Overcoming Criticism

Nobody likes to be criticized, yet there are times when critical input is, well, critical. When do you want to know that the boat won’t float? While it is still ashore? Or when it is in the middle of the ocean?

Even though the critique may be hurtful, one can respond in a manner that fosters relationship as well as self-improvement. When we graciously handle the initial sting, rational thinking returns.

Disconnect to reconnect. When you feel you are attacked, give pause. Take a deep breath to expel pent up emotions and reconnect with unbiased thinking. Reply with civility and tempered emotional detachment.

Help the critic to rethink his position with a suggestion such as, “Should we scrap the project completely or are there parts that are salvageable?”

Respond rather than react. Reacting is like pushing the “send” button too quickly. It is gone and you can’t take it back. Responding is giving rational thought before defending or denying. Responding is the willingness to be open and vulnerable.

Reframe the situation. In old black and white negatives, black is shown as white and white is shown as black. Rather than automatically dismissing a critique, give it the benefit of the doubt.

Be objective by asking yourself evaluating questions such as:

“What may I have overlooked?”

“What is coloring my view-point?”

“What additional information could be needed?”

Choose to value the person. In any exchange, all we can give is information. His/her information may or may not be valid; his/her personhood always is. We get comfortable with our ideas and mode of expression. “If the shoe fits…” wearing it may be more palpable with a cushion. The decision to make relationship more important than being right can wonderfully lead to both.

Overcoming criticism is a two-sided coin: how to receive the information and how to respond to the informer. Through thought and practice both can be mastered in a win-win approach.

Please let me hear from you. Thank you for your friendship, your business and your continued support. Let’s reach our goals together.

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