Overcoming Internal Conflict

The human condition is one of continual conflicts. The greatest argument is the one we have with ourselves over polar extremes such as being comfortable with the status quo vs. restlessness for change. Failure comes from wanting to change results rather than attitudes and actions. If you are honest with yourself you will find that most obstacles to a meaningful life lie within yourself, not in the hands of others and not within the environment. Here are some thoughts for overcoming this internal conflict.

1. Wipe the slate clean. Let go of past failures and successes. Failures can keep you anchored; successes can keep you lazy. Even the negative person is part of the collective unconscious that spurs us to “start over” – New Year and resolutions, spring time and fresh growth, the crisp air of fall and returning to school. There is something mysterious about endings and beginnings. We seek a specific demarcation of leaving old things behind us and making a fresh new start. Allow every morning to brings new possibilities. Make new beginnings a part of your daily routine.

2. Step out of your comfort zone. We do not have the ability to perform beyond our own self-concept. Face fear by deliberately choosing to do something you are not comfortable doing. Speak to a stranger, eat alone at a public restaurant, volunteer out of your field of expertise, take a college course, experiment with the computer/internet, give a talk at a civic event, become involved in sports.

3. Be at peace with the man in the mirror. Be more concerned with what you think of you than what others think of you, because they probably are not thinking of you. There are two dangers: 1) thinking you are somebody and 2) thinking you are nobody. You have both flaws to be worked on and talents to offer that will make the world a better place.

4. Find your courage. No one can have courage for you; it is a do-it-yourself job. Find it, use it, exercise it and embrace it. Encouragement means to “pour courage into” so pour courage into you through positive self-talk and constructive affirmations.

5. Make every day a great event. Find something to be thankful for such as the awesome privilege of being alive. Embrace the health that you have and work to improve it. Relish your relationships and make time to nurture them. Appreciate your employment and be a productive worker. Allow a job well done to be its own reward.

Following these simple, yet profound, concepts on an on-going basis will work wonders in solving the internal conflict. Try them. They work.