Self Care

It is more important that you take care of you than that you take care of them. Does that sound selfish? Done in the right spirit, it is the first step toward selflessness. You cannot give out of an empty basket. A hungry man is unable to feed another. A full chef delights in serving.

Decay or grow. Our bodies are built to move. Movement stimulates cell growth. Reduced movement results in cell atrophy. A lethargic lifestyle causes the body to waste away. Decay. The body is a good servant in that it responds as gracefully as possible to the treatment we give it.

Endless recycle program. Our bodies consist of trillions of cells. They continually die off and are replaced. Bones dissolve and regenerate. High school health class taught that we have a completely new body ever seven years. But it is in increments, like 1% a day. What determines the quality of replacement? Whether the replacement quality is high or inferior depends on the lifestyle choices we make every day. Stronger or weaker cells? Our choice.

Intentional care. Remember the airline instructions? In case of emergency, you place the air bag on you first before helping the child, elderly, infirmed or others. Be intentional about your nutrition, your rest and your needs so that you are in optimum condition - mentally and physically - to help others.

Emotions play a big part. Human beings are composed of molecules therefore everything affects our molecular structure. Destructive emotions such as anger, hate, stress and loneliness send a “decay” message to the cells. These long-held emotions lead to chronic pain. Even though the angry person may be wishing ill on another he is issuing his own death warrant.

Conversely, positive emotions such as optimism, love, compassion and community promote strength, thus healthy molecules. Not only does the molecular body benefit, but also one’s mind, heart, spirit and social life.

Handling the day-to-day stresses of life begins with self-care. Start with quality quiet time. What if it really does work?

Mona Dunkin is a Motivational Speaker, Corporate Trainer and Personal Success Coach.


When Reality Sets In

While reading to my granddaughter she suddenly exclaimed, “Nana, you have something on your face.” She said it looked like pencil marks between my eyebrows.

After unsuccessful attempts to wipe it off, I looked in the mirror. It was not pencil marks. It was wrinkles. Deep ones.

Long ago I came to peaceful terms with the reality of death. I know that each of us has been allotted only so many days on this earth, I guess I just never expected to look like I was aging.
Since the announcement of those first wrinkles, others have joined the ranks. I’m okay with that and gracefully settle into being a senior adult.

The way one perceives life becomes his reality – only it may not actually be real. The reality is that all of us alive at this moment are aging and have benchmarks to verify it. That does not discount one’s viability as a human being with infinite worth and value.

A current mantra is “Fifty is the new thirty.” Does that mean that thirty is the new ten?

On the front of a birthday card was the question: “What is the difference in a 40-year-old and a 4- year-old?” Answer: “The 4-year-old wants to grow up.” Is this inferring that a 40-plus often remains childish by adopting the immature foot-stomping stance of Peter Pan?

Is our society so obsessed with youth, that, despite advancing years, the population convinces itself that aging is bad? Wisdom does not necessarily come with advancing years. Humility is acceptance of one’s humanness including positives and negatives, strengths and limitations, abilities and diminishing facilities. I suggest humility and wisdom are akin.

Wisdom comes when we release childhood misconceptions for adult realities. Life does not stand still. We are growing or dying, enlarging or shrinking, maturing or reverting to juvenile behavior. To resist changing makes growth difficult, if not impossible.

How freeing to embrace another tomorrow with anticipation of acquired wisdom. Live life so the spirit stays young. Take care of the package and embrace the reality of aging.

Once, on CBS’s Sunday Morning, Anthony Mason talked with rocker Tom Petty about his many accomplishments, life and the future. Mason mentioned Petty’s apparent ease with the encroachment of the Big 6-0 birthday. Tom Petty accepts the reality of aging with his philosophy of: “If you’re not getting older, you’re dead.”

Good insight. Let us live while we are alive, wrinkles and all.

Need a speaker? For all your training needs think of Mona Dunkin and Solution Principles. 254-749-6594 or monadunkin@gmail.com


Reprogramming the Stressed Mind

We think in pictures whether aware of it or not. Whatever is manifested in the mind, the body mechanisms go into effect to bring it into reality. For example, when you want to raise from a chair the brain takes that mind-picture and releases chemicals for the body to comply, thus muscles contract and energy is released to propel upward movement. 

The mind body connection. The mind does not know the difference from what is perceived and what is reality. The body adjusts to perception. Suppose you are frightened of tarantulas and some prankster throws one on you. After you scream, run or possibly recover from a faint, you discover the spider is rubber. Your body responded according to what your mind perceived.

Belief drives behavior. Behavior consists of the thoughts one thinks, the actions taken, the emotions felt and the way the body responds. These four components work in tandem and cannot be separated one from the other. When the conscious mind is continually engaged in fighting for one’s rights or in running away from circumstances, the body remains in a constant state of stress.

Take inventory of your negative beliefs.  Listen to your self-talk. If it is filled with statements such as "I can't" or "I don't have", or “I’m not worthy of”, then you have limiting beliefs that render stress in the body. Why is the body stressed? Because deep down inside the unconscious mind knows the reality of “You can”, “Resources are available to you” and “You have so much worth and value and are deserving of good things.”

Awareness does not change habits. Information enlightens but does not necessarily heal. It takes calm reflection for insights to sink in and take root, thereby blooming into peace and healthier relationships. Choose to sit quietly for a few minutes each day. Take in a deep breath and hold for three seconds, focus on sending the oxygen to the tense muscles. Slowly release your breath and feel the tension leaving your body.  Take in another deep life-giving breath and see it as the self-evident reality that you matter. Hold the breath for three seconds as an embrace of thanksgiving for your life. Slowly exhale through pursed lips and deliberately force out negative programming.

The mind cannot hold two opposing ideas at the same time. That is why arguing with you over pros and cons “drives you crazy”. You are not concluding but are going around and around in dizzying circles. Take inventory of your many abilities and resources. Deliberately focus on what abundance you do have. It is interesting how things change when you change.

For all your speaking and training needs, contact Mona Dunkin, Motivational Speaker and Personal Success Coach, 254-749-6594 


America, Bless God

In July, we celebrate America’s birthday in song, festivities and fireworks and chime in with “God Bless America.” God has blessed America and continues to bless our great country.
Francis Scott Key ended all four stanzas of The Star-Spangled Banner with a question or a declaration regarding “the land of the free, and the home of the brave.” The lyrics are immortal, covering Key’s present (September 14, 1814), through our present (2017) and into the future.

“Oh say, does the Star-Spangled Banner yet wave…..
'Tis the star-spangled banner - O long may it wave ….
And the star-spangled banner in triumph doth wave…
And the star-spangled banner in triumph shall wave…”

We creative humans are apt at turning a phrase for a different slant or intent. I love the magnet on our refrigerator “Home of the free because of the brave.” I equally love the poster “Home of the brave because we are free.”

All have a ring of truth.

All things in life are mysteriously, albeit intricately, connected. Being blessed is contingent upon blessing. Blessing is subject to being blessed, and so forth and so on over and over again. Our forefathers blessed America as a country hallowed for freedom of religion, a place in which free enterprise can flourish, where all people are to be created equally and established a government in which all her citizens have a voice.

How can we, as Americans, bless God?

One way we bless God is through our individual acts of kindness. Realize that everyone is carrying a heavy load. Focus on earning respect rather than deserving it. Choose to be respectful to others while simultaneously behaving in a way that earns respect from them.

We bless God by welcoming the “huddled masses yearning to breathe free”, by valuing diversity and having a willingness to appreciate and incorporate differences. Most of us American born citizens have our ancestral roots in other soil.

We bless God by respecting planet earth. Go green. Reduce. Reuse. Recycle. Live within your income. Conserve natural resources. Replenish fallow land. History confirms that a broken land begets a broken people.

We bless God by having a thankful spirit. Being thankful in all things. Being thankful for all things. Not because on the surface all things are worthy of thanks, but because we become a happier and more productive person when we look for something in the situation for which to be thankful. Be thankful, because of and despite of.

America, filled with an abundance of flawed and fabulous individuals, is ‘the land that we love.”

For all your training needs think of Mona Dunkin and Solution Principles. 254-749-6594 or monadunkin@gmail.com