7/7/10

Complain No More: The Power of Appreciation

“There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so”. Hamlet, Shakespeare

We create our own meaning from life experiences. If Shakespear was right, then we give meaning to our life incidents. Since we do give them meaning, we can decide to reframe the situation to improve our quality world.

To be little is to be little. Complaining about even the most inept mate or boss makes you look worse than they. It is ineffective and brings no resolve.

Incorporate Grace. Taking an arrogant stance makes it difficult to be gracious when proven wrong – and there is always a margin for error.

Keep a complaint log. Make yourself aware of the frequency of your complaints by writing them down instead of speaking them. Not only would the silence improve the relationship, but it would also show you what a time waster complaining is. In time, you will see how petty complaining is.

Make a decision. Habits do not change by chance. Get honest about your habit of criticizing and make a conscious decision to quit. If necessary, literally bite your tongue to keep from speaking. In the long run, you will see positive results.

Be a good finder. Search to see how there could possibly be a positive outcome and focus on that. Ask yourself: “What good will my complaining do?” “Does complaining help my relationships?” “Does critizing draw people to me?”

Develop appreciation. Daily make a list of five things for which you are thankful. Continue for thirty days without repeating an item. This exercise forces you to look deep and see meaning in life and relationships. Get in touch with what you truly value and be motivated by your deepest beliefs. It helps you see the big picture. When you focus on an individual’s good qualities, you are more lenient with their flaws.

Feel the maturity level rise. Discover the wisdom of overlooking small indiscretions. Love covers a multitude of sins. Live with a gracious attitude of forgiving whether asked for it or not.

Anything that appreciates goes up in value. As you appreciate self and others the need to complain diminishes. Nurture self. The irony is - self-nurture leads to self-esteem that leads to being selfless. As one becomes less focused on self, he is not easily offended thus complaints subside.

We welcome reprinting of articles in your newsletter or magazine, providing credit is given as follows: “This article was written by Mona Dunkin, Motivational Speaker and Personal Success Coach, www.monadunkin.blogspot.com or www.monadunkin.com.”

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