In an otherwise bleak February there shines a bright spot where we as a nation celebrate love. During this Valentine’s season, may your heart be filled with love and compassion for all humanity, yourself included.
They say ‘love is blind’ but I’m not so sure. In reflection on our beginning 50 years ago, I saw Garland’s flaws. I just choose to overlook them. His quirks were just that – quirks - they weren’t big enough to detract from his being loveable. Not until they kept happening over and over. And no matter how hard I tried, he would not be fixed. Actually, neither would I. Guess that is part of our wonderful – yet dangerous – gift of a free will. Adjustment time. I had to ask and answer some hard questions.
Attraction plays a large part in getting a couple together but attraction will not keep a couple together. Staying together takes the maturity of one fabulous and flawed individual getting along reasonably well with another fabulous and flawed individual. It requires patience, long-suffering, forgiveness, fun, commitment, history, grace, respect, cooperation, loyalty – all the finer ingredients of love. Love is about giving and receiving, never taking. Love for the long haul needs to remain a little blind.
I am humbled by Garland’s love. When I am honest with myself I know what I can be like. And yet, he stays with me. We love each other in spite of as well as because of. Garland’s strength offset my shortcomings and my strength offset his shortcomings, which works for the good of the whole. That is when we work with it rather than oppose it. Being rubbed the wrong way helps to smooth out rough edges and perfect strengths.
So what’s the formula? Make love last by knowing that God, the Master Matchmaker, had a hand in getting you together. Also know that an individual’s free will is a major factor in staying together – and in liking it. Choice is a big deal in liking your mate and in being thankful for your relationship. See his worth and value beyond the everyday irritants. Lovingly overlook those continuing quirks that you’ve unsuccessfully tried to change (think Edith and Archie Bunker). Negotiate. Get along anyway. Choose to love. Know that giving and receiving is a two-way street; keep the pavement smooth.
However our paths have crossed, thanks for your blessings and well wishes. Your friendship has made our journey sweeter. Thank you for reading my blog or books. I appreciate the opportunity to share with you my insights for peaceful living. Take any of the ideas that may touch your heart and make them your own.
Mona Dunkin, Solution Principles. www.monadunkin.com To schedule training or life coaching contact Mona at monadunkin@gmail.com or 254-749-6594.
