Change is a Choice

Confucius said, “Only the wisest and stupidest of men never change.” If you do not fall into one of those two categories, here are some thoughts on choosing to change. Change is good. Change is the only thing that is permanent and our adjustment to it keeps life in balance.

1. True change comes with an adjustment in thinking, feeling and doing. It is with intellect that we reason, weigh, consider and understand the issues of life. It is with our emotions that we feel the issues of life such as joy, sorrow, pride, shame, etc. It is with the will that we decide the issues of life, such as “I will do that…” or “I will not do this…”; we say "yes" or "no" to opportunities, "yes" or "no" to temptations, "yes" or "no" to actions.

2. We think in pictures. If we don't get the picture, we don't get the concept. Change often seems impossible because we continue to keep old pictures in our mind while trying to bring a new reality into focus. To change your life, change your mind. Change can be scary, but the rewards are worth the struggle.

I am afraid I am only a dreamer who hasn’t the courage to change.
Kuki Gallmann in I Dreamed of Africa

3. The current pictures in our mind were developed in indelible ink. There are no gaps in communication, for we fill in the blanks with our imaginations or pre-conceived ideas. Perhaps we sensed someone’s emotional state, and pictured it as a logical stance. Perhaps we read the body language or facial expressions and misinterpreted it. Even though emotional imprints are powerful, the truth is, our mental pictures can be wrong.

4. Challenge the mental pictures you have. Is it real or imagined? Have I lied to myself? Am I keeping myself boxed in and not growing? Most of our pictures come from past experiences that say to us, “What has happened will happen.”

In workshops, I like to ask participants to “picture it”, then call off a litany of objects, i.e. dog, car, tree, building, house, etc. The result is that most people picture their own dog, their own car, a tree in their own yard, etc., thus showing how we carry yesterday into today, thus failing to expend the energy or creativity to think new thoughts which results in new adventures and change.

So, change your mind. I would suggest that just as you easily changed your mental picture from dog to car, so you could just as easily change old prejudices into new accepting attitudes, and change outgrown labels into new realities of who you are becoming.

5. Become the “little engine that could”. Even though the hill may be long and arduous, keep on keeping on until you reach the summit of change. It is okay to grow up emotionally and leave home. Put away childish things. Develop and use skills you have now which you did not have as an innocent, defenseless child.

You’re always competing with your own past. It’s the reach muscle. You have to reach for something new in life. - Steven Spielberg

To change your life, take new pictures. Visit new vistas. Whet your appetite to learn different ways of dealing with issues. Change your mind. Get a paradigm shift. Live more from imagination than from memory. Dream dreams. Develop the attitude of “When I see it, I will believe it.”

“Nothing of value gets lost in the change.” - Anthony Hopkins in The Dawning