I am good at teaching, but not always so good at living what I teach -- and that is exactly why I teach. Teaching holds me accountable to what I say and do. I was late-in-life learning a lot of things – like Goal Setting and Planning – but self-evaluating was ingrained in me as a child.
During my West Virginia wonder years we gathered on Sundays at our little circuit-rider United Methodist Church. Each Communion Sunday the pastor emphasized the sacredness of the sacrament and the value of self-evaluation. You know, to make sure we were living right; that we weren't harboring any lies, didn’t need to apologize for, or “lest something worse come upon you.”
Thankfully, my Aunt Erma explained that self-evaluation is not dumping guilt on yourself, but is taking responsibility for our missteps. If we don’t own up to our part of the problem, then it leads us to stack attack misbehavior that hurts us and others.
The purpose of self-evaluation is to see our self as we really are, so we can either keep on a good path or take corrective steps. It’s all Total Behavior. What we think, what we do, how we feel about our thinking and doing, effects of physiology and our mental health and our sleep, our digestion, our energy level and our relationships and our success and…
In other words, everything within us touches everything about us and everything we do effects everything we do. To stay whole and healthy, self-evaluation is a discipline I practice daily.
Self-evaluation is tied in with the Ten Axioms of Choice Theory Psychology.
· #1 states that "The only person whose behavior we can control is our own". I suppose the inference is that way too often we do not control our self and need to think about the outcome.
· #2 says "All we can do is give or receive information." Inference - don't place blame, don't criticize, be nice, use your inside voice, get honest with yourself.
· #6 states "We can only satisfy our needs by satisfying the pictures in our Quality World" (i.e. pics in our head). Inference: ongoing negative guilting thoughts suggest we're not too satisfied with our life so self-evaluate and make changes.
A theory is something not yet proven. When we consider the possibility of a smidgen of reality in Choice Theory, then the practice of the theory becomes real. And we prove to our self, for our self what is or is not effective. Long term.
The key word in Self-Evaluation is “Self”. Only it’s not really “self” because we are never alone. We have a great “cloud of witnesses”, whether in that DNA molecule syphoned from a long dead ancestor or the influencing thoughts gleaned from a stranger or the mystical concept of God.So what are the benefits?
- Challenge you to excellence
- Lessens dependency on the approval of others
- Promotes healthy competition
- Encourages non-judgmental judgment (see Axiom #2)
- Ask and answer tough questions
- Live in the present
And all this accumulates into personal empowerment. You have to experience it for yourself. Enjoy.
“One breath began the journey of life;
Ambiguous with joys and strife.
What makes one, breaks another;
All of earth’s travels are for us to discover
The value of self, sister and brother.”
Choice Theory Basic Intensive Training, Waco, Texas, Mona Dunkin, CTRTC,LM
254-749-6594 monadunkin@gmail.com https://wglasser.com/trainings/2019-03/
