A New Normal

　
Life has a way of not following goals and dreams fall down in midflight. Sometimes things happen from which we never recover. Our normal is disrupted. What then? Here are some thoughts on accepting things are they are, adjusting and continuing the journey.

Let yesterday be yesterday. No matter how great yesterday was, or how many possessions you owned, or how great your success, it is over and done with. Trying to relieve what has already been robs you of discovering joy in the midst of today’s struggles. And there are thrills and growth to be found amid adversity.

Acquire an insightful perspective on physical disabilities. All of these topics cover a wide spectrum; Physical disabilities could involve birth defects, wrecks/accidents, life-threatening disease, chronic pain, or the natural by-products of aging.

Emily Perl Kingsley, mother of a Downs Syndrome child, compares the anticipation and realities with traveling. Suppose you have made plans to go to Italy - with all the romance and history and adventure that entails – but your plane lands in Holland.

And there is no return.

No way to change plans.

You are stuck.

But Holland has a lot of wonderful things to offer – although at a slower pace than Italy and perhaps off the beaten track of what your peers pursue.

You always have a choice. Although the pain and disappointment may never go away, grieving and angering over life’s travel changes will keep you from seeing the beauty in the present situation and from embracing the character development that limitations offer.

Honestly revisit the good ole days. Barbara Streisand’s song The Way We Were has some poignant lines about selective memories. It suggests that we rewrite events to exclude the bad and only include the good. “What’s too painful to remember, we simply choose to forget. So it’s the laughter we will remember.” No matter how much you idealize that part of life, it is over. It is time to discover a new normal.

Enumerate what you have left. You will never get over the loss or the pain, but you can move beyond it by focusing on what you still have – the loves, the joys, the abilities, the promises.

I am not talking about giving up nor am I discounting grief. I am encouraging a surrender to the inevitable that results in flow rather than struggle, creativity rather than stagnation, and healthy relationships rather than stunted existence.

Please share with me and our readers your new normal and some of the things you have learned in the process.
　
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