Commit to Commitment

In welcoming the new year we have wonderful intentions and renewed hope for accomplishment. At the close of 2007, the Grand Avenue cartoon featured an exchange between the twins regarding New Year’s Resolutions. As Michael looked over his sister’s 2008 list, he observed that she had merely recycled 2007’s list and that she did not accomplish anything on the 2007 list. The girl boldly pronounced him wrong. Indeed she had fulfilled Resolution # 1 which was “Avoid time-consuming duplicative efforts.” Oh, how easily we can lie to ourselves.

Praeto’s 20/80 principle. Human beings are afflicted with what I call a “Bad Case of the Overs” – over-scheduling, over-committing, over-indulging, over-reacting, over-spending, and the list goes on. We make more commitments than we can keep. Yet, of all your possible activities, 20% will produce 80% of your intended results. When it comes to overcoming the overs, know that 20% of your activities will take you further and advance you faster than the others. Identify your 20% and doggedly stay with those the majority of your time, giving them your full mental and physical energy. Commitment to and completion of that 20% transforms ideas into reality, time into money, acquaintance into relationship, stress into energy, and inefficiency into effectiveness.

Seduction of Distractions. I’m guilty. I’ll just do these one or two itty-bitty things and get them out of the way so I can devote my full energy to the most important job. Those little distractions can grow to encompass 80% of time, leaving you less accomplished, unfulfilled, and a longer list of tomorrow tasks. Recognize your self-enticed distractions for what they are: self-sabotage. Spending time, resources and energy on things not in your 20% impairs, disrupts and incapacitates today’s success.

Practice of Procrastination. Webster’ dictionary defines procrastination as the intentional putting off of something that should be done. Perhaps procrastination is a ruse to atone for perfection: if I can’t do it perfect then I won’t do it. Challenge your excuses, step out of your comfort zone and just do it. Learn something in the process and know that the next time you will accomplish the task with more proficiency. Trust yourself to learn, to grow, to produce.

Secret of Concentration is Elimination. Multitasking is a deceptive ploy that binds us to the 80% inefficiency. Trying to do too many things at once is an enemy of focused attention and you are prone to make oversights and mistakes.. In a misguided attempt to get the small stuff out of the way, your mind’s primary thinking is consumed with the dread of the major project. Out of sight, out of mind. Stack the 80% into a neat pile and put it aside. Eliminate it from your field of vision. It will wait for you. Focus on your top priority, prune your schedule and hone your performance.

DON’T COPE, OVERCOME. A commitment is a binding vow and to commit is to obligate self or hand over. Fear is a powerful, yet subtle, motivator. Psychologists tell us we have only two real emotions – fear and love – and everything else is an outcropping of or watered-down expression of fear or love. Sometimes the two get mixed together. Perhaps an underlying motivation for the 80% less productive activities is a fear of success and the obvious passion for the 20% focused endeavors is genuine love of your selected mission. Spend time in thoughtful meditation to determine your trust in your pledges. Settling this issue and you move light years closer to achieving your goals.

ASK MONA. Q: In our culture, we have a coming-of-age celebration on the 12th birthday. Mine was a big deal and I loved it. I want the same thing for my daughter, however, at age five she wants to wear make up and carry a purse and I want her to wait. I have said “No” to make up until age 12 but she still wants a purse. What should I do?

Signed: Concerned Mother

A: Give her a purse. Does she have a doll even though she is not of child-rearing age? Sure she does. It’s a toy. It is a way of looking forward to being a mommy and practicing nurturing skills. Let her do the same thing with appreciating her female status and budding femininity. Be pleasantly firm in the boundary of a certain age before wearing make-up while allowing her to have pretend toiletries such as plastic lipstick and compact. And give her a purse to keep them in.

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