Speak Up

It happens almost unnoticed. You overlook a discrepancy in an attempt to be nice. But it keeps happening. Rather than speak up about the real issue, you make cutting remarks or unpleasant facial expressions. You begin to “mind-read” about his/her meaning or intentions. The relationship becomes strained.

You do not effect change by remaining passive. Making a decision and speaking up does. Prioritizing your life and sticking with it does. Stepping out of your comfort (discomfort) zone does. Taking a risk to ruffle feathers does. Look at the larger picture and pick two or three things you want to be different. Concentrate on those and add to as you gain strength to be your own person.

You cannot control another person but you can take back control of your life. This upsets the “business as usual” routine and, by default, the other person does change; either for the better, for the worse, or a casual no big deal.

Think through your position by giving careful consideration to both sides. What the deal-breaker is and how you may have unwittingly allowed it to progress. Even so, carefully worded phrases may be misunderstood. No matter your clarity in expressing your desires, you cannot control how the other party will receive it. Or what will be said in return.

Remaining passive is not peacemaking. Sometimes making peace requires roiling the waters for scum to come to the top to be skimmed off. At times, things need to be disturbed so they can be settled. There may be accusations of your inconsistency. Be willing to listen and consider without automatically defending self.

Addressing the issue shows you will not remain silent and just take it. It helps to set needed boundaries. It shows you have guts and will not allow the disregard to continue. It demonstrates you are reasonable and willing to solve issues. It expresses your value in the relationship.

Please share your comments or experiences.

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