Synthesized Happiness

Thoughts are powerful. Philosophers throughout the centuries, including Jesus, have said in essence that “Whatever you think, you become.” In a more scientific vein, Dan Gilbert, Harvard psychologist, says we ‘synthesize’ our happiness.

Synthetics seem real and function well but are actually manmade faux materials. The mind cannot tell the difference between what is imagined and what is real. Is it the acquisition of possessions, money or adventures that makes you happy, or is it the anticipation of meaning that these things will bring? Case in point: how many times have you gained an illusive ideal, only to be reduced to the Peggy Lee song reframe of “Is that all there is?” After a short time, the event or object has no impact on your happiness.

Happiness is not found in objects. Bob - not his real name – in search of happiness and acceptance bought the latest model gigantic pick-up truck. Sure enough it brought him smiles galore as he was big man on campus. For about ten days. After everyone had admired, envied and taken a ride in his new toy, it became old news. The delight and fame was gone and so was his happiness. Reality set in of the burden of a monthly payment way over his income. A wiser Bob traded for a smaller vehicle and attached new meaning to life and possessions.

Attach on-going reality to the synthetic idea. Happiness associated with the original pursuit will be sustained as you allow accrued value. The new car retains its worth when kept up to give years of service. The home repaired and maintained increases as an asset. The marriage partner multiplies in significance through shared history and as nuances of his/her personality are appreciated.

You have it when you believe it. All things are created twice; first in the mind and then in reality. Being stuck with “synthetic happiness” is actually the key to finding authentic happiness. When there is no turning back, your mind is freed to find a way to be happy with your reality. You make the marriage work. You appreciate the parent or child. You become creative in stretching resources. You are thankful for the job you do have. You are given the gift to “Love what is”.

You are in charge of your own happiness. People contribute to but do not cause your happiness. Trying to parlay it to others is futile. They can contribute to your enjoyment of life, but you alone can make yourself happy. It is done through finding inner joy even in the midst of difficulties. Happy is better than unhappy. And the choice is yours. Always. In every situation.

“Synthetic happiness” is based on getting what you think you want. Authentic happiness is wanting what you get, whether it was your original ideal or not. With this thoughtful concept, make 2010 your happiest year yet.

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