Opening A Closed Mind (Yours or Theirs)

There are times when critical thinking is, well, critical.

• Before commenting, judge your perception of the situation and your attitude regarding the persons involved.

• Before responding, judge your perception of the situation and your attitude toward the persons involved.

Have an open mind by holding loosely to your convictions, just in case you are proven wrong! You will believe what you believe until you believe something else. What is more important, your opinion or the truth? What is more important, your point of view, or the relationship? What is more important, your prejudice or the relationship?

Learn to respond rather than react. Take the critiquing seriously but not personally. Do not take every comment or action as a personal affront. Do not be emotions driven. Know your strengths and limitations. Set healthy boundaries, limits or conditions.

Use fair judgment; of yourself and of the other person. Do not excuse or accuse. Be more interested in dialogue that in debate. Discuss rather than argue. Speak and listen. Dialogue invites understanding of another point of view, whereas debate is trying to convince another of your position.

Differentiate between what to acknowledge and what to let slide. Do not make an issue out of every comment and do not search for hidden agendas. It takes a wise and mature person to overlook some human flaws in a presumed difficult person. Be objective. Hear the comments only and filter out attitude, motive, or perceived hidden agendas.

Do not take things personally. Choose to lower your emotions. Have no hidden agendas. Be open, honest and forthright. Be firm and kind. Firmness shows respect for you; kindness shows respect for the other person. Develop an open mind and a tender heart.

Have no point to prove. Truth is truth is truth, and will stand regardless of counter attacks. A lie is a lie is a lie, and will remain a lie regardless of defenses. A person convinced against his will, is of the same opinion still. Adjust your vision. Binoculars magnify or diminish depending on which end is viewed through.

The problem is not the problem as much as the problem being the way you see the problem. We act on the way we think things are rather than the way they really may be. See the issue as a learning experience. Choose your attitude. Focus on the problem not the personality.

Difficult people are not obstacles to unhappiness, but opportunities for self-improvement. Disagree without being disagreeable. Acknowledge an impasse while continuing to hold the person in high regard. Defuse the issue. Empathize. Distinguish between “feeling” and “thinking”.

Don't Cope. Overcome. Determine the attitude you project in times of conflict. Your position is not relevant to the customer, co-worker or boss. Whether the other person’s mind is opened or not, when you keep a welcoming attitude, it is a pretty sure bet there will be other opportunities for dialog.