Love is one of those words we use loosely. “Love” describes an emotional attachment to anything including people, pets, and pasta. Author Julie Motz says, “love is the feeling that flows out from you – once you know who you are – to connect you to other people.”
A healthy self-love is paramount for happiness in life and for any lasting relationship. The Bible tells us to love others as we love ourselves. This passage seems to indicate that we started life with a healthy self-love. What happened?
Do not confuse a healthy self-love with an over-inflated ego. Human nature being what it is, self-love can become distorted, which, in turn can damage others and us. There is something inside the psyche that says, “I am special. I have infinite worth and value. My looks are okay. I have dreams that are noble. I am capable of great accomplishments.” What I hear from others, even those who love me, is “Who do you think you are anyway?” “What are you trying to prove?” “If only you would…”
What I know is at war with what I hear, and it confuses my thinking. It may cause one to think, “I am a nobody. I am not worth it. I am nothing.” This confusion leads to try to prove how loveable one is and often into the trap of trying to be all things to all people.
Accept the “package deal” of you and be freed to work on attitudes and behaviors that might possibly be the real culprits of why you are not successful in life and relationships. To humbly say, “Yes, I am a pretty wonderful person” is to become precisely the person you were meant to be – YOU! It is to become real.
Love is a choice more than a feeling. Although hormones aid romantic love and the initial euphoria may draw two people together, that is not what keeps a couple together. Love releases us and sets us free to be all we were created to be; it does not bind or constrain us. Genuine love has such a healthy self-image that is not threatened by the other person being who he/she is.
Love is multipliable; it is not divisible. We may have the mistaken idea that there is only so much love to go around and must be parceled out sparingly. Thus, once-important relationships take a backseat as love is divided among new friends. In blended families, much jealousy arises because Mom or Dad may be seen as dividing their love with each other or with the other children. That is not the way love works. Love is multipliable. The more you love, the more you are able to love
Time is divisible; it is not multipliable. Because love is often equated with time spent together, busy schedules can put a major damper on good relationships. For the love of your family, cut back on too many outside interests or other busy activities. Make time, don’t find it, and see how your love life flourishes.
One never outgrows the need for love, and it is never too late to learn how to give and receive it.
Start with receiving God's unconditional love.
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