Letting Go of Anger, Part 2

Here are more suggestions for letting go of anger.

Slow your response time.  Most conflicts can be avoided if you do not act in haste.   The other person may be wrong but his value as a human being remains intact.  You may not agree with the other person and by being objective you are able to disagree without being disagreeable.  By being objective you are open to others insights and greatly avoid engendering strife.  I have found that by being objective the other person is more willing to listen to my point of view.  Where there are no logs, the fire goes out. 

A soft answers turns away wrath, but grievous words stir up anger.  Proverbs 15:1

A wrathful man stirs up strife, but he that is slow to anger appeases strife.  Proverbs 15:18

Take personal responsibility for your part.  Each person is self-determining.  To say the other person made you mad is to admit you are a puppet and he is pulling your strings.  How much were you a part of the problem?  What attitudes were you projecting?  What facial expressions and body language did you use?  What was your tone of voice?  How were you selfishly seeing only your unmet needs?  Psychologist Carl Jung says others are mirrors reflecting us back to ourselves.  How much do you see your own faults in others and, rather than correcting your shortcomings, you angrily demanding they shape up?  

He that quickly becomes angry is foolish, and a man of wicked devises is hated.  Proverbs 14:17

He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that rules his own spirit is

better than he that conquers a city.  Proverbs 16:32

Move past it.   An unclean physical wound is easily infected and made worse.  The same is true with emotional wounds.  When not cleaned, they aggregate and spread from being angry with one person to being angry with a whole group of people, to being angry with the world.  Perhaps one plaid person did you wrong.  When nursed, cursed and rehearsed, the insult spreads to being angry with all plaid people.  If you choose (and it is a choice) to hold on to wrongs, harbor grudges, wallow in self-pity and devalue the offender, you become a bitter person who is unpleasant to be around.  Anger toward anyone collects in your system and colors your interaction with everyone. 

Choosing to get over the offense is a great liberator no matter how severe it is.  To pass over irritations requires great strength of character.  It sets you up for true peace.  It sets you up to be less stressful.  It sets you up to develop a healthier self-image.  It sets you up to appropriately appreciate others. We set our selves up for continued resentment, when we fail to get over the minor things or to confront the major issues.  I find one of the ironies of life is the human propensity to ignore genuine offenses and to explode over irrelevant ones. 

Be angry and sin not.  Do not let the sun go down on your wrath.  Ephesians 4:26

My translation of Ephesians 4:26 is, “There are reasons to become angry, but in doing so do not miss the mark and destroy the relationship.  Whether the issue is resolved or not, move past it before sundown. For the sun that goes down on anger rises on anger."  

Learn to care-front.  There are times when hurts and misconduct need to be confronted.  Choose your battles and do not make every conflict a major confrontation.  Care enough about the situation and about the individuals involved that you confront the issue in love (care-front).