Loyalty Above All, Except Honor

Honor is as real to the human condition as love. Honor is formulated by one’s experiences, dignity and character; it is the totality of an individual’s trustworthiness and based on his social status, attitudes and actions. In teaching classes on character qualities such as integrity and honor, I am sometimes asked, “Are you telling me that you never do anything wrong, not even speed.”

My answer: “I do not intentionally speed.” I am not saying that I never do anything wrong; I am saying that I listen to my conscience and I do not “practice sin”. When my conscience is pricked, I take careful measures to heed the warning, evaluate and make corrections. My deepest desire is to be more than I am; to be true to my innate gifting.

Insight leads to change. Whether one believes it or not, we have enough light for the step we are on.

Which moral value is the most important? What does self-respect mean?
Honor: mark of distinction, respect, admiration, credit, reputation, tribute, principle, nobility, pride, mark of distinction, award, prize (Antonym: shame, disgrace)

“I was the perfect con man. No one could do it better than me. Others would marvel at the way I could talk my way out of any tight spot or talk someone else into doing whatever I wanted. Then one day I was sitting all alone on my cot looking through the bars on my window and a question hit me: If I was all that great and masterful, why had nine out of my last eleven years been spent in a cell?” The Con Game, Serenity Support Services, Inc. (used without permission)

Honor is a principle – not a rule – and is open to interpretation. Dr. Samuel Johnson suggests that honor has several senses with the most important ones being “nobility of soul, magnanimity and a scorn of meanness.” Dictionary of the English Language


Formula for change: Decision + Discipline + Divinity = Destiny

• Make a decision - basic; think through, ponder, come to a conclusion
• Develop discipline - determine steps and summons the courage to take them
• Divinity - God’s help is imperative. It is not magic but it is a mystery

Develop an “edit function”. Those without an edit function are into people pleasing or doing the “in” thing, without regard to moral values and often to their own harm. It does not take honor to self-protect or to go along with the crowd. It takes honor to do what scares you. The self-protection of loyalty in the face of honor deceptively cushions one for his personal stupidity. A powerful enforcing tool in conformity is shunning.

We live in community and look around us to determine what is normal. Perception is based on two realities: 1) general observation of others and 2) specific personal experience. When they match, we assume it to be truth. When there is dissonance, we are in the position to embrace and to change.

Every choice has it own set of new circumstances. The devil you don’t know is better than the devil you know? Getting rid of one devil one may bring honor, but it also may bring negative ramifications. There are devils everywhere. As you get honest with you, you find that roaring monsters live in the dark and light exposes them to be the squeaking mice they really are.