Achieving Personal Change

Change is the shift from one state to another brought on by stimulus or force. There may be outside factors over which you have no control yet the most satisfying and long lasting ones are the changes you choose to make for yourself. Here are some thoughts on being a change agent in your own life.

Change is possible. Because you tried to overcome a habit or attitude in the past, does not mean it cannot be accomplished in the present. Failure is not final. You can do it. The missing ingredient is motivation more than ability. Set goals to keep you focused and let yourself know you are capable of success.

Change is personal. You have to do it for you. Although others will benefit, if your intent is to please someone else the change will not be sustaining. We are all self-determining and only you can decide to make it happen. Although you can definitely be a positive influence in another’s choice to pursue change, you cannot change anyone but you.

Change encompasses total behavior. Effective change must contain a personality adjustment. Behavior consists of four components: the thoughts you think, the actions you take, the emotions you feel and the response of your body. Trying to change only one element is self-defeating. The aim to tame your temper starts with the internal development of compassion.

Change is an inside job. The mind focuses on the most dominant thought. See it to believe it. Picture yourself with skills, abilities and attitudes you want to develop. Use positive self-talk. Rather than berating a misstep, applaud a lesson learned.

Change is a process, not an event. Nothing grows without changing. A seed planted takes time to become a flower. Transformation is taking place even when not apparently. Change comes in stages over time; it is a marathon, not a sprint. Give yourself room to grow and rest in your development. Give change a chance to prove itself.

Change is understood through reflection. Employ a support group, friend or journal to mull over your thoughts, frustrations, accomplishments and plans. Having a sounding board is invaluable. Writing, meditation and talking is like looking into a mirror to see what you otherwise cannot see. It reveals what may be keeping you stuck and shows points for growth.

Change is worth it. Recognize the positives about change and embrace it. See and feel yourself growing to meet the challenge. Focus on what you gain rather than what you give up. Do not sabotage self by proclaiming you are doing your best unless you are actively …
· pursuing opportunities to learn (seminars, classes, books, mentors, counsel)
· engaging in change thought processes
· embracing new insights
· making different decisions

The key to change is a changeless sense of who you are. Know that fidelity to the original will remain in tact. You will simply become the best you possible.