Self-Evaluation: What do you Really Want?

 

 

What do you want?  Over the course of your life thus far, how many times have you been asked that question? What do you want for Christmas? What do you want for your birthday?

 

What do you want? What do you really want? What about those times you “want something” and go searching for food even though hunger is not the issue? Or find something to do when that doesn’t fit the yearning either?

 

Asking ourselves what we really want is probably the most important thing we can do for ourselves - whether it’s about those big life/visions/goals or in-the-moment stuff. 

Have you ever wanted – and gotten – a new car thinking it would transport you to prestige, fun, dignity and self-worth?  Only to be sorely disappointed once the glamour wore off? And the payments continued?

What we want is produced by our emotions.  Emotions are the outcropping of the thoughts we think.  Emotions and perception (the way you see things) feed on each other, either to rev you up, or to calm you down.  It depends on what mind movie you are tuning in to.  We assume our lives are shaped by events. Actually our lives are shaped by our perceptions and reaction to events, people and/or stuff.

 

In the midst of a heated discussion, take a deep breath and ask yourself, “What do I want right now.” 

More than likely the true answer is not, “I want to argue!” Odds are it’s more likely, “I want to be understood;” or, “I want to stop this harangue and I want to show up as the highest version of myself I’m committed to being!”

When you evaluate what you really want, then you are in a position to create it.  It is no longer about proving a point, it becomes about being the person you truly are. It is all in the decision. When you become clear on what you want (or who you really want to be), the “how” to be that person begins to fall into place. 

Change either what you want, or change what you are willing to do to get it. The human heart beats the same whether in the 21st Century or the 1st Century, before or beyond.  We really do all face the same issues, just in different flavors. 

 

The answer to what we want is usually not stuff or food or money or handouts or advice - although those things may have their place.  The answer to what we want is usually about being.  To find out who we really are, we must acknowledge who we have become. We must face the way we hide from ourselves.

 

Blind Bartimaeus cried out, “Jesus Christ, Son of David. Have mercy on me. I am a sinner.” Jesus responded to his plea for mercy by asking, “What do you want me to do?”  (Mark 10:46-52)

God will not violate our free will. How often do we ask for help not knowing what we really want or really need?  We do not recognize our spiritual poverty and thus do not receive mercy.

 

In evaluating what we want from Christ start with the ever true declaration of “I am a sinner”. After a soul-searching inventory be specific, “I am a sinner by being stressed that you will not provide for my needs.” “I am stressed because So-and-So does not follow my sage advice.”  Become more specific. “I am a stressor. I am a stressor because I want to control people and situations.”

 

What we want is actually about peace, contentment, healthy relationships and effective behaviors.  They are readily ours as we make time to follow the Biblical mandate to examine self before partaking in experiences that would render us ineffective (I Cor. 11:27-33).