Nothing shapes relationships and success like the picture you have of yourself. The trouble is we often assume our identity based on hearsay, and therefore, give too much weight to what others say. Although you are a product of your environment you can choose to not be victimized by it. When you feel valued for being yourself, a healthy body image comes naturally.
Allow the following questions to aid in your search for self-discovery.
What identity have you assumed without giving thought to? Even positive labels can be difficult as it sets up always trying to meet someone else’s standard of you. (You will never amount to anything? You are the smart one.)
How have you been victimized by your environment? (Men are the boss. A woman is supposed to make everyone happy. Kids are to be seen and not heard.) Your turn.
Learn to love you. Get to know the wonderful being you are. Listen to your own heartbeat and be willing to follow your dreams. Make friends with your conscience and heed its guidance. Experiment with your talents and creativity. Fine tune your unique personality and sense of humor. What innate gifts and talents have you been ignoring?
Process of elimination. Figure out who you are by figuring out who you are not. When you know who you do not want to be or what you do not want to do, you are ready to chart your own course. Focus on who you want to become and it is easier to relinquish the thought habits that are keeping you bound. List at least three things that you are not. (I am not a push over. I do not use fowl language. I am not a play thing to be used.)
Send fear packing. When fear of becoming who you are knocks on your door, allow faith to answer. Instead of inviting him in, put your hand up as if to block entrance while firmly saying “Stop” aloud. Embrace the seed of hope that plants. Determine five things you will say “stop” to.
Live in integrity and within your unique calling, personality and style. Be the best you possible, not a makeover of someone else, not the embodiment of another’s ideal of you, but the you that you were created and gifted to become. Grooming has its place, but you are more than your hair, or your grades, or your job, or whatever limited label you have ascribed to you. What have you labeled yourself as that you are more than? (I am more than my education… my family… my associates… my past…)
Decrease harmful materialism. Do not use stuff as proof of your self-worth. Putting material things in their proper place increases personal satisfaction, contentment, creativity and community. It also improved psychological health. What have you been using to prove your self-worth? (Wardrobe? Car? Home? Job? Education? Athletic kids? Mate’s success?)
Foster a healthy selfishness. It is okay to take care of you. What you want matters. Follow the airlines suggestion and “put on your oxygen mask first” before helping another. As you take care of you, it becomes easier to be selfless. How are you neglecting you? (I go to work even when I am sick. I put my others wants/needs above mine. I do whatever my mate wants and never voice my opinion. I agree with others even when I do not agree.)
Discover the foundation of happiness. It is more internal qualities than external beauty. Happy people are less self-centered and more loving, helpful, forgiving, trusting social, involved, decisive and energetic. What internal foundation of happiness have you been ignoring? (I enjoy gardening. I like to read.) What foundation of happiness have you been fostering and feeling guilty over because it does not meet another’s standard? (I choose to be a stay-at-home parent. I choose to drive an older vehicle to remain debt free.)
People overcome negative influences every day and you can too. You are a product of your environment, but can choose to not be victimized by it. Enjoy the exciting adventure of discovery – a journey that never ends. Give three specifics ways in which you will overcome.
(I will speak up even when I feel intimidated. I will not say “Yes” when it is not in my best interest.)
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