Goal Setting and Results

Nothing worthwhile is accomplished without goals and planning. An occasionally wish may comes true and one erroneously think a goal has been set and attained. Here are strategies to move you beyond hoping and wishing to a plan with results.

Be all-inclusive. We are a composite whole and cannot separate ourselves from ourselves. Since one’s core foundation is all encompassing, focus on your whole life rather than a specific area. Include family, career, social, financial, intellectual, spiritual and recreational.

Set goals that are clear and concise. Make them specific rather than general. General “I will set aside some money each payday.” Specific: “I consistently set aside four percent of each pay check.”

State each goal in positive, present tense verbiage. Adding to the above example, “I enjoy consistently setting aside four percent of each pay check.”
Re-read often. Under gird your habit mind. Nurture your ability to dream, explore, reach and grow.

Catch yourself doing right. Pay attention to your behavior that it matches your goals. To reinforce continued success, stop and literally give yourself an “atta boy” or “atta girl”. Bask in your accomplishments. Positive feelings propel forward.
Stay the course. Set benchmarks along the way. There will always be course corrections.

Do not dwell on past successes or failures; both paralyze. Reveling in past success lends to current procrastination. Wallowing in failures lends to paranoia and being your own worst enemy. Today is a new day; make it count. Succeed again and again and again, each time in different and better ways.

Visualize. Practice what great achievers; see and feel yourself accomplishing the putt or closing the sale in your imagination. Productive daydreaming allows you to growing to meet the challenges of the goal. Get excited; words and images create energy.

Continually evaluate. Look at goals set and follow through and honestly ask, “Does my behavior match my goals?” Resolve those things you have put off and get back on track. Relish the journey and the personal growth.

Refuse to plateau by continually setting newer, more far-reaching goals. Moving forward necessitates courage and focus. There will be moments of fear and doubt, but recognize this as a natural process of growth. Hold on to your excitement and determination until the feeling sticks.

Saying “Yes” to one thing sometimes does means saying “No” to another, but that is not an absolute. Sometimes the “Yes” or the “No” advances endless possibilities.

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Test Self-Talk for Truth or Error

Do you talk to yourself? Are you kind or critical? Do you argue with yourself? Do you win? Or do you find yourself exclaiming, “This is driving me crazy!”? Could it be that the thoughts are going over and over in your mind without ever coming to a conclusion?

The science of Epigenetic says that a cell can only be in one of two positions: open for growth or closed for protection. The brain, based upon messages the body sends, gives command to the cells to flow (growth) or to fight-flight (protection).


"Man's greatest instrument is his psyche and is little thought of
and often directly mistrusted and despised." Psychiatrist Carl Jung



The key to “self-talk” is self. Quit beating yourself up; it is counter-productive. Growth comes in a safe, nurturing environment. A state of flow awakens one to the truth of your own nature. Fight assigns consent to stand up for your legitimate needs. Flight grants the freedom to be the best you that you are created to be.

Become your own best friend. Take responsibility for your actions without judgment or blame. Do not use your words against you through guilting and shaming. Do not use your words against others by blaming, criticizing or gossiping. When you have a legitimate issue to confront, address it from a place of victory not from a victim stance.

Overcome the “Yeah, but” syndrome. Self-esteem and self-honesty go hand-in-hand. Instead of being critical, angry or upset, send love to the problem. Practice the command to, “Love your neighbor as yourself”. In the midst of acknowledging your own flaws, send love to you. Armed with a healthy dose of self-love, rather than nurse ugly thoughts of another, send love to the troublemaker.

Mirror images. Negative attitudes play a color-blinding role. It blinds one to powerful self-truths and dismisses positive character traits. One born with the gift of leadership becomes a dictator unless exposed to the eye-opening light of self-reflection. Without self-knowledge a polite response to an offender may be judged as being weak.

Muscles are meant to tense and relax, to close and open, and to hold and release as needed. Unfortunately, many hold residual tension in muscles that hinders relaxation. Tension remains in the body through the failure to release and let it go.

Become aware of the times you hold your breath and allow it to be a springboard to reflection.

Monitor your self-talk for criticism. Rather than beat you up, practice self-compassion and strategize self-improvement steps. Rather than mentally berate another, practice other-compassion and strategize self-improvement steps that will bring personal growth, health and peace.


Mona Dunkin is a Motivational Speaker, Corporate Trainer and Personal Success Coach. Read past articles at www.monadunkin.blogspot.com. Contact her at mdunkin@flash.net.

The Freedom of Anger Resolution

Life hurts. A physical wound heals through proper attention of cleansing, ointment and time. So too with an emotional hurt. Only the proper attention is not to nurse, curse and rehearse.

Thought is reflected in the body as emotion. Thoughts may not be conscious, but emotions are. As the negative thought is replayed, one stays emotionally overwrought (raw). Lack of perspective unconsciously causes one to identify with his emotions and that emotion becomes “you”.

Emotion is the body’s reaction to thought. Hostile thoughts build up energy in the body that is experienced as anger. The more one identifies with his thoughts (likes, dislikes, judgments and interpretations) the stronger the emotional energy charge.
An important function of the mind is to remove emotional pain, thus the confused flurry of mental activity and the need to deny reality. Some things are so painful the only way to handle it is through denial.

Emotional pain is lessened through reflection that brings resolve. Resolution involves opening the mind to consider all sides of an issue; to be willing to see the pros and cons of all parties involved. Resolution brings things to an end. Problem solved. Resolution declares the conflict is over.


VERY IMPORTANT NOTE: It takes one to resolve, two or more to reconcile.
The resolution within yourself frees you in several ways.

1) It frees you to be civil toward the offender.

2) It frees you to be open to your part in the conflict.

3) As your attitude sets a gracious atmosphere, it frees the offended/offending party to be receptive to your insights.

4) It paves the way for reconciliation.

5) It strengthens you to live peacefully with unresolved issues.

6) It promotes overall spiritual and physical health.

7) It gives you courage to set boundaries and/or to respect boundaries.

8) It builds tenacity within to embrace a spirit of forgiveness to self and others.

When we cease to draw identification from the pain, we are freed to be free. We are freed to find resolve whether through action or inaction. We are freed to experience love, joy and peace. Love, joy and peace transcend emotions all the way to the state of being.

Mona Dunkin is a Motivational Speaker, Corporate Trainer and Personal Success Coach. Read past articles at www.monadunkin.blogspot.com. Contact her at mdunkin@flash.net.