How to Think Objectively

“Everyone is partially right.” Ken Wilber, Philosopher

It is difficult to objectively observe attitudes and actions with which one identifies. Unfortunately, as long as we identify with the problem, we remain stuck. To identify with the problem is to develop a victim mentality of “I can’t help it; that’s just the way I am, bless God!”

Only, it does not bless God. I suggest it does not bless your co-workers or family members either. It probably does not even bless you.

The way to “help it” is to consciously become aware of the thoughts you think. Everything begins in the mind. Thoughts lead to the language used that drives emotions into actions. To give pause and see your thoughts and actions from a detached vantage point – even with a lean toward knowing your intentions - allows your self-observation will be more objective.

Negativity sets one up to see self as a loser and others as being against you. Nether is accurate. Separate action from personhood. See the event as an isolated happening; as in “I made a foolish remark” rather than “I am a fool.” This allows you to be gracious to yourself – maybe even to see some humor – and the recovery is much quicker.

Rather than proclaiming another as “judgmental”, narrow the scope to “she seems to have a limited viewpoint on politics.” Agree to disagree while holding the dissenting voice in high regard as a person of interest – not to be suspect of but someone you might be able to learn from.

All we bring to the table at any given moment is our collected past experiences. And none of us perceive issues the same way. Keeping an open mind does not mean you are wrong. An open mind lends to objectivity; to be able to walk around the issue and view from all sides.

Objectivity asks what needs to be added to current info; what needs to be jettisoned; what needs to be kept. Appreciate the incompleteness of your information and approach learning with a fun sense of curiosity. Appreciate the viewpoint of another, either as a point of humor or a need for compassion.

Be aware of hot topics and shy away until you can respond to stimuli rather than reacting. Think of consequences and aim for those that are for the good of the whole rather than to prove a point. In the long run, what does it matter who is right?

Riding a bicycle (or walking a tight wire), one needs to continually move forward, to adjust position and monitor speed. Rather than quantify any experiences as worst or best, put a monetary value to it. Instead of “This is the best Mexican food I have ever eaten,” be more objective and rate it as a 10. There may be several Mexican restaurants in the ten category while each remains unique.

If everyone is partially right, does that also mean everyone is partially wrong? Including self? When we have problems with others it is a good idea to do some self-reflection and consider how our flaws might be making the situation worse; how is our attitude playing a part in the drama.

It is only by accepting something that we can handle it. Objectively.