Communication Blocks

If you think communication is all talking, you haven’t been listening. Communication is the sharing of information or ideas in a manner that is clearly understood by the listener or reader. To become a better communicator, consider the following blocks that may be keys in your projection or in your understanding.

Picture it. We speak in words but think in pictures. If we do not get the picture, we do not get the concept. Because words have different meanings, conflicting pictures are drawn. When I say “cat” what do you see? Is he full grown or small? What color? What setting is he in? What if you had never seen a Kristom Leedom cat (bald and wrinkly) or a Manx with no tail?

Life experiences. The pictures projected in our mind are in direct correlation to one’s life experiences. The mind continually searches your “life history file” for similar smells, tastes, sights, audios or feelings to make a connection. Even when the retrieved data is akin, it does not exactly match the sender’s information because each individual is unique in how situations affect him or her.

The speed bump. We process words faster than understanding. The person giving the information has the whole picture (from his/her point of view). We do not know where the other person is coming from or what picture he/she is seeing. It is like being blindfolded and asked to describe what is placed in your hand. A familiar object, such as a ball, may be readily identified but will still have missing images such as color and size.

Imagination is a factor. There are no gaps in communication because the mind fills in the voids. Fills in with what? Life experiences. Or tries to. The individual with limited life exposure or poor imaging does not have a clue how to fix the problem. He does not understand why he cannot communicate with another so he “gets it”. When the sender cannot communicate with the receiver, he responds negatively, in anger or gives up. “Forget it”. “Why try?” “I’m dumb.”

There is a wide range of imaging ability: very poor, good, excellent or even bizarre. If there were no bizarre imaginations there would be no new inventions or science fiction.

Unkind labels. When the listener does not grasp the picture the sender is intending, there is a block in communication – and even more harmful – labels are attached. He is assumed to not be paying attention. Or she is not listening. Or does not care. Or is dumb. Lazy. Slow learner. Stupid. Oppositional.

What I say, plus what you hear. What does it equal? What I have said? What you have heard? Neither? Where is the break down? With the receiver? With the sender? Both? If your message is not getting across, spend time thinking and learning how better to express yourself. If you are not receiving information well, spend time thinking and learning how to be more understanding and patient and develop empathy. The relationship is worth the effort.


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