Being Objective

Objective is a valuable tool. It can open doors as well as minds. To be objective is to be impartial. And this is where the rub comes in. We are so close to who we are and how we see things and how we feel about them that is can be difficult to be objective.

Listen to the dissenter. Be willing to hear what your opposition has to say. An affront may be a distortion of truth but it also may contain an element of reality. Without countering, consider his position. Allow her to express her opinion.

Sift and sort. Denial and rationalization impede objectivity. As much as you may want to reject the input, recognize when you have been called by your true name. Do you have an edge to your voice when giving instructions? Are you late more often than you want to acknowledge? Do you spend money unwisely? Could you rearrange your schedule for more family time? Question your own reasoning.

Choose to be impartial. Take a balcony view. Step back from your emotions and observe your behavior as well as how others react to you. See yourself outside of yourself.

Be specific rather than general. It is unreasonable to pronounce “always” or “never” even if the infraction is repetitive. Instead of “You never get back with me”, make it, “I have not yet gotten your report; when can I expect it?” Rather than “You can change if you want to?” ask, “Do you think there is something you could do to improve the situation?”

Challenge your beliefs. Take a serious look at your hand-me-down views. Are all politicians corrupt? Are all rich people dishonest or all poor people lazy? Are all purple-people bad? Is your belief system the only valid one? Be careful to not lump all people into the same cesspool.

Becoming objective in receiving information as well as in giving it requires a commitment to improved relationships. Willingness to accept one’s biases – your own as well as theirs – is a good place to start.

We welcome reprinting of articles in your newsletter or magazine, providing credit is given as follows: “This article was written by Mona Dunkin, Motivational Speaker and Personal Success Coach, www.monadunkin.blogspot.com or www.monadunkin.com.”