and peace and improved relationships all around - with you and others.
What do I want?
What do I really want?
What are you doing to get what you really want?
Is it working?
Is it really working?
What makes it work?
Why is it not working?
Where is the locus of control?
Give change time. All skills have a learning curve. Be persistent and do not give up.
A client remarked one day, “I’ve changed, but I don’t know when it happened.”
When you decide to consciously realign your thought habits, things take on a different perspective. Keep on keeping on until your new overcoming attitude comes naturally who you are.
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