Growing Up

“I’m afraid to grow up.” This was Laura’s pronouncement to her mom following a hurtful disagreement with a classmate (Little House on the Prairie).

Ma, in her wisdom replied, “I guess nobody grows up all the way. There is a little girl inside every woman, and there is a little woman inside every girl. As you put some distance to this hurt, you can look back and find some humor in it.”

Here are some thoughts on growing up, regardless of our chronological age.

Be authentic. Do not try to be someone you are not. Success is not dependent on who we are as much as on what we do with who we are. Trying to be different in order to try to live up to another’s expectations can be exhausting as well as come across as being fake. It also can lead to failure as well as internal conflict.

Set goals in keeping with your personal values. Goals are those things that motivate us to continue to move forward; they should never clash with one’s core values. Every decision has consequences. Live life so that you are comfortable with the outcome of your choices. Harmony in interpersonal relationships results in limited chaos or second-guessing.

Be responsible for your own actions. Responsibility is having the ability to control how you respond. Be proactive rather than reactive. Do not allow outside circumstances dictate your decisions or you’ll find yourself heading to the burnout trap. When reverses and lapses occur, rethink and keep moving toward being your authentic self.

Make time for your. Set an appointment with you and honor it just as you would any other important meeting. You need sufficient hours for your own relaxation and the things that you enjoy. Avoid the propensity to take care of everyone and everything while neglecting your own needs.

Celebrate successes. Catch yourself doing “the right thing” and acknowledge your maturity. Those times you held your tongue rather than lashing out. When you acknowledged another’s personality differences rather than passing judgment. When you chose to listen and empathize rather than assume.

Learn from failures. Robert F. Kennedy said, “Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.” There is no shame in failing or making mistakes. Do not dwell on setbacks; learn from them and move on. Everyone has baggage. The goal is to jettison your ego-imposed guilt so you can grow.

As we acknowledge our humanness and put distance to the hurt or embarrassment or disappointment, “you can look back and find some humor in it.” That is emotional maturity.