Stress Stoppers

Stress is neutral. Physically we need stress in order to remain upright. Too much stress and we become rigid and break easily. Become aware of necessary stress escalating into distress. Here are some thoughts for effectively handling the stressors of life.

Keep things in perspective. If you’re late, you’re late and breaking your neck to get there will not make up for lost time and cause you to miraculously arrive on time. Don’t rush and don’t dawdle. When you reach your destination, be there and do not waste energy excuses or blaming.

Care giver vs. Savior. People we care about make demands on our time and resources. You can become overwhelmed with their neediness if you see yourself as the answer rather advisor or aide. In giving advice also give leeway for the individual to reject your input. In giving aide, know what is helpful and what is intrusive.

Respond vs. react. Respond to the need to clean up the milk rather than react to the messy floor or the child’s childishness. Respond to the person’s frustration rather than react to his emotional outburst. Responding seeks resolution, whereas reacting compounds the problem.

Tame the taunting critic. Listen to your self-talk and see how you are your own worst enemy. Sure you have made mistakes and you have also had a lot of successes. Focus on those. Picture the worst-case scenario then tap into your untapped strength and overcome.

Reassess priorities and schedules. Are the items on your to-do list real or self-imposed? What would happen if you didn’t attend that meeting? Are radish rosettes worth your sanity? Do the elaborate decorations make you a more gracious host? Will the sun not come up tomorrow if you miss a deadline? Would the organization fold if you did not chair the committee?

Have faith. Faith is looking forward to something that has not happened yet. Have faith in your ability to stop doing as well as to do. Have faith in others to step up to bat and take responsibility. Have faith in God to be faithful regardless. Have faith that this too shall pass. Have faith that hope, energy and clear thinking is restored through sleep.

Say “No” and feel good about it. You cannot give out of an empty basket. Never say “Yes” just to be liked. Failure to say “No” when it is in your own best interest leads to a bad case of the “overs” – over-commitment, over-scheduling, over-spending, over-indulging, over-re-acing… being over-bearing. Leave ‘em wanting more. Say “Yes” only to what is in the scope of your dreams, talents, time and resources.

Establish boundaries. Although undue stress may seem inevitable, it is alleviated through establishing boundaries. A relative of mine was an avid fan of a company whose products were sold through a home party plan. She had to have so many hostesses a year to book from her so she could win a butter dish. She could always depend on Mona. Saying “No” was painful, but not fatal. In the long run, it was also freeing to her. If you don’t have someone to aid and abet, why start the process? Stop the stress and start living.

People we care about make demands on our time and resources. You can become overwhelmed with their neediness if you see yourself as the answer rather advisor or aide. In giving advice also give leeway for the individual to reject your input. In giving aide, know what is helpful and what is intrusive.