Keep up with my posts by e-mail


Thoughts on Becoming Resilient

Millions are hurt and homeless through natural disasters such as earthquakes, tsunamis, hurricanes and tornados. Multitudes are harmed with devastating human conflict like wars, crime, accidents, divorce and death of loved ones. These things disrupt life, as we know it.

Yet in spite of all these tragedies, many bounce back to healthy productive lifestyles, some even to the betterment of themselves and the world. Perhaps the secret is being resilient; of developing the ability to recover. Resiliency is to be flexible, hardy in spiritual constitution and adaptable. Similar to grace, resiliency may not be apparent until you need it.

Resiliency is the opposite of resignation. Do not deny the events just do not be defeated by it. Fall apart and then gather resolve to get back together. Appreciate that you are alive to see the sun come up tomorrow. Mourn and move past rather than getting stuck. Make a conscious decision to rise above.

Draw strength from your Higher Power. Recognize the Divine and receive an undeniable comfort in the midst of an incomprehensible situation. In spite of devastation, find inner peace in the simple reality that planet earth continues to revolve and day and night will go on.

Look at what happened rather than asking why. Reviewing the whys of life keep you trapped even when the answers may be forthcoming. Stressing or angering over the whys prevents one from accepting what is. Focus on what did happen and what can be done to rebuild.
Suppose your home was destroyed. Everyone was safe but the structure was reduced to rubble.

One may ask “why” and find a modicum of relief in the answer, but the house is still in ruins. Knowing the reason why did not reverse the situation nor does it free your mind to problem solve solutions.

Asking “what”, on the other hand, not only lends to finding the cause, it also releases creative energy to reconstruct with an eye toward prevention of it happening again.

It’s all about attitude. During the devastation of Katrina, a displaced family was huddled with hundreds in the Astrodome. Despite makeshift beds and Salvation Army meals, they had each other. One child saw reality beyond the trauma; “Oh, we have a home, we just don’t have a house to put it in.”

Find balance by willingly receiving aide from others, strangers as well as family, and by reaching out to others. You are not in this alone. There are those who care and wish to help, whether through material supplies, manual labor, or love and understanding. There are those that need something from you; possibly your insight, your smile, your hug or encouragement from you.

Look for the silver lining in the dark storm clouds. Blow like a tree in the wind that bends, but does not break. It bounces back to grow and produce fruit.

Concerning those who thrive despite tragedies, Dr. Steven M. Southwick, profess of psychiatry at Yale University School of Medicine sees them as having “post-traumatic-growth-syndrome”. May that be your legacy.

We welcome reprinting of articles in your newsletter or magazine, providing credit is given as follows: “This article was written by Mona Dunkin, Motivational Speaker and Personal Success Coach, or”

No comments: