Truth or Dare with Social Distancing

In the long ago Rowan and Martin’s Laugh-In TV series (1967-1973), actress Lily Tomlin portrayed Edith Ann, a five-year old with outlandish truths about life. Edith Ann sat in a huge rocking chair and recounted strange adventures from her childish point of view. Each segment ended with her looking directly into the camera and boldly proclaiming, “And that’s the truth!”

Life tickles your funny bones. The audience saw comedy in Edith Ann’s truth because it emphasized how we, too, may see things askew. You find humor in situations with which you identify. And sometimes it’s good to laugh at ourselves. To see our foibles. To recognize our shadow side.

Sometimes life breaks your hearts. The heart ache is not from seeing truth, but from refusing to be set free by the truth we see. Truth hurts only when it is supposed to. Allow the sting to take you to self-evaluation for loving adjustment or forgiveness.

Feelings don’t tell you the truth; they just emphasize how you feel. Beliefs are not necessarily truth, they are just what you tell yourself you believe. What you believe is your best guess in the moment at what is real. Your best guess at reality is conditioned by the society in which you live.

Society doesn’t tell you the truth; society goes with fads, trends or the in-thing. Your thoughts don’t tell you the truth; they just try to tell how you measure up to society’s dictates. Or not. Circumstances don’t tell you the truth. No matter how real they seem to be they are really your thoughts trying to prove to you that your beliefs and that your feelings and your viewpoints are truth.

What does tell you the truth? Life.

Life demonstrates truth. Truth is universal and applies to everyone equally. Life speaks truth whether we believe it or not, whether we can handle it or not. Rain or drought, hurricanes or tsunamis falls equally on the just and on the unjust.

Life reveals when actions are plume. It matters not if one is a skilled iron worker or a nuclear scientist or an adventurous roof-scaling child, the truthful law of gravity shows itself to always be accurate. Whether gravity works for us or against us depends on our respect for its truth.

Don’t Cope, Overcome. There is a big difference in thinking you are a fool and in thinking you did a foolish thing. When your thoughts bring increased frustration, anger, sadness or instability, then maybe it is time to challenge your truth. Does what you believe hold water? Is your attitude working for you or not?

When circumstances are less than ideal, look deep inside to see what lesson life is teaching you. Obey the rules of the road and the chances of a speeding ticket, wreck or traffic violation are greatly diminished. Listen to your internal moral compass. NOTE: it speaks quietly, softly and gently. It must be tuned into to be heard. It must be given space to grow. It must be proven to stand firm.

Need a Life Coach? Contact Mona at 254-749-6594 or monadunkin@gmail.com

Saying "No" Without Guilt

“Problems cannot be solved at the same level of thinking that created them.”

Albert Einstein

Does the thought of saying “No” fill you with anxiety? That to turn down a request sets you up for guilty feelings? Do you think a “Yes” equates inclusion, importance, security, - love?

I remember distinctly learning this lesson many years ago. It has served me well ever since.

A friend in financial straits asked me to buy her stereo. Wanting to help, I obligated myself to the purchase. I failed to realize I was hurting me by obligating myself to financial stress.

I checked and double checked income verses outflow. I rationalized that although it would be difficult to pay, the melodious music would make it all worthwhile.

Reality dawned that the pain of having a huge chunk taken out of my next several paydays outweighed the pleasure of surround sound. In comparison, the stress of turning down a friend request was minimal

The decision was the hardest part.

Once the decision was made the weight lifted instantly. I could continue to live within my income. I had a new found appreciation for my radio. I could still listen to sweet music without the added expense of buying records. I felt so relieved. So non-guilty.

I said my “mea culpa” and recanted my agreement to purchase. We remained friends.

Through self-evaluation, my level of thinking had elevated to solving the problem. And a wonderful new pattern of living was set into motion. Namely:

· Life is about making choices: “Yes”; “No”; and owning up to misspeaks
· The freedom of saying “No” overrides and releases guilt
· Be judicious in making commitments; think it through first
· It is always need vs. need
· Do not be influenced by assumed obligation

A simple “No” or “No, thank you” is the most effective way to begin. It is complete, all-inclusive and leaves no room for argument.

Stress is living outside your boundaries. Rather than be suckered in with “I should” thinking, replace it with, “I could”. This small shift gives you time to evaluate before making a decision. Give yourself a little wiggle room with, “Let me check my calendar and get back with you”.

Feel good about saying “No” to things that tax your time, finances, emotional stability, commitments, family responsibilities or your over-all well being.