6/15/09

Perception and Reality

Your perception is your reality. Only it may not be a true reality. A hard reality to receive is that our vision may be blurred and our opinions biased. The saying that “Truth hurts” is only relevant when the truth is supposed to hurt. If any of these thoughts give you an “Ouch”, challenge your perception versus reality.

The lenses we look through determine our viewpoint. I am reminded of a story of a family that moved to a new location. On the outskirts of town, the Dad approached an elderly gentleman as to the kind of city it was. The gentleman asked, “The place you are moving from, what was it like?”

The man exclaimed, “Oh, I am so glad to get out of there. We hated it. My job stank, the schools are horrible, our neighbors were the worst, people are rude and the police are crooked.”

The old gentleman replied. “I think you will find this place much the same way.”

Another traveler encountered the old gentleman and explained, “My family and I have been transferred here, what kind of city is it?”

The old gentleman inquired, “The place you are moving from, what was it like?”

The second man replied, “It was real hard for us to leave. We loved it. My job was challenging, my co-workers were helpful, the community was great and the schools were wonderful.”

The old gentleman replied. “I think you will find this place much the same way.”
Perception is multifaceted. Perception is shaped by our unique personality, expectations, values and hopes. It is formed by our distinctive experiences and the way we see and understand the world. It is shaped by culture and the way we were taught to deal with situations and the meaning placed on events.

The interpretation you render is not necessarily truth, it is simply your viewpoint based on the complex meshing of a lifetime of experiences. However, these beliefs have a powerful impact on your present and your future. The answers you give are not necessarily facts; they are merely your biased interpretation (even though you may declare them unbiased).

Perception impacts the way you present yourself. People act and speak the way they feel about themselves, whether that is a wallflower or a braggart. The reason one’s life perception is important is because people seek experiences that reinforce their belief. If you believe yourself to be stupid you will see a wise choice as a fluke.

We act on our perceptions. I had a client who was the motivating force in her husband’s health walking regiment. She resented his inertia and only acting at her participation. She saw herself as a nag, or worse yet, as his “mommie”. I encouraged her to see herself as his coach. Sometimes we need to “change the noun.” What a difference a slight change of view makes.

Have the goal of an open mind. Rather than being locked into your limited perspective, be willing to receive information, either to add to or take away. Challenge your current beliefs as to how they affect the life you are choosing to live.

DON’T COPE, OVERCOME: Being grateful in the midst of difficulty gives perspective into the reason for the pain. Once reason is understood, solution is forthcoming

Mona Dunkin is a Motivational Speaker, Corporate Trainer and Personal Success Coach. Contact her at mdunkin@flash.net.

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