Showing posts with label Stress. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Stress. Show all posts

8/1/17

Benefits of Getting Your Z's





Every parent knows that a cranky child is more pleasant after her “beauty sleep”. It works for adults too. If your life has become so busy that you have decided to give up on sleep, please reconsider. There are numerous benefits. Here are a few.

Sleep aids in the processing of emotions. REM is when sleep experts say dreaming takes place. Supposedly we start by reviewing the events of the day and trying to make sense of them. Thus, the right-brain/left-brain battle brings on some weird images or nightmares. As the night progresses these issues are settled and dreams become more positive, going into the realm of problem solving and goal setting type of daydreaming. What a shame to get too few hours’ sleep and miss out on this beneficial imagery.

Sleep helps to balance perspectives. Research says that because of the right-brain, left-brain switches over during sleep, one’s dream state gives more input and creativity than one’s awakened state. Also, in the relaxation of sleep, the intuitive side willingly receives new insight from the logical side.

The old recommendation to “sleep on it” bears a lot of truth. While your body is being reset through the restful mechanics of sleep, the mind is fully active, exploring through buried files unhindered by conscious thought. The engaged mind reviews and sorts and categorizes and comes to conclusions. Even though it happens frequently, I am still impressed when I awaken with the answer to last night’s cross-word puzzle.

Sleep helps elongates short term memory. Harvard University studies taken from different angles, has impressive research showing sleep improves information storage. Students that study intensely followed by sleep then awaken to testing, scored consistently higher than students who studied intently then immediately was tested while “it was still fresh on their mind.” There is something mysterious about sleeping that allows the mind to better understand information, associate it with prior knowledge, store it and easily retrieve it later.

Experts say the amount of regular sleep effects one’s overall weight. Too little restful sleep the more pounds on the frame and the more difficulty in losing weight.

Sleep resets our systems. As a person who functioned well on only a few hours of sleep, I was reluctant to stay abed longer. These benefits have been motivators to me to and have improved my life and health. It may take a while to learn new sleep habits and it is well worth the effort.

For all your speaking and training needs, contact Mona Dunkin, Motivational Speaker and Personal Success Coach, monadunkin@gmail.com www.monadunkin.com.”


11/29/16

Overcoming Holiday Stress




We are a nation of stressors and the holidays seem to exacerbate the condition. My definition of stress is “living outside your resources.” Use these thoughts to keep your balance and enjoy the festivities of the season.

Maintain structured routine. Mental and physical involvement in the tasks of the day can keep your mind off worries and provide a feeling of accomplishment. Keep the to-do list within the scope of your energy and resources.

Build your faith. Numerous studies show the connection between religious practices and the positive impact on health. Belief in a Higher Power boosts spirits and gives life purpose and meaning. Find the true meaning of the holiday celebrations – family, thanks, relationship, joy, goodwill and peace.

Do something absurd and out of the ordinary. Laugh. Make yourself smile and give a few forced “ha ha’s”. Works doesn’t it. Keep it going by remembering an amusing incident and relate it to a friend. Read the comics out loud in a dramatic fashion with made-up voices.

Make room for moments of joy and pleasure. Listen to music; sing along and dance. Take a short brisk walk and revel in the beauty of the outdoors. Savor a small bite of a forbidden treat. Look through a picture album and relieve cherished memories. Spend time with a child and really listen to his/her magic wishes.

Get things in perspective. Imagine that everything is gone. You are all alone in the middle of nowhere. You have no family, no home, no job and nothing to celebrate. Do you have the picture? Do you feel sad and empty? Now, all of a sudden, you get everything back. Don’t you feel rich? Don’t you feel loved? Aren’t you glad for the holidays?

Find the magic of pets. Pets have been proven to be stress reducers. They make understanding companions, help combat loneliness, reduce blood pressure and their playful antics bring smiles. So stroke the cat, pat the puppy or watch the fish and allow you stress to melt away.

We are made for community and we have a need to serve. Keep the entertaining simple. Keep spending within your income. Bask in the comity of family and friends. Make time for quiet reflection. Allow the joy of the holidays to embrace you and see the revelry of by-gone days become afresh.





























3/31/15

Make STRESS Work FOR You

Make stress work FOR you! Surely you jest!

Yes, we can make stress work for us by...
· Using stressful situation as a motivator to move – exercise or rest.
· Allowing stress to cause you to refocus on your priorities and values.
· Using stress as a springboard to develop new attitudes and habits.

Here are eight strategies for instant stress relief.

1. BELIEVE - Believe that life has a purpose. Believe that things will work out. Believe in God. Believe in yourself. Believe in others.

My search led me to try to define what is meant by the word stress and its many uses. Then I turned to the world of anatomy and medicine to develop an understanding of how the body reacts to stress…. From my study I discovered the magnificent stress coping mechanism we have been given…. My conclusion is that stress is essentially a spiritual problem.” Dr. Lloyd J. Ogilvi

“There’s pressure every day in coaching. But pressure can be good. It can be a motivating factor to strive for excellence, unless you let it become fear. Because my faith is where it all starts, that pressure is not fear.” Kevin Steele, Former Baylor Head Football Coach

2. Make everything your choice. Even if it is a seemingly “have to” situation, refuse to be put upon by choosing to accept the task as a part of character development.

"Dr. Bernie Siegel, MD shocks his cancer patients when he asks them ‘Why do you need this illness?’ He claims our bodies break down to give us a message… and many times it is a message that we have been ignoring.” Pain, the Gift Nobody Wants, Dr. Paul Brand and Philip Yancey

3. Develop good communication skills. Be specific. Avoid the stress of repeating yourself.

4. Spend quality and quantity time with your family – and approach it with the right attitude.

“I tell my patients to release the work day and surrender to ‘kid time’. It’s a time when we can breath more deeply, laugh spontaneously, and just take in the natural loving energy that children bring to us.” Naomi Swanson, Ph.D.

5. Live one day at a time, and appreciate that one day for what it is and for who you are.

“Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it? – Ever? Every minute?” Thornton Wilder, Our Town

6. Determine “Who owns the problem?” If it is not your problem, do not make it so. Take yourself out of the middle so you can see more clearly.

7. Play and have fun. A playful mind is a de-stressed mind.

“Good mental health is the ability to work and play.” Sigmund Freud


8. Hurry less and relax more.

“Hurry, but don’t rush.” Coach John Wooten

Don't Cope. Overcome. Put these strategies in to play daily. They Work.

For success coaching, counsel or speaking engagements, contact Mona at 254-749-6594 or mona@solutionprinciples.com

8/26/12

Stress and Motivation



As you can see from my by-line, I call myself a Motivational Speaker. The truth is I cannot motivate anyone to do anything.

And neither can you.

I am not even going to try. That is too stress producing. Maybe you can identify.
It’s not stress that kills us …It’s our reaction to it!

We are each self-determining and make our own choices based on the pleasure-pain syndrome. We seek as much pleasure and success as possible while avoiding pain and failure. Example: one may think vegging out in front of the TV as more pleasurable than the boredom of exercise. However, after a near-death experience, one sees death more painful than the pleasure of staying alive - even if that means exercise and healthy eating.

Our mind is capricious and is capable of being deceived, and of being enlightened and of being changed.

You cannot motivate people, but people are motivated! They become self-motivated whenever a solution is seen to meet an individual need.

The emerging science of Epigenetics suggests that in our genetic code there is a protective layer above the gene.

Similar to our skin’s epidermis (epi- the protective layer above the “dermis”) the outer layer is sensitive to the environment. The outer skin sunburns, sweats when hot, becomes clammy when nervous and gets goose-bumps when chilled.

Different environments. Same body systems. Different results.

So too this epi-gene responds to the environment. Stress wrecks havoc. Limiting beliefs sabotage success. Calm restores. Abundance mentality heals.

Different environments. Same body systems. Different results.

In the book, Anti-Cancer, Dr. Servan-Schreiber states that human beings, like all living organisms, make defective cells. “But our bodies are also equipped with a number of mechanisms that detect and keep such cells in check.....”

He goes on to write: “This is what I learned: If we all have a potential cancer lying dormant in us, each of us also has a body designed to fight the process of tumor development. It is up to each of us to use our body’s natural defenses. Other cultures do this much better than ours.”

Are we pre-programmed with our current personality and habits? In 1980 enter the Human Genome Project; a global, scientific effort to create a catalog of all the genes present in humans. The stem cell results shows that no one gene that does anything.

Epigenetic explores the fact that the way you see the world influences your genes and that every gene in the body can be modified by the way you respond to events. The body structure remains constant but the gene functions are not hard-wired. You can actually feel the physiology change when you change your mind.

The invisible thing working against us is actually our unaware mind. When we become aware, we can be motivated to rewrite the program. We may think we know our conscious mind rather well; often overlook the power of the unconscious. Unfortunately, when we do, we overlook a wellspring of human potential to change, and limit our power to change, heal, grow and overcome.

Please post your comments; I love hearing from you. Thanks.

7/1/12


Being Overwhelmed






Do you relate?



A major factor behind feeling overwhelmed is allowing yourself to be besieged by today’s fast-paced multi-tasking society. One becomes inundated with so many things to do that mismanagement holds sway. Priorities are neglected. Goals are abandoned. One becomes filled with guilt over broken promises and overdue deadlines. Fear and frustration reign.


Stop. Take a deep breath.

There, didn’t that one simple suggestion help?

The act of stopping allows you to catch up with you. Stopping permits the tornadic whirlwind to settle. One deep meaningful breath calms emotions and engages rational thinking.

Observe. Once you are off the fast-track you are better able to see your surrounds. It is not so much what is going on around you as what is going on inside you. As the fevered tension subsides, purposely monitor your self-destructive patterns.

The body’s cells operate in one of two positions: closed for survival or open for growth. Frustration is the chaotic combination of distorted mental pictures, critical self-talk and the physical cells closing down (in order to keep you alive!). With the release of pent-up frustration, energy flows for accomplishment.

Assess. Examine your to-do-list in order to judge or evaluate its validity.

  • Quickly write down all the pressing thoughts in your head. Do not judge the need or organize the outcome. Just write from the largest to the minutest; have to’s and want to’s.
  • Once your random thoughts are on paper, distinguish between a project and the tasks that aide in the completion of the project. Example: The project is organization; associated tasks are: sort out (closets, shelves, files) systematize reading materials, de-clutter desk, scrub floors, take off recycle, donate to Salvation Army, hold garage sale. Projects dwarf once you see how details to be accomplishment are one and the same.
  • Independently calculate the weight of each project. On a scale of 1-10, with ten being the heaviest, assign power to each project. Although all are important, give due diligence to the one of greatest weight over those that appears urgent. Even if two of the lesser weights are marked-off, your loan will not be lightened because the heaviest is still waiting in the wings.
  • Set a time and date. Today, tomorrow, this week, this month, this year; long term, short term. You cannot rise above your calendar. Once tasks are given a time frame in which to be accomplished, energy is directed to the outcome more than the minutia.
  • Ask and answer self-evaluation questions. Is it really important? How so? Is it really that urgent? Why? Have I given it more power than it warrants? What if I saw it as a choice rather than a command? Is the fate of the world dependent upon my doing this? Or my family? Who do I need to help me? How can I delegate?

Who would have thought that moving forward starts with stopping? Rather ironic, huh? Don’t just imagine what three or five deep breaths would do; experience it. Live it. Keep your cells open for growth.

Please share your insights below.

3/18/12

Making a Differencee, Having Fun (Part 1)

“The Tipping Point” author Malcolm Gladwell points out how little things can make a big difference and this difference can literally tip the scales in your favor. A lot of people make a difference, but lose having fun in the process.

When asked, “What do you do for fun?” I am often saddened by replies of: “I am too busy. I do not have time for fun.” The lack of fun indicates their stress level. It also portends currently or future mental and/or health problems.

Here are two points in my list of how to make a difference while retaining your humanity and having fun in the process.

Watch out for the “Savior” complex. Our basic need for purpose is fulfilled through work and service. Each individual is equipped with talents that will bless your corner of the world and is compelled to bring it into reality. Driven people strive to do as much as possible – accomplish a lot – at great cost to themselves and to their families. And lose fun in the process.

There is a big difference in being driven and having a calling. Called people joyfully do what is set before them and in keeping with their own gifts, talents, innate desires and available resources (including time).

Jesus said, “The poor you will always have with you.” He also said, “It is finished.” Oh, surely you jest! But there is still hungry people to feed, sick ones to heal, wars to end, and on and on. Jesus said, “I have accomplished what the Father gave me to do.” While Jesus, whom many believe to be the Savior, was in human form, he refused to take on “the savior complex”. Do you have task to do? Yes, most definitely. Just do what has been given to you and do not take on too much.

Carry the message, not the person. We are each self-determining. I teach Life Skills at a correction facility where the residents are forced to attend. A brooding man declared, “I don’t think you can fix my problems!”

I agreed with him. “You are right. I cannot. I am not the answer man. All I can do is give you information, what you do with it is entirely up to you. All I can do is help you to see things in a different light. You can ignore it. You can rebel against it. You can receive it and act upon it. I can ask you to change, but I will not demand that you change. My experience is that demanding adds fuel to rebellion. In my experience, demanding is less effective than asking and then giving you room to grow.”

If I give you information, I have added to your knowledge.
If I cause you to think, I have added to your stature.

Someone came to me so I could “fix him”. I replied, “Don’t hang your hopes on me.” It is my goal to help people grow through self-evaluation that brings internal change.

Because I carry the message and not the person, when the individual continues in his self-destructive ways, I am sad for him but I am not devastated. Also, when the person begins to change for the positive, I rejoice with her, but do not take the credit. I may have given the travel schedule, but the individual is the one who bought the ticket and got on the bus.

P.S. Don't forget to connect with me.

2/3/12

Aha” Moments and an “Aha” Lifestyle

You’ve had them. You know, those times when the mental light bulb comes on and you suddenly understand a previously confusing concept. You can view one of mine by going to www.monadunkin.com.

I suggest the filming of that “Aha” moment came about through living an “Aha” lifestyle. A lifestyle where you choose to see everything as connected to something bigger and you cherish the placing of the small puzzle piece. A lifestyle where you recognize that what you sow really is what you reap and you take care to only plant good seed in good soil. A lifestyle where serendipity is viewed as normal and thus every chance encounter becomes a divine appointment.

Reality wins only every time. The way we see things becomes our perception. Only our perception may not be real. When life flow rather smoothly – and our body attests to that truth – then we are bordering on reality. When we treat others in an honorable manner – and our relationships bear the fruits – then we are getting closer to reality. When life slaps us around, makes us sick, divorces us and robs us of peace, maybe it’s time for a reality check.

Have no point to prove or to defend. If the point is acute, it will make an impact regardless of the pressure. Although truth or deceit may take time to show itself, in time either is undisputable. Truth stands on her own two feet. Conversely, lies fail.

Embrace change: revise, add to or discard. As life shows the possibility that our assessment is askew, summons the courage for honest reflection. What revisions need to be made? Do new facts or insights need to be added? What faulty concepts need to be jettisoned? If force has proven ineffective, try gentleness. It is the mark of greatness and understood by all.

Carry message not the person. One’s stance may be 100% right-on yet presentation results in a hardened heart. The message is “There are other facts to consider.” The reality is he has to be willing to hear. The message is, “Help is available.” The reality is she must buy the ticket and get on the bus.

We are each self-determining. An “Aha” lifestyle embraces personal choices and monitors results for freeing truth or limiting self-deception. An “Aha” lifestyle graciously allows others to discover truth, all the while speaking honesty in love and developing relationship.

Please share your "Ah" moments with us. Would love to have your input.

10/9/10

Thoughts on Becoming Resilient

Millions are hurt and homeless through natural disasters such as earthquakes, tsunamis, hurricanes and tornados. Multitudes are harmed with devastating human conflict like wars, crime, accidents, divorce and death of loved ones. These things disrupt life, as we know it.

Yet in spite of all these tragedies, many bounce back to healthy productive lifestyles, some even to the betterment of themselves and the world. Perhaps the secret is being resilient; of developing the ability to recover. Resiliency is to be flexible, hardy in spiritual constitution and adaptable. Similar to grace, resiliency may not be apparent until you need it.

Resiliency is the opposite of resignation. Do not deny the events just do not be defeated by it. Fall apart and then gather resolve to get back together. Appreciate that you are alive to see the sun come up tomorrow. Mourn and move past rather than getting stuck. Make a conscious decision to rise above.

Draw strength from your Higher Power. Recognize the Divine and receive an undeniable comfort in the midst of an incomprehensible situation. In spite of devastation, find inner peace in the simple reality that planet earth continues to revolve and day and night will go on.

Look at what happened rather than asking why. Reviewing the whys of life keep you trapped even when the answers may be forthcoming. Stressing or angering over the whys prevents one from accepting what is. Focus on what did happen and what can be done to rebuild.
Suppose your home was destroyed. Everyone was safe but the structure was reduced to rubble.

One may ask “why” and find a modicum of relief in the answer, but the house is still in ruins. Knowing the reason why did not reverse the situation nor does it free your mind to problem solve solutions.

Asking “what”, on the other hand, not only lends to finding the cause, it also releases creative energy to reconstruct with an eye toward prevention of it happening again.

It’s all about attitude. During the devastation of Katrina, a displaced family was huddled with hundreds in the Astrodome. Despite makeshift beds and Salvation Army meals, they had each other. One child saw reality beyond the trauma; “Oh, we have a home, we just don’t have a house to put it in.”

Find balance by willingly receiving aide from others, strangers as well as family, and by reaching out to others. You are not in this alone. There are those who care and wish to help, whether through material supplies, manual labor, or love and understanding. There are those that need something from you; possibly your insight, your smile, your hug or encouragement from you.

Look for the silver lining in the dark storm clouds. Blow like a tree in the wind that bends, but does not break. It bounces back to grow and produce fruit.

Concerning those who thrive despite tragedies, Dr. Steven M. Southwick, profess of psychiatry at Yale University School of Medicine sees them as having “post-traumatic-growth-syndrome”. May that be your legacy.

We welcome reprinting of articles in your newsletter or magazine, providing credit is given as follows: “This article was written by Mona Dunkin, Motivational Speaker and Personal Success Coach, www.monadunkin.blogspot.com or www.monadunkin.com.”

8/18/10

Life Tensions

Some tension is necessary for good mental health. Good tension represents the gap between what one has achieved and what he has yet to achieve. It is the difference between where one is and where she is aiming to be. Allowing the challenge to “be all that you can be” stimulates one from latent potential to actual meaning.

In architecture, to strengthen an arch, more weight is put on top to force the parts to join together into a stronger, cohesive whole. Positive stress creates healthy tension that re-orientates one toward the “will to meaning”, thus giving equilibrium to life. Too much tension is harmful to one’s body and mental health.

Reset a faulty stress monitor. All human beings are equipped with biological machinery for handling stress. Stress is endemic based on the “fight or flight” concept. Everyone has a built-in gauge that self-regulates. To panic when one encounters a bear in his path is one thing; to go to pieces when there is no milk is quite another. Like a set-point in an over-charged battery, when stress is activated unnecessarily, the body’s reactive system stays revved up and life becomes a continual crises. The response system reserved for a life-threatening event is unleashed to the boiling point over trivial matters.

Like begets like.
We are creatures of learned behavior. The inability to handle stressful situations results in the inability to handle minor annoyances. This unstable environment sensitizes impressionable children to follow reactionary patterns. Losing control of yourself may have occurred before you were old enough to prevent it yourself. But you are not a child anymore. The window of change is yours through information.

It’s Never Too Late. Although the way you handle stress today may have been influenced by a non-nurturing environment, it is never too late to make a conscious decision to change. In order to function one may suppresses the activating event but the emotional outworking continues until the issue is consciously resolved. We have to be connected to the emotion in order to change it.

Start with a deep breath, hold for three seconds and slowly force the air out through your lips. Repeat, saying to yourself: “I breathe in peace and release anxiety.” In the calmness open your mental data-base where the source of the trauma exists.

As you review the emotion in a detached state, you are in position to make a life changing conscious shift; to truly allow bygones to be bygones. You become equipped to live in the now and grow into whom you were created to be.

We welcome reprinting of articles in your newsletter or magazine, providing credit is given as follows: “This article was written by Mona Dunkin, Motivational Speaker and Personal Success Coach, www.monadunkin.blogspot.com or www.monadunkin.com.”

7/14/10

Reprogramming the Stressed Mind

We think in pictures whether aware of it or not. Whatever is manifested in the mind, the body mechanisms goes into effect to bring it into reality. For example, when you want to raise from a chair the brain takes that mind-picture and releases chemicals for the body to comply, thus muscles contract and energy is released to propel upward movement.

The mind body connection. The mind does not know the difference from what is perceived and what is reality. The body adjusts to perception. Suppose you are frightened of tarantulas and some prankster throws one on you. After you scream, run or possibly recover from a faint, you discover the spider is rubber. Your body responded according to what your mind perceived.

Belief drives behavior. Behavior consists of the thoughts one thinks, the actions taken, the emotions felt and the way the body responds. These four components work in tandem and cannot be separated one from the other. When the conscious mind is continually engaged in fighting for one’s rights or in running away from circumstances, the body remains in a constant state of stress.

Take inventory of your negative beliefs. Listen to your self talk. If it is filled with statements such as "I can't" or "I don't have", or “I’m not worthy of”, then you have limiting beliefs that render stress in the body. Why is the body stressed? Because deep down inside the unconscious mind knows the reality of “You can”, “Resources are available to you” and “You have so much worth and value and are deserving of good things.”

Awareness does not change habits. Information enlightens but does not necessarily heal. It takes calm reflection for insights to sink in and take root, thereby blooming into peace and healthier relationships. Choose to sit quietly for a few minutes each day. Take in a deep breath and hold for three seconds, focus on sending the oxygen to the tense muscles. Slowly release your breath and feel the tension leaving your body. Take in another deep life-giving breath and see it as the self-evident reality that you matter. Hold the breath for three seconds as an embrace of thanksgiving for your life. Slowly exhale through pursed lips and deliberately force out negative programming.

The mind cannot hold two opposing ideas at the same time. That is why arguing with you over pros and cons “drives you crazy”. You are not coming to a conclusion but are going around and around in dizzying circles. Take inventory of your many abilities and resources. Deliberately focus on what abundance you do have. It is interesting how things change when you change.

We welcome reprinting of articles in your newsletter or magazine, providing credit is given as follows: “This article was written by Mona Dunkin, Motivational Speaker and Personal Success Coach, www.monadunkin.blogspot.com or www.monadunkin.com.”

4/1/10

Letting Go of Stress

Just let go of stress! Yeah, right!

We think in picture. Visualizing an image makes the transfer from a thought to a reality somewhat easier. It is like having a light bulb go off in the brain. Picture a trapeze artist swinging from pole to pole, readying to make one precarious mid-space maneuver. He/she must release one reality (the pole), make a swift unsupported 360 degree turn and grasp a solid handhold (the other pole). With training, the tactic is handled with grace and facility.

Determine what is neutral. No matter how much you may protest, the signal light did not turn red just to ruin your day. The signal light is a neutral devise set on a timer, blinking green, yellow, red - over and over, day-in, day-out, regardless if the driver is harried or relaxed. How might you be more relaxed if you choose to view inconveniences as simply that and not as a personal affront. How might your relationships improve if you choose to see all encounters as neutral – a mere request for information, a simple comment on your performance, or an appeal for your help?

Practice makes permanent. Practice makes perfect only if you are practicing correctly. Choose to mentally rehearse phrases that put you in effective control. Phrases such as “This too shall pass”, “I will take the high road”, or “I will not be ruled by my emotions.” Make visual notes to self that will keep your new-found tension releases at the forefront of your mind. Think: we are always practicing; do you want your responses to be perfunctory or perfecting?

Practice marks improvement. There is a learning curve to every worthwhile endeavor. Imagine a stressful situation occurring again, only this time you are more prepared: You are early instead of late; relaxed instead of rushed; rested instead of cranky. You have given mental thought to strategy and worked through possible problems to find solutions. You are pro-active rather than reactive.

See the big picture. Erica Black’s mother was diagnosed with cancer and given a short time to live. Erica came to terms with everyday life and what is really important. She looked at all the things she should be doing and willingly put them on the back burner. She said, “We’re going to be with Mom. It’s just knowing what needs to be done at that moment instead of stressing out about being here or there.” Keeping Balance, Wacoan Dec. 09, www.wacoan.com

Pressure vs. anxiety. Know the difference. Although there are demands on one’s time, the truth remains that if you do not set your schedule, then someone else will set it for you. In accepting life’s responsibilities, do not turn duty into drudgery. Have a willingness to do whatever you agree to do, even if it was thrust upon you. Make it your choice and set yourself up to receive creative ideas.

Make it fun. Remember learning to ride a bicycle? You would fall, skin your knee and get back on again. It was the challenge that kept you going and you found it fun in the process. Accept the dare to see something humorous and self-improving in every stressful situation. Philosopher Brian Johnson encourages us to “eat stress like an Energy Bar”.

My friend, Linda Austin, proclaims “I don’t do stress.” Unfortunately, I am not there yet, but getting closer every day. Join me in letting go of stress.

We welcome reprinting of articles in your newsletter or magazine, providing credit is given as follows: “This article was written by Mona Dunkin, Motivational Speaker and Personal Success Coach, www.monadunkin.blogspot.com or www.monadunkin.com.”

3/30/10

Tired of Being Tired

Chronic fatigue seems to be a national malady and in many cases, doctors find no pathology. Although exhaustion is a legitimate physical ailment, there are many underlying causal factors and accessible helps. Here are some suggestions.

Get moving. Exercise release energizing “feel good” chemicals called endorphins. The movement does not have to be drastic. A simple 15-minute-walk three of four times a week can do wonders. Get off the couch and do a dreaded chore; it can invigorate you to accomplish more.

Meditate. Rest is repairing to the body, soul and body. Periodically sit quietly and picture the stress falling off. Breathe deeply and mentally see the tense muscles uncoil and feel your backpacked burdens slide off. Sink into the chair with your entire weight rather than reserving alertness for the next crises.

Eat Right. Start the day with a breakfast of whole grain, protein and fruit. As good as a doughnut might taste, it contributes to fatigue. Continue through the day with a wholesome lunch, dinner and healthy snacks. Do not skip meals. Just as a car needs a continual supply of high-octane, un-watered down gas, so too does your body need nourishing food as fuel.

Evaluate Your Load. What do you need to jettison from your too full schedule and what needs to be added to energize you. Then do it.

Put yourself to bed. Research indicates that the adult body functions best with seven to ten hours of sleep per night. Prepare for sleep by turning off stimulators at least a half hour before bedtime. Allow your mind to unwind, disengage and embrace the need for refreshing sleep.

Settle Issues. Regret, unforgiveness and resentment are energy sapping. You have to own your emotions before you can move past the event. Honestly acknowledge the pain, humbly accept it and deliberately face the past with faith that you can heal.

Think positively. Your thought life has tremendous effect on your physical being and relationships. Negative thoughts of defeat, fear, anger, hate, resentment and hopelessness release stress hormones into the body resulting in tiredness, anxiety and irritability. By contrast, possibility thoughts of overcoming, love, thankfulness, appreciation, contentment and acceptance releases “feel good endorphins” resulting in energy, satisfaction and calm.

Life is too meaningful to sit on the sidelines. Use these thoughts to discover your energy leaks and take definite steps to plug them.

We welcome reprinting of articles in your newsletter or magazine, providing credit is given as follows: “This article was written by Mona Dunkin, Motivational Speaker and Personal Success Coach, www.monadunkin.blogspot.com or www.monadunkin.com.”

1/21/10

Stopping Stress

Stress is the body’s response to pressure. Your body goes into overdrive with the “fight or flight” syndrome in an attempt to protect you. Less necessary systems shut down so the main focus is on overcoming the present danger. Temporarily, this is wonderful; long-term, it is destructive. The body stays revved up in an altered state of alert and minor inconveniences become a crises. Here are a few thoughts to bring a conclusion to menacing residue stress.

Develop a mantra. Use your self-talk in a positive manner. Repeat over and over a guiding phrase such as, “Not helpful” or “I choose to take the high road.” A synonym for mantra is song or hymn. Allow this soothing refrain to connect you with the divine so you can accept your humanity.

Reframe. In stress overloaded nerves are raw and the smallest slight can seem devastating. Choose to see the offending party as a person of worth and value in spite of their flawed character. When you feel threatened, look around to confirm that a big Mac truck is not barreling down on you.

Breathe. Shallow breathing incites panic. Deliberately take a few seconds to breathe deep. Imagine a deflated balloon in your diaphragm. Slowly inhale through your nose, taking the air down, down, down and in full force until the balloon is inflated. Hold it for a second to relish the oxygen, and then slowly release the air through pursed lips. Repeat two or three times. Feel the tension and overwrought emotions leaving your body and your brain reconnecting with rational thinking.

Reflect. “The last time I hastily engaged in non-productive, frenzied behavior, the outcome was less than honorable.” Think about how you would have liked to have handled the situation had you been in a calm state. Picture it. See yourself responding differently. Practice it in your mind and then accomplish it in reality.

Develop appreciation. Thank your body for doing what it is designed to do. Focus on the competent work your co-workers do accomplish. Watch for the positive things your family members do carry out. Be thankful that the car or appliance lasted and functioned admirably for as long as it did.

Bio-Feedback. Continually check in with the body’s pain alert system for levels of tension or relaxation. Tell yourself: “Rest eyes. Flex shoulders. Unclench jaws. Drop the back-pack. Breathe. Appreciate. Live. Love.”

Say “No” and feel good about it. Say “No” to accepting responsibilities beyond your resources. Say “No” to running amok. Say “No” to berating the offender, both verbally and mentally.

These principles not only work to stop distressing, they also are preventative measures to ward off attracting negative situations to you. Just as a healthy body wards off infection, so also an emotionally nourished individual fends off negative responses. The result is the ability to deal pro-actively with everyday predicaments while reserving your Herculean strength for real emergencies.


We welcome reprinting of articles in your newsletter or magazine, providing credit is given as follows: “This article was written by Mona Dunkin, Motivational Speaker and Personal Success Coach, www.monadunkin.blogspot.com or www.monadunkin.com.”

11/29/09

Happy Holy Days

December is host to many multi-cultural celebrations including Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Pearl Harbor Remembrance, Winter Solstice and Boxing Day. Some are sacred and some are secular. Few months have more teachable moments of love, joy, peace and good will to all men.

December is renowned for shopping and baking and decorating and giving and partying and feasting and traveling and entertaining and stressing. Am I ready for Christmas? Yes, I am. Oh, there is still baking and decorating and other chores to do, but I suggest being ready is more an attitude than an activity.

It is the attitude of living within your means rather than over-spending. It is the attitude of caring for self and others without over-extension. It is the attitude of patience with the harried clerk at the store. It is giving a smile, and refusing to gripe and complain. It is the attitude of graciousness to stressed fellow travelers. It is the attitude of compassion for those with opposing beliefs. It is the attitude of thankfulness for our many freedoms, including worshiping as we choose. It is the attitude of appreciation for the men and women near and far that willingly put themselves in harms way for our protection as well as to bring liberty to the oppressed.

Even with all the hustle and bustle, I love the holidays. Although I like to give and to receive “Merry Christmas” greetings, I am not offended by being wished “Happy Holidays”. It is a quick way of encouraging another to remember that the long celebration season is filled with holy days.

In liturgical Christian churches, the holy days begin with Advent four weeks before December 25th and ends with the Epiphany, January 6th. This period is for reflection upon the true meaning of the season; a time to prepare our homes with lights and streamers and to entertain family and friends and to give gifts, and to ready our hearts to receive afresh a baby that has already been born, with twelve days afterwards to rejoice in the love gift given to mankind.

I believe in Christmas. I believe in the Christ of Christmas. Maybe as one makes every day “holy” during the extended holiday season, he will be better able to keep focus on peace on earth, good will to all men.

We welcome reprinting of articles in your newsletter or magazine, providing credit is given as follows: “This article was written by Mona Dunkin, Motivational Speaker and Personal Success Coach, www.monadunkin.blogspot.com or www.monadunkin.com.”

2/20/08

Stress Stoppers

Stress is neutral. Physically we need stress in order to remain upright. Too much stress and we become rigid and break easily. Become aware of necessary stress escalating into distress. Here are some thoughts for effectively handling the stressors of life.

Keep things in perspective. If you’re late, you’re late and breaking your neck to get there will not make up for lost time and cause you to miraculously arrive on time. Don’t rush and don’t dawdle. When you reach your destination, be there and do not waste energy excuses or blaming.

Care giver vs. Savior. People we care about make demands on our time and resources. You can become overwhelmed with their neediness if you see yourself as the answer rather advisor or aide. In giving advice also give leeway for the individual to reject your input. In giving aide, know what is helpful and what is intrusive.

Respond vs. react. Respond to the need to clean up the milk rather than react to the messy floor or the child’s childishness. Respond to the person’s frustration rather than react to his emotional outburst. Responding seeks resolution, whereas reacting compounds the problem.

Tame the taunting critic. Listen to your self-talk and see how you are your own worst enemy. Sure you have made mistakes and you have also had a lot of successes. Focus on those. Picture the worst-case scenario then tap into your untapped strength and overcome.

Reassess priorities and schedules. Are the items on your to-do list real or self-imposed? What would happen if you didn’t attend that meeting? Are radish rosettes worth your sanity? Do the elaborate decorations make you a more gracious host? Will the sun not come up tomorrow if you miss a deadline? Would the organization fold if you did not chair the committee?

Have faith. Faith is looking forward to something that has not happened yet. Have faith in your ability to stop doing as well as to do. Have faith in others to step up to bat and take responsibility. Have faith in God to be faithful regardless. Have faith that this too shall pass. Have faith that hope, energy and clear thinking is restored through sleep.

Say “No” and feel good about it. You cannot give out of an empty basket. Never say “Yes” just to be liked. Failure to say “No” when it is in your own best interest leads to a bad case of the “overs” – over-commitment, over-scheduling, over-spending, over-indulging, over-re-acing… being over-bearing. Leave ‘em wanting more. Say “Yes” only to what is in the scope of your dreams, talents, time and resources.

Establish boundaries. Although undue stress may seem inevitable, it is alleviated through establishing boundaries. A relative of mine was an avid fan of a company whose products were sold through a home party plan. She had to have so many hostesses a year to book from her so she could win a butter dish. She could always depend on Mona. Saying “No” was painful, but not fatal. In the long run, it was also freeing to her. If you don’t have someone to aid and abet, why start the process? Stop the stress and start living.

People we care about make demands on our time and resources. You can become overwhelmed with their neediness if you see yourself as the answer rather advisor or aide. In giving advice also give leeway for the individual to reject your input. In giving aide, know what is helpful and what is intrusive.

9/3/07

Seven Steps of De-Stressing

Natalie Goldberg suggests that stress is an ignorant state because it assumes everything is an emergency. Though many demands are made on your time do not compound stress by giving it more importance than it rightly deserves.

State it. Name it and claim it. Name it and calm it. Make a list of all your to-dos from the major to the minor. Naming them is what is important. Whatever is named can be tamed. Once you see it in black and white, the paper recalls it for you and your energy is devoted to accomplishing the task, not to remembering all the things you would be stressed over if you forgot!

Sort it. After making your list, sort it into segments. Determine what is immediate and long-term. Decide which things can be done quickly and marked off and which ones need additional steps. Establish what needs extra resources or to be outsourced. Give up multi-tasking and concentrate on the job at hand.

Start it. You begin by beginning. Overcome the law of inertia by putting yourself into action. Stop procrastinating and get busy! Pick up the phone. File the folder. Do not rationalize, justify or excusify. Just do it!

Heaven never helps the person who will not act. Sophocles

Split it. What can be started now and followed up later. What can be eliminated? What is busy work rather than business? How can you simplify? Q: How do you eat an elephant? A: One bite at a time spaced over days with intervals for digestion and elimination. Go back to your to-dos and determine short and long term deadlines as needed.

Staff it. What can be delegated? Whose job are you micro-managing? A mark of a leader - whether CEO, MOM or DAD - is to share responsibilities with other members of the team. Caution: Delegating does not mean dumping. Delegating involves training and accountability. Trying to be the solution, strength and savior compounds stress.

Stop it. Stop procrastinating. Stop exaggerating – you do not have a million things to do!
Stop devaluing co-workers. Stop the perfection; go for excellence and learn and grow. Stop the madness; rush less and rest more. Stop saying, “Yes” to more than you can easily handle.

Savor it. Looked at things accomplished and appreciate your efforts.

DON’T COPE, OVERCOME Soften it with a smile. I am not sure if the delay of this e-letter is from busy-ness or procrastination, but I am considering this your August issue even if it is September 10th. Your attitude determines your behavior. By handling life in a serious, yet lighthearted manner, stress is relegated to its proper place of reserve for responding to real emergencies

CREATING VALUE: True success involves mutual gain. Mona’s book, Creating Value, an intangible in a tangible world, deals with developing a dual bottom line of being cost-effective and people effective by balancing a three-legged stool of being, doing and having. It explores Einstein’s Theory of Relativity and applies the physics principles to human relationships. Buy it today. http://www.monadunkin.com/

NEED A MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKER: One of America's most interesting speakers can be enjoyed in person in a presentation tailored to your specific need. Whether organizational, business or civic, you will be entertained with her humor, challenged with her gift of uncommon insights, and motivated by her thought provoking poems. Mona has developed a dramatic series of life changing, solution principles that address the universal needs of people.

6/15/07

Let’s Get Organized, Part 2

A major stress reducing strategy is good organization. Here are more thoughts on the subject.

1. Prune and Prioritize. Organize around your whole life. We are a complicated whole and cannot separate ourselves from ourselves and everything you do effects everything you do. Prune those things that do not contribute to life goals and essential relationships. Prioritize things that do contribute to human connections, efficiency and effectiveness. Effective is the ability to bring about a desired result and efficient is to do so without wasted energy or undue stress. Your vehicle may be effective in that it gets you from point A to point B, but may not be efficient if it is a gas guzzler. By using the tools of planning (what to do) and scheduling (when to do it), prune and prioritize to be both effective and efficient.

2. What is scheduled gets done. Schedules give you freedom "to" as well as freedom "not to". Schedules give peace of getting over the "someday I’ll" by putting a date to it. When talking with a client, have calendar in hand and directly set the appointment. When you receive an invitation, decide if you want to go, check your agenda and write it in. Be considerate by immediately RSVPing ("yes" or "no"), note on your on-going "to do list" if a gift is in order, place the invite in your "events" folder and forget about it until reviewing your upcoming weekly schedule on Sunday evening. Plan personal as well as professional. Being at your daughter’s recital is a priority and having it displayed in your date-book gives you the freedom to say "No" to anything that tries to encroach.

3. Plan backward and execute forward. Get the big picture and then break it down into digestible bites. How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time and with space allocated for digestion. To read The Complete Works of Shakespeare in a year, divide 261 days into the 1450 pages that gives you 5 and 1/2 pages daily – an easily accomplished goal with two days off per week. Many people think they work best under looming deadlines. I suggest we work best when focused and many do not focus until the deadline is looming.

4. Learn real time vs. think time. This is a two way street: sometimes thinking about something much longer than the real time to do it, and sometimes discounting the real amount of time a project will take. Both are self-sabotaging. Few things are as de-motivating as dread or ineffective thinking. How much time to you spend worrying about a project before putting pencil to paper to make concrete plans. You erroneously think you are doing something when you are only thinking about doing something. On the other hand, how often do you think an assignment will take a short time when in actuality it takes hours. The answer comes by diving in immediately with hands on planning and, if needed, scheduling in procrastination or catch up time. Do not overrate your abilities and do not be afraid to ask for help.

5. Handle it once. Make it a priority to take care of it while it is in your hand rather or put it in the appropriate place for later. Do not lay things down to contribute to confusion and clutter. Use the two minute rule. If the phone call will take less than two minutes, do it immediately. If you have ten two-minute phone calls, schedule them in for later. With snail mail, immediately sort correspondence from bills and toss junk into the recycle bin. Place bills in a pre-designated place to be paid once or twice a month and always well in advance of due dates. With e-mails, do not waste your time opening non-essentials and make ready use of the delete key. Make one reply late in the day to a colleague who sends you ten letters. Write down phone messages then delete. When given a report or project to do, rather than tossing it aside to accumulate dread time, sit down immediately and brainstorm, making notes of ideas, dates, people to be involved, materials required, resources needed, etc. Stay focused. Going from one project to another wastes times and energy and is nonproductive.

6. Challenge your excuses. We are creative people, only many times this creativity is used negatively rather than positively. It takes creativity to come up with excuses. There is a difference in an excuse and a reason. A legitimate reason gives peace, whereas excuses engenders stress and conflict. What are your excuses and how much truth is in them? I don’t know? I’m too busy? It’s too costly? My boss (co-workers, family) will not cooperate. What is the root of your excuses? Fear? Intimidation? Perfectionism? Lack of commitment? Laziness? Inadequate?

7. Choose your attitude. Many times the actions taken are the same for work and for play. What makes one a chore and one a joy is attitude. And attitude is a choice. Choose to
Compete only with yourself and continually improve performance.

8. Learn to say "No". It is so empowering. And do so without guilt or explanation. Never say "Yes" just to be liked; it doesn’t work.

DON’T COPE, OVERCOME. Compete only with yourself and cooperate with others. Challenge yourself to see humor and fun in everything. Play games to keep you on track; lightly keep score and give yourself praise and rewards. Be your own best friend.

TESTIMONIALS: What others say about Mona’s teaching

Mona has truly been an inspirational figure to me. I have a problem trying to please too many people and Mona gave me permission to say “No” when it is in my own best interest. I now use this advice every single day and it has had a huge positive impact on my life. Mona is a very dedicated and wise person. She is driven to succeed for all the right reasons. The thing that impresses me most about her is that she does not judge people. Matt Levin, Baylor University

CREATING VALUE: True success involves mutual gain. Mona’s new book, Creating Value, an intangible in a tangible world, deals with developing a dual bottom line of being cost-effective and people effective by balancing a three-legged stool of being, doing and having. It explores Einstein’s Theory of Relativity and applies the physics principles to human relationships. Buy it today. http://www.monadunkin.com

NEED A MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKER: One of America's most interesting speakers can be enjoyed in person in a presentation tailored to your specific need. Whether organizational, business or civic, you will be entertained with her humor, challenged with her gift of uncommon insights, and motivated by her thought provoking poems. Mona has developed a dramatic series of life changing, solution principles that address the universal needs of people.

6/1/07

Let’s Get Organized, Part 1

One of my most frequently requested topics is Effective Time Management and Organizational Skills. Managing time and managing stuff goes hand-in-hand and both contribute to accomplishment. Here are seven thoughts with more to follow in later e-letters. Enjoy.

1. You cannot organize clutter. Clutter is postponed decisions or action. Italian Vilfredo Pareto is credited with discovering the "80/20 principle of imbalance" when he calculated that 80% of the land was owned by 20% of the people. How does that apply to organization? For example, take a simple concept like your clothes closet: 80% of what you own is worn 20% of the time. So what is the other 80%? It is clutter. Expand this analogy to overflowing file cabinets, teeming storage closets, piles of notes kept, phone calls postponed, electronic gadgets accumulated, swarms of out-of-date magazines/newspapers, projects started, have-to-haves impulsively bought and the stacks of unidentified stuff in nooks and crannies. If you get rid of only 20% you have created space for emotional energy to flourish. Messy desks effects how others view your performance. Less clutter may aid in a move up the corporate ladder.

2. Sort and Store. Decide which area of clutter is most important then set aside fifteen minutes to begin sorting. Make three stacks: "things to do", "things to keep", "things to recycle". Every item you pick up represents a decision. If it requires action – regardless of the time frame needed – place it in the "things to do" stack. If it is something you need/want to keep, put it in the "things to keep" section. Things that need to be done away with, place in recycle.

3. Do it or dump it. Take the "things to do" stack and sort it by projects and time constraints. Place all phone calls together, put items to be read in one place, reports to finish in one segment, etc. Be brutal in deciding what you really will do and what you will never get around to doing. Give yourself a moratorium such as follow ups will be within ten days or unread articles will be kept for only three months. Then keep to it. The time limit will motivate you to action. Do not hold on to stale leads, outdated articles or incomplete projects. Get rid of unfinished tasks; either complete or discard. Make a fair assessment of "What I don’t intend to do", then eliminate it from your energy field.

4. A place for everything and everything in its place. Take the "things to keep" stack and decide where its home will be. Assign it a place and do not allow other things to fill in the gap. At home I have a pickle keeper that lives in my refrigerator whether it is filled with pickles or freshly washed awaiting the next trip to the grocery store. Not only does this keep things neat but it is time efficient in that you do not have to search to find the item. Why? Because it is in its home.

5. Continually evaluate need. Let this thought help with the get rid of/recycle stack. Everything has three price tags. One is the original dollars paid, two is the emotional attachment and three is cost of maintenance. What are you holding on to simply because of the funds invested or the sentimental connection. Time is money. How much time are you investing in moving, storing, dusting, repairing items that have become clutter.

6. Keep on-going lists. Accumulated trivials can become overwhelming. Planning is what you need to do or want to do to make your life more meaningful. Scheduling is when you are going to do it. As you consistently keep a list of pending needs you are at liberty to schedule them in before crunch time. In your day-timer, on your computer or a yellow legal pad, keep a running list of the following things: Monthly Goals, Yearly Goals, Errands to Run, Items to Purchase, Jobs to Do, Phone Calls to Make, Things to Remember, Encouragement to Me, Other and anything else you need to keep a handle on. Feel the exhilaration of accomplishment when marking off a completed task and the bask in the sense of accountability for staying on top of the game for upcoming negligible tasks. The on-going reminder of monthly and yearly goals are essential to keep you on track and frequent notes of encouragement to yourself keep you energized. Continually self-evaluate productivity and revise your lists and planning.

7. Review, Revise, and Reinvigorate. Before retiring each night review your day to feel the satisfaction of things accomplished and to feel the sting of things avoided. Did you really not have time or were you ill-prepared? Do not confuse busy-ness with business or activity with accomplishment. Rethink your commitments and priorities to make sure they match. Readjust your schedule as needed for satisfaction and productivity and encourage yourself to learn, to grow and to get organized. At the end of each day, schedule the next day’s timed events and then fill in your top value priorities. At the end of each week, schedule the next week’s known events and plan your priorities. Be sure to include personal and family time. Time is currency; spend it wisely.

These organizational thoughts are guidelines, not a recipe. For individualized assistance, invite me to your business or organization. 254-749-6594 or mdunkin@flash.net

DON’T COPE, OVERCOME: Live for what is important, not just to get things done.
Coach John Wooden says, “Hurry, but don’t rush.” Rest is a vital factor in organization and productivity. When you think you do not have time for a break is when you need it most. Stop rushing by frequently putting the urgent on hold to breath deeply and clear your mind, returning to the activity with renewed energy and focus. Rushing is stress producing whereas restful hurrying is energizing.

TESTIMONIALS: What others say about Mona’s training.

“Mona Dunkin has the unique ability as well as drive to reach out and help others with her gift of coaching and mentoring. Mona taught me the importance of separating my actions from my words. Many times if I do something that is not wise, I will attack my self-esteem instead of calling the action unwise. She also taught me how to resolve a specific conflict with a friend.” Darnel Kimble, Baylor University

CREATING VALUE: True success involves mutual gain. Mona’s new book, Creating Value, an intangible in a tangible world, deals with developing a dual bottom line of being cost-effective and people effective by balancing a three-legged stool of being, doing and having. It explores Einstein’s Theory of Relativity and applies the physics principles to human relationships. Buy it today. http://www.monadunkin.com/

NEED A MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKER: One of America's most interesting speakers can be enjoyed in person in a presentation tailored to your specific need. Whether organizational, business or civic, you will be entertained with her humor, challenged with her gift of uncommon insights, and motivated by her thought provoking poems. Mona has developed a dramatic series of life changing, solution principles that address the universal needs of people.

8/15/06

Stress and Significance

All of us are searching for identity, position, purpose and significance. Often in the process we encounter stress.

I was recently in Jersey City on the Hudson to attend and to present at the International Conference of the William Glasser Institute. The vendors were nearly finished setting up when I arrived at the book room to display my materials. Only I did not have the books with me as I had previously shipped them to the hotel and they were still in storage. The vendor room attendant was ready to lock up and agreed to wait if I would quickly go to the Concierge and retrieve the books.

The conference was held at the Hyatt Regency and the personnel’s helpfulness and attitudes were exemplary. The young lady graciously took my request and assured me the books would soon arrive. I waited. I went back to the vendor room to give a progress report to the attendant. I waited some more. I checked with the Concierge again. She made a phone call. I waited some more.

I did not set my stopwatch but I am certain that the actual wait time was not as long as it seemed. Choosing to not stress, I breathed deeply and turned to enjoy the beautiful scenery. The Hyatt Regency is located on the Hudson River directly across from New York City’s financial district and the vacant twin-towers lot. I had visited the site earlier. It is a sobering experience.

As I stood there I reflected on the Chinese Proverb, “Tension is who you think you should be. Relaxation is who you are.” I realized my stress was not over a slight delay in retrieving books but in my over exaggerated sense of self-importance.

In the book , The Camel Knows the Way, Lorna Kelly recounts being overwhelmed with Calcutta’s mass filth and poverty-stricken humanity. Lorna commented to Mother Theresa that all of her work was like a drop of water in a bucket. Mother Theresa countered. “No, my child. All our work is like a drop of water in the ocean.”

When I feel stressed over lack of quick acknowledgement, I realize my priorities are out of order. The more I am in touch with the vastness of the universe and the widespread wounds of the world, the more I realize the significance of each human being and the importance of every act of kindness. And the more content I am with who I am.

DON’T COPE, OVERCOME: Humility is a do-it-yourself job. Humility is not thinking less of yourself but thinking of yourself less. We overcome the stress of self-importance by adopting humility, and in the process we find significance.

TESTIMONIALS: “I have just completed reading Creating Value, what a blessing. The "kiss" approach you have applied in your writing reinforces many applicable goals in my life. I do hope any time you are in the Tri-State New York area, I will be first in line to be blessed. Please sign me up for your monthly 'e-zine’ and also to be alerted of your upcoming 'Workbook’. Thanks again for Creating Value.” Samuel Greene, New York City