ASK MONA: Insights into perplexing questions
Dear Mona,
In our culture, we have a coming-of-age celebration on the 12th birthday. Mine was a big deal and I loved it. I want the same thing for my daughter, however, at age five she wants to wear make up and carry a purse and I want her to wait. I have said “No” to make up until age 12 but she still wants a purse. What should I do?
Young Mother
Dear Young Mother,
Give her a purse. Does she have a doll even though she is not of child-rearing age?
Sure she does. It’s a toy. It is a way of looking forward to being a mommy and practicing nurturing skills. Let her do the same thing with appreciating her female status and budding femininity. Be pleasantly firm in the boundary of a certain age before wearing make-up while allowing her to have pretend toiletries such as plastic lipstick and compact. And give her a purse to keep them in.
In the process of learning about and respecting your culture, allow your daughter to be true to herself.
Mona
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